What Jeff Foxworth says about Canadians
Feb 13th, 2008, 12:26 PM
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,149
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
What Jeff Foxworth says about Canadians
I'm not sure Jeff actually said these things but I can relate to some of them like making sure my kids Hallowe'en costumes fit over warm clothing:
A Little Canadian Humo(u)r,
Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canuckians
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,you may live in Canada.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada.
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend, you may live in Canada.
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada
If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada.
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,you may live in Canada.
If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you may live in Canada
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada.
If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Canadian friends & others, you definitely live in Canada
A Little Canadian Humo(u)r,
Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canuckians
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,you may live in Canada.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada.
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend, you may live in Canada.
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada
If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada.
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,you may live in Canada.
If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you may live in Canada
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada.
If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Canadian friends & others, you definitely live in Canada
Feb 13th, 2008, 03:58 PM
#3
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 198
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The one about "If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada" reminds me of the joke about how you can tell a Canadian from an American: Inform them it's 30 degrees out, and see whether they put on a parka or shorts.
Feb 13th, 2008, 04:11 PM
#4
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 916
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
"If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,you may live in Canada."
I found out a while ago that Dairy Queens were only open seasonally in Montreal, and it shocked me! The Dairy Queens in and around my neck of the woods (Vancouver) are open year round and as far back as I can remember. And I remember - I used to live next to one as a kid.
I found out a while ago that Dairy Queens were only open seasonally in Montreal, and it shocked me! The Dairy Queens in and around my neck of the woods (Vancouver) are open year round and as far back as I can remember. And I remember - I used to live next to one as a kid.
Feb 15th, 2008, 05:55 AM
#5
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 560
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Are you sure that Vancouver is really part of Canada?
Lots of those Foxworthy quotes fit here too as some of these leak over the border into northern Minnesota. I might have been the one that offered assistance in Home Depot.
Lots of those Foxworthy quotes fit here too as some of these leak over the border into northern Minnesota. I might have been the one that offered assistance in Home Depot.
Feb 18th, 2008, 07:44 AM
#9
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 3,220
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
almcd - Jeff Foxworthy is a comedian who takes on a country and western slant. He's known for his dialogue which begins: "You know you're a redneck if....
you have 5 cars in your yard and 3 of them don't work and 1 you can't see because of the grass
you talk to your kid about homewalk as you walk your kid to school because you're in the same grade!
etc."
you have 5 cars in your yard and 3 of them don't work and 1 you can't see because of the grass
you talk to your kid about homewalk as you walk your kid to school because you're in the same grade!
etc."
Feb 18th, 2008, 08:36 AM
#10
Original Poster
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,149
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
He's also the host of Smarter than a Fifth Grader or whatever it's called: http://www.fox.com/areyousmarter/bios/
Feb 19th, 2008, 12:24 PM
#11
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 593
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
> Inform them it's 30 degrees out, > and see whether they put on a
> parka or shorts
I suspect that joke pre-dates Canada moving to Celsius in the 1970s, but if it's 30C out, I'm definitely putting on shorts! But I guess I do show my nationality in that I consider 30F *way* too warm for a parka (I wouldn't wear shorts, but there is a guy in my town who wears shorts in weather much colder than that!)
> parka or shorts
I suspect that joke pre-dates Canada moving to Celsius in the 1970s, but if it's 30C out, I'm definitely putting on shorts! But I guess I do show my nationality in that I consider 30F *way* too warm for a parka (I wouldn't wear shorts, but there is a guy in my town who wears shorts in weather much colder than that!)
