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THE LOVE BOAT

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Jul 14th, 2010, 06:57 PM
  #1
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THE LOVE BOAT

In a feeble effort to get some order into proceedings, let me begin this post.

For those not following the story hidden in various postings, a number of idiot Fododderers have come up with the idea of embarking on a river cruise, somewhere, sometime in Asia. It will be a fight to the death, open to all-comers intent on having a really dreadful time.

Come one, come all. .Life-rafts will be available for those who feel a medical evacuation is the only method of escape. Secret lurkers are especially welcome. Just because you like to watch doesn't mean you can't join in the fun and frolics on the low seas.

In a disciplined attempt to grasp hold of this ephemeral concept let me be the first to clearly state the options. Read on.
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Jul 14th, 2010, 07:04 PM
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Maria:
Let's start at the very beginning
A very good place to start
When you read you begin with

ABC

Maria:
When you sing you begin with duh...


http://www.nothingbutrandom.com/what...i-flash-dance/

Well, I think that's got us in the right mood...
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Jul 14th, 2010, 07:13 PM
  #3
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Inspiring eh? This is what we are aiming for...

Now, down to the options:

MEKONG RIVER CRUISE [in no perticular order]

Pandaw Cruises:
www.pandaw.com
www.pandaw.com/mekong-c-23.html

La Marguerite:
www.indochina-sails.com
www.indochina-sails.com/?a=saigon

Jayarvarman:
www.heritage-line.com
http://www.heritage-line.com/8d7nthe...eam.php?lan=en
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Jul 14th, 2010, 07:16 PM
  #4
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UPPER MEKONG:
www.cruisemekong.com
www.cruisemekong.com/cruise-dates-rates
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Jul 14th, 2010, 07:22 PM
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ok dog, count me in...i think.
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Jul 14th, 2010, 07:24 PM
  #6
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Of course, there are a number of others that do shorter cruises - 2/3 day wanders thru the Delta. I'll omit these right now, knowing that elderly Fododderers can only cope with as many options as they have toes.

BURMA RIVER CRUISES:

Pandaw [again]
dogster on Jul 15, 10 at 9:13am
Inspiring eh? This is what we are aiming for...

Now, down to the options:

MEKONG RIVER CRUISE [in no perticular order]

Pandaw Cruises:
www.pandaw.com
www.pandaw.com/myanmar-c-22.html

Orient Express: The Road to Mandalay
http://www.orient-express.com/web/rt...o_mandalay.jsp
www.orient-express.com/web/rtm/journeys.jsp

Pandaw 1947:
www.pandaw1947.com
http://www.pandaw1947.com/index.php?...id=72&Itemid=3
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Jul 14th, 2010, 07:28 PM
  #7
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Of course I've managed to screw this up already. Ignore the repeated words above between [again] and MEKONG RIVER CRUISE

Already I can feel confused Fod'dods reaching for the panic button. Just count those toes and calm down.
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Jul 14th, 2010, 07:29 PM
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Thanks for all the links. I find myself most interested in the Upper Mekong cruises. Those seem to be the smallest boats, so I would think we could easily fill a boat. I notice they also talk abut the option of chartering a whole boat.
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Jul 14th, 2010, 07:32 PM
  #9
 
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OK... I'm curious. Write on!
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Jul 14th, 2010, 07:35 PM
  #10
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INDIA RIVER CRUISES

AssamBengal Navigation Co.
www.assambengalnavigation.com
ASSAM:
http://assambengalnavigation.com/cruises.htm
WEST BENGAL:
http://assambengalnavigation.com/bengal_cruises.htm

In the interests of correctness, I must add this shonky operation:

GANGES
www.thegangescruise.com
www.thegangescruise.com/ganges_itinerary.html
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Jul 14th, 2010, 07:54 PM
  #11
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Mr. Dogster has personally sampled the following:

BURMA:
Orient Express:
GORGES OF THE FAR NORTH
11 Nights - Mandalay-Bhamo-Bagan
IMAGES OF A GOLDEN LAND
4 Nights - Bagan-Mandalay [twice - up and down]
Pandaw
NEW GOLDEN LAND:
8 nights from Mandalay to Prome [twice - up and down]
CHINDWIN & Upper Irrawaddy:
20 nights in remotest Burma [Only Chindwin 14 days]

INDIA
Assam Bengal
BENGAL DESPATCH 2 & 4 - THE HOLY GANGES [both - up and down]
ASSAM DESPATCH 4 - BRAHMAPUTRA MAXIMUM
ASSAM DESPATCH 7 - BRAHMAPUTRA TASTER
Pandaw [now defunct]
KOLKATA - VARANASI
hollow laughter...

MEKONG
Pandaw
MEKONG EXPLORATION
between Saigon and Siem Reap or v.v. [twice - up and down]

tomorrow he is about to go on
Jayarvarman
THE LOST CIVILIZATION
Saigon - Siem Reap (8 Days/7 Nights upstream)

as well as some others not in consideration here [Luang Say, Sunderbans and one other I forgot. He will leave out the three P.N.G. Sepic cruises, as well as the two to New England and the Trobriands.
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Jul 14th, 2010, 07:56 PM
  #12
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So - have fun with the links. Discuss