The latest thread on tipping in Australia and New Zealand got me thinking, and I believe that I've uncovered the underlying emotional motivation for this practice.

Deep in our psyches, the delivery of food is associated with our mothers. Those of us who are mothers often believe that our sacrifices have been too little appreciated by our ungrateful offspring. Those of who aren't mothers nevertheless are often visited by the same guilty feeling. Voluntarily increasing the pay of waiting staff (of either sex) makes us feel better, because we have associated them with childhood memories of Mum putting our food on the table.

Americans are of course the undisputed international kings of tipping, and surely the association of "Mom" and "apple pie" as a synonym for Americanism has deep significance.

Of course it cuts both ways - many upstanding citizens feel that their mums are showing insufficient gratitude for the quality of the nice nursing home they've been consigned to, for instance. Others just resent having guilt trips laid on them. Neither of these groups are likely to be big tippers.

A related issue is the fact that nobody tips shop assistants in clothing stores. This is doubtless due to painful memories of being dragged around by Mum to buy new school clothing.

So, there you have it. If any post-graduate student out there is desperate for a PhD thesis topic, they're welcome to this one.

Cute.

Actually, I read an interesting article on tipping a while back. The person who wrote it was (I think) some "smart money" guy, and he said that he ALWAYS tips first (before the service is rendered). His logic is as follows:

Typically the patron of the restaurant waits to tip and HOPES for good service. Meanwhile the waiter (or waitress) provides service and HOPES for a good tip. Neither expectation is certain to be met. The author states that if you are willing to tip well for good service, then obviously it's worth the money to get the service - so... why not just give the tip first? He claims that this encourages the waiter/waitress to provide the good service that the author wants. He says he always tips well, he always tips first and he always gets good service.

Sounds pretty sensible really.

Ken

We spend some time in Florida in the winter and the minimum wage for wait staff rose on January 1/07 to $3.65 an hour. Might I suggest Neil that this has more to do with the expectation/assumption of a tip than any other reason? We find (increasingly) the service often lacks and figure who'd be happy working for three bucks an hour? But then again if the wait staff are indifferent or surly who feels like leaving 15-20% of the restaurant bill? Bit of a catch 22! I think the system in Australia where workers are paid for the job they are doing makes far more sense.

I am always confused about all the people that say they encounter surly and poor service in restaurants in the US. I have to truthfully say that in almost all cases I receive very pleasant and good service, especially as I sometimes have to discuss food I cannot eat due to food allergies.

But I sure agree that I strongly wish our servers in the US were paid a decent salary as they are in Australia so that the tipping situation wouldn't even be such a stressful event for a lot of people.

Neil, that was funny! As usual I love your sense of humour (or humor)..LOL!

Thanks, LoveItaly. For what it's worth, we received sub-par service only once during our last visit to the US. That was at the Old Faithful Inn in Yellowstone NP at the fag end of the season. The waitress was a Czech girl presumably doing summer work in the States, but her co-workers were just as bad - everyone had a couldn't-care-less attitude, including the cooks (rare buffalo steak I was prepared for, but mine practically trotted off the plate).

I wonder if this is something of a national park concession thing? We also had a surly, evil-tempered waitress at the Fairmont Inn in Lake Louise, Alberta - we were astonished that her manager kept her on, but then thoiught "maybe she IS the manager?" To be fair though the staff at the nearby Deer Lodge, also within the NP were fine.

Whatever, we had no other poor experiences at all in several weeks of travelling, including quite a few off-the-beaten-path places.

LordBalfor, that guy might be on to something. Looking back on our North American experiences I do suspect that quite a few waitstaff expected the worst when they heard our non-American/Canadian accents - several seemed pleasantly surprised when we handed over the regulation tip. Maybe we'd have got even better service if we'd handed over the tip up front.

Imagine my surprise when we visited an Albertsons supermarket somewhere in Idaho and saw a sign asking patrons NOT to tip staff for delivering purchases to one's car, as they were paid to do this. No need for such a sign in Australia, as you won't get your purchases delivered at all. Our supermarkets reckon it's character-forming for you to wheel your own trolley.

