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May 21st, 2009, 02:52 AM
  #201  
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,121
This morning there was another 'Sign'.

I was woken up by a man delivering the largest fruit basket I've ever seen, together with a note.

'Please give me apologies for my team.'

So I said I was very sorry.

This sign was the product of a misplaced room service order two nights ago.

'Where is my food?' I demanded at midnight.

Strangled silence.

'What time did I place this order?'

I could feel the blood dripping on the other end of the line. More silence.

A tiny voice answered...

'Ten twenty p.m.'

'What time is it now?'

Well, you know the rest.

Room service arrived with a breathless flurry, a complimentary icecream and such a heartfelt apology I couldn't bring myself to be angry.

'It was my fault,' the guy said, bowing deep. 'I forgot your order.'

He was about to sink to his knees and touch his forehead to my feet. I stopped him.

'You are a man. I am a man. We all make mistakes,' I said as seriously as I could muster. 'This matter is finished now.'

We do all make mistakes, don't we? I very much liked the fact that he was completely without guile - no lies, no blaming everybody else. He copped it on the chin.

I copped the fruit basket.

Fair exchange.

Now, how to eat one thousand pieces of tropical fruit between now and check-out tomorrow morning?
dogster is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 03:07 AM
  #202  
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,121
I managed my wandering today without pain. Slowly. My task was to go where I had never been, as long as it was within the agony barrier.

There is an old Australian custom, long forgotten, called the 'progressive dinner'. This used to involve going from house to house for one course at each. Kinda like dim sum, but sitting at a different table for each plate.

So today I had a progressive breakfast, lunch and soon, dinner. So many restaurants - so little time.

The reason for my many massages, Jaya, is not [as Mang might think] a search for the perfect happy ending. It's been a search for someone to press the right button and make my leg work. Without being too vulgar, the button is somewhere about my nether regions, hence the choice of the male masseur.

I can scarcely go to one of the many thousand gloriously petite female massoozies and ask for them to poke around in places best left unmentioned. Well, I could, but that is asking for misunderstanding.

You see, I've been reflecting on those old, old men and their young, young girlfriends. Today a thousand more.

One passed by my table, hand in hand with his lass. He was bald, with a monk's fringe surrounding his pate. She was about twelve, or so it looked to me.

The table next door did the talking for me. They noticed him too.

'He's sixty-five,' they said to his retreating back.

'And he loves her...'
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May 21st, 2009, 03:11 AM
  #203  
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,121
But yesterday's massage man hit the spot. Poor chap. His fingers have probably fallen off by now.

So today, I can walk again.

Tomorrow I will fly.
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May 21st, 2009, 05:21 AM
  #204  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 24,489
"I think, thursday, that you are a very wise woman. " Wow. Just wow. Alas, no.

I await news of your permanent move to somewhere other than Melbourne! But I won't hold my breath, I've been awaiting my own permanent move for several years. And I was thinking that if I make it back to Australia I should visit Melbourne...

Very glad you got the leg fixed - have fun in SR.
thursdaysd is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 05:36 AM
  #205  
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 11,334
dog,

When I was a teenager, we had one of those progressive dinners for my French Club. Dessert was a MY house. It was loads of fun, as I recall.

To where do you fly?

Carol
simpsonc510 is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 07:21 AM
  #206  
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,281
Lol, Dogster- I don't assume you go for the happy ending. I'm jut going for shock value.. Making people squirm in their computer chair is one of the things that give me pleasure. Yes, I do need to get out more, lol.
Mango7 is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 07:21 AM
  #207  
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,121
Carol, you just got over-excited at the long-lost idea of the progressive dinner and didn't read the fine print. It isn't hard to work out where I'm going from the many clues scattered above... so I'll leave that enigma to you.

thursday: I'm so pleased my compliment was well received. I've been giving a LOT of thought to becoming expatriate. It's only my long term relationships with my doctor, accountant, bank and dentist that keep me there these days.

My few remaining friends are so self-absorbed, old, drug-addled or drunk they wouldn't notice whether I was there or not. Alas, this relentless travel has rather removed me from social life in Bleak City. When one spends 3/4 of the time in countries they have barely heard of, doing things they are not interested in, things kinda fall away.

'Overseas' is a strange and threatening place to people who think they live in 'The Greatest Country In The World'. 'Why would you go? they say. I don't bother to reply these days. Things get fairly settled, it appears, when one reaches one's late [very late] Fifties. It's time to reduce the stimulation, huddle in the bunker and wait for death. Kinda like the Azamara Quest.

Me? I'm a loose unit in the machine. They don't get it. 'Twas ever thus.
dogster is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 07:48 AM
  #208  
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,121
Living in Central World Shopping Centre is a bewildering experience. The younger generation of Thais - which seems to be 95% of the population - have embraced The Shock Of The New with a vengeance. This old Dog, like his bretheren in Australia, needs a few points of constancy to keep him just this side of bewilderment.

No chance of that in Central World. It's a vast maze of shopping and food, a multi-layered puzzle where the rules keep changing. Someone is getting very rich indeed from the never-ending flood of promotions and display.

The only way I can work out where I am most of the time is to locate myself by the visual clues. The trouble is, every night a horde of invisible event managers come in a take them away. The next morning everything looks totally different. Dogster gets lost again.

For three days now I've been wandering around, trying to find the way out. I stumbled across one of the exits yesterday. Someone had built a war zone, complete with men in helmets firing paint guns at each other from behind burnt out cars. A man was doing handstands on the back of his moving motorbike. Hundred of Terminator crazy youths were having a great time. This morning it was gone, replaced by The Colusseum.

