mommy

We take 3 nice vacations every year, but now that my older son is considered an adult at 13, I'm beginning to question whether we should limit our family vacations and go as a couple only. It's getting to the point where a caribbean vacation is costing twice as much when we take the kids. I know they're spoiled, but when I think about it, no kids need to go on all those trips.<BR><BR>Do you take your kids, or leave them? I"m thinking of limiting the little darlings to one trip per year, and just going with my husband on the others. I guess my reluctance comes from living in an affluent area where most families jet around all over the place, and most kids have more FF miles than I do. Has anyone put the Kabosh on family travel?

amyK

we do both. Our two boys are still very little so we do a family trip with them somewhere appropriate - and try to do it with the grandparents, too!!<BR><BR>We then travel once a year on our own. Sometimes a long weekend in a cottage or sometimes a week in the islands - depends on the time of year, budget, etc.<BR><BR>If you take 3 "nice" vacations every year, why don't you consolidate down to 2 - one with kids, one without.<BR><BR>The main consideration then would be who would watch your teenagers while you were gone.......PARTY!!!!! <BR><BR>

Marti

We do one of each, a nice cabin or beach with kids, then a spa or resort for just us. I am blessed with inlaws who come and watch our kids, so we can do this, that's the hardest part!!

mommy

I think we're going to start going that route. It's important to get away as a couple, and my kids should learn that they can't go everywhere. Hey, maybe we can hit some more sophisticated locales like the Riviera and Amalfi Coast. <BR><BR>We don't have to worry about parties, we too are lucky enough to have grandparents willing to watch them. Thanks for the replies.

O.T.

What is the reluctance? Is it -<BR>how are you going to tell the affluent neigbourhood you can not afford to go to Caribbean??<BR><BR>you spoilt you kids and now you are stuck with it..<BR><BR>unless you tell them (your children)honestly why 3 "nice" holidays per year is out of your budget, and they have been led to believe you are as rich as Mr and Mrs Jones next door, <BR>you have a problem on your hands.. my advice is be honest with your kids, tell them we do not want to get in to debt, stockmarket is down, unwise to use creditcards etc.<BR><BR>It is difficult to give proper advice not knowing the full circumstances, but good luck<BR><BR>(and I know what difference it makes paying adult fare for a 12 year old, my children are 11 and 16 and their latest offer is to travel from England to Anguilla Economy class and their schoolfee-paying parents could pay the difference into their allowance (we are still negotiating). <BR><BR>Good luck!

laurie

Once, we took our two oldest children (then, they were ages 13 and 16) away to an all-inclusive resort. It was very different from going just the two of us. When it's just the two of you, you bond as a couple (not to mention other fun stuff), and can focus on why you fell in love with that person.<BR>When you bring children, you are still in 'mom and dad' mode.<BR>You will do you kids good by getting away together and reconnecting as a couple.<BR>Your kids (at least mine) are just as happy taking a family trip to the nearest amusement park, or rent a cabin for a week.<BR>The way my husband and I have looked at it...it took us 30 years before we got to the Carribean. Our kids can wait and go with their partner/spouse someday.<BR>We do not owe it to them to take them on a vacation like that.

mommy

OT, Yes, I guess I am reluctant to have them home while all of their friends are off on vacations. One of the not so nice things about living in an affluent community I guess. I don't have a problem with denying them things though, the 13 year old is already set to start caddying next summer at the country club where he will most likely be carrying clubs for his friends. I think it's a good lesson, they won't be THAT spoiled!

opinions

I think it is relevant to what type of family relationship you have within the family unit. They don't sound like they have been deprived children. If they are use to a family bonding time, then I think it is appropriate to still do that at least once a year. Perhaps downscale it a bit. Then it would also be nice for you and your husband to get away alone at this point in time. Some kids at this age really would rather stay home with friends then go on family vacations.

me too

I can relate, "mommy!" Also see the above post "Question for the Hotel Industry." Once your kids reach full-price status and adult size, family vacations get very complicated. It is sad to see the separation process in progress! However, I also see it as a period in life to reconnect with our spouses. It does make me feel a bit guilty to leave the kids out! Yet on the other hand, the realization that it will soon be their choice to be "out" eases the anxiety. I'm planning on alternating a nice "family" vacation and a "mom and dad" vacation every 8-10 months.<BR>

Marti

I'm really tempted to try a Disney cruise, I'm not much of a Disney person, but the commercials make it look so fun for the kids, as well as for Mom and Dad. <BR><BR>One year we went to Club Med Sandpiper, and they had a great kids program, where we could go explore for a few hours, while we left our daughter. We've not tried that since #2 came along 2 years ago, but I think we'll do it again soon.

Diesta

We have 3 kids....11,12&14 years. We take 1 vacation each year without them. The first time was really hard for me, and I still always find myself saying, "Oh, wouldn't they love this?" But, I must say that it is so much more relaxing and enjoyable to not have to keep them entertained. We travel with another couple and have the time of our lives! The kids enjoy several other vacations with us as a family. It's good for everyone! Try it......

cheviot

If you can afford to take the kids, you can afford to. If not, you can't. Is it a question of whether you actually want them with you? Are you willing to come up with plans everybody likes, and stick to them? Otherwise, you adults or the kids will go crazy and feel slighted. Personally, we always take our daughter (now 16) everywhere, because we like traveling with her, and she adores travel. Travel obviously is not just about spending money but about gaining new experiences, meeting people different from oneself, and learning to deal.

Kim

We go without my stepson. My husband chooses not to bring his son mainly because that should be our time together. <BR><BR>Also we can't really afford to take him and we prefer not to travel during the summer because it is hotter and because of hurricane season.

Dave

Your son is going to caddy for his friends??? C'mon "mommy"! No self respecting teenaged guy is going to have a caddy. They carry their own clubs.

mommy

I certainly hope so. That would be the ultimate humiliation.<BR><BR>He will most likely be caddying for their parents, who are our friends.