Hi Neil, yes we are truly spoiled with the service that our supermarkets provide regarding taking our purchases to our vehicles. And at least in my area the employees are not allowed to receive a tip.

The grumpiest and funniest waitress I can remember was some years ago. My husband and I during a work day arrived back in town after calling on an out of town client whose insurance we wrote. We were starving but didn't want to make a big fuss about lunch so we stopped at the local Denny's.

I ordered an ommelete which came with fried potatoes as well as toast. I was on a bit of a diet at the time so said "I will have the mushroom ommelete but I don't want the fried potatoes". Ms Grumpy waitress said "honey, we don't make substitutions". I said "oh no, I don't want to substitute the potatoes for anything else, I just don't want them". Ms Grumpy grabbed the menu and pointed to the bottom of the menu which stated "NO SUBSTITUTIONS". I again said, through gritted teeth " I DON'T want a substitution, I just DON'T want the potatoes thank you" and she again said "we DON'T make substitutions. Good grief!!!

My husband said "please just put the fried potatoes on a separate plate". Ms Grumpy said something like "well I guess we CAN do that!".

Oh sigh, anyway the potatoes were put on a small plate and we pushed the plate to the side.

The one and only time I remember my husband leaving a penny for the tip, lol.

Well, it probably is a subject for academia to tackle (probably already been done) as there are so many inconsistencies. We tip waiters, but not, as Neil says, shop assistants.

Some people tip taxi drivers. Some tip hairdressers (I've never been comfortable with this).

I think the answer goes like this:

How many people think of waitering as a long time career? It isn't is it? But taxi driving and hairdressing are.
It's what you do for a living.

Most waiters/waitresses are students or are doing it as a second job. And the hourly rate is terrible - you count on those tips to make it worth your while.

If you have never been a waiter/waitress you may see it differently. But I have, and so I always leave a tip unless the person was really surly - no matter what the country, or what the meal - even if it was just a cup of coffee.

Neil,
Personally I believe people tip because it makes them feel superior to the waitress/waiter/taxi driver etc etc.
Bit of a servant master thing I think.

Subsequently I don't ever tip as I feel first of all that I am no better than them, (ask Mrs Muck she will agree) and secondly they already get their salary for doing the job.

Thirdly, unscrupulous employers take tips into account when paying salaries. If no one tips; the salaries would have to increase (extract taken from Muckies MBA law of economics ;-) )

I feel a courtious "thank you" is more meaningful and shows my gratitude (IMHO) far more than a few coins ever would.

However there has been research.
Just did a search through my University library and found this article.

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/be390fbe-a89...00e2511c8.html

I was a trifle concerned at the sentence "The economics of tipping is rendered even more complex by Lynn's scientific study of hotel bellboys"

Less said the better I think !! ;-)

Interesting subject.

Muck

Interetsing perspective, Mucky. The master-servant thing also came up in a debate on the Europe forum, from memory, and certainly could be a factor with some people. Australians and New Zealanders of course pride themselves on being highly egalitarian.

I don't hold fanatical views on this topic, but I would be concerned that if tipping caught on to the extent that waiters started making a sizable chunk of their income that way, employers could use that to start chipping away at Australian minimum pay conditions that took a century to build up. I happen to think that they're a good thing and contribute to employees' sense of dignity.

I must say I found China congenial. Nobody (except tourists) tips there - the Chinese consider "giving away free money" a form of mental disturbance. Also, it's acceptable and even polite to sit up front with the cabbie, something else to make an Australian feel at home. Well, sort of at home. The other GREAT thing: as few if any Chinese cabbies speak any English, there's no way they can deliver a political rant, or bore you senseless with sports news, in sign language. Of course their Chinese customers aren't so lucky.

Reminds me of one of my favorite "bits of wisdom":

"Someone who is nice to YOU, but not nice to the waiter, is NOT a nice person".

Very true words in my opinion. You can tell a great deal about a person by observing how he treats those that wait on him.

Ken

has anyone ever eaten in Durgan Park in Boston where I am sure the waitresses were paid to be surly

part of the floorshow and the food was good

A/D