The Colusseum is two stories high made entirely of Heineken beer cans, staffed by a bevy of beautiful maidens clad in luminous green evening dresses- well, kinda. Imagine if someone had taken your favorite ball gown and cut it in half, then draped the remaining shreds over white tights. They reminded me of attractive green goblins.

For no apparent reason they were playing the Manchester United Football Club song very loudly.

'Glory, glory Man United..
Glory, glory Man United...'

I got very confused.
dogster is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 08:02 AM
  #209  
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,121
So I went back inside.

There was a concert going on. A young, handsome Thai lad was singing young, handsome Thai pop songs to a huge crowd of young, not very handsome, Thai schoolgirls. They were screaming and holding up signs that said: 'KEE'.

I didn't know what meant either, nor could I understand a word of what was going on, but they all having such a good time that I did too.

I was waiting for my new Daniel Hechter shirt collection to be ironed, ready for immediate attachment. Yes Jaya, the dhobi-wallahs destroyed another collection. The latest four cost just $25 each. Summer Sales.

Daniel Hechter will confuse the hustlers in India. They only know Tommy Helfinger. When one steps out with Tommy on one's shoulders, complete with his discrete logo on the nipple, one is a target .

'He is a rich man,' they say, eyes glued on the logo - just before they strike.
dogster is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 08:43 AM
  #210  
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,281
I too am eyeing Thailand as a "retirement" destination, Dogster. Maybe a summer home in Orange County, CA.

Btw, sorry if I insulted you in my previous post, Dogster. It was all in jest.

Mango
Mango7 is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 09:12 AM
  #211  
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,121
Insult? Nah-h-h Mang. Not remotely. You can say anything you like to me. I know where you're coming from. Gawd - it takes a lot to offend me on matters of the flesh. I've been such a naughty lad in my time I could scarcely take umbrage at pretty much ANYTHING.

I'm trying to think what WOULD offend me. I'm a blank. I'll think about it on the plane tomorrow.

But I don't think I'd pick Thailand. Maybe Sri Lanka. I could be the new Arthur C. Clarke.

Hmmm, on second thoughts maybe not Arthur seeing as he was a celebrated bugger - and I do mean that in the Biblical sense.
But I shouldn't speak ill of the dead. You get the idea. Sri Lanka is India-lite. I could settle in Galle and have house-boys and a sweet Mama to cook for me. I like that idea.

My accountant says I should just stay in boutique hotels for ever - it'll be more cost effective than buying property. I think he's probably right.
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May 21st, 2009, 09:49 AM
  #212  
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 11,334
OK, dog, I know where you are headed. But I thought you were already THERE, until I read about the Centara.

You really should go by the Pickled Liver on soi 11 and meet Maeng!!! What will it take..... ??

Carol
simpsonc510 is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 10:14 AM
  #213  
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,121
Probably a new leg Carol. All my activities in BKK have been predicated on minimum walking this time. Hence the Centala.
It truly is like having a kennel in Heaven.

But remember, apropos Pickled Livers, Dogster is The Ghost Who Walks. He must not be seen. Maeng will gossip and you'll all find out I'm really an elderly lady with a facial tic and rather peculiar personal habits.
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May 21st, 2009, 10:29 AM
  #214  
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,281
Good- I'm glad you're not slighted, Dogster.

I think your accountant is right. You'll always be in modern/new surroundings with the boutique hotels. + you won't tire of having the same place situated in the same part of town. Keeps things fresh I would think.

I would love to visit some of the places you've been, Dogster. The wife and I feel lost at where we should go in the future. Which areas of Asia are your absolute favorites?
We were considering VN, Cambodia in conjunction with Thailand next. India seems too chaotic, but what do you think? Wish I could email you sometime!

Mango
Mango7 is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 10:51 AM
  #215  
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,121
Mang, I think you were sent your very own 'Sign' last time. Listen to it. Break the routine. Maybe it's only fear that is making you feel lost as to alternatives - and there ain't nothing to fear Mang, but fear itself.

I forgot who said that originally. Reflect upon that while I finish packing and sleep. It's late here and I'm up at sparrow's fart [for me]. You'd like Pandaw cruises, I think. Go see. Vietnam, Cambodia, India, Burma... easy.
Dive into the website.

www.pandaw.com
dogster is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 11:56 AM
  #216  
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,895
That sounds like the perfect life traveling from boutique hotel to boutique hotel and maybe with the occasional lux hotel thrown in for a spluge. I'm trying to manage a bit of this life right now with, hopefully, more to come.
moremiles is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 01:25 PM
  #217  
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,281
Thank you, Dogster. Yes, you felt my fear indeed. Will check the site out..Happy Trails.

Mango
Mango7 is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 01:36 PM
  #218  
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 11,334
"But remember, apropos Pickled Livers, Dogster is The Ghost Who Walks. He must not be seen. Maeng will gossip and you'll all find out I'm really an elderly lady with a facial tic and rather peculiar personal habits."

LOL! I won't tell a soul if that's who you really are... and neither will Maeng... wink, wink

Enjoy your trip.

Carol
simpsonc510 is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 01:56 PM
  #219  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 24,489
"It's only my long term relationships with my doctor, accountant, bank and dentist that keep me there these days." - pretty tenuous ties there, dogster! I have an image of a dogster-shaped balloon, attached to Melbourne by a fraying cord, floating towards Asia... (I think it may be time for a drink!)
thursdaysd is offline  
May 21st, 2009, 10:47 PM
  #220  
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,121
This post is longer than the Bible - minus ALL the wisdom.

So, with your permission, Marija, let's celebrate Dogster's abrupt change of direction with a new one.

But I want you to forgive me if I begin it with a small rewrite about my 'Sign'. Not everybody has slogged through all 2,000 posts here and it's a good way to start. O.K.?

Coming soon: Dogster: Live from Siem Reap [Again]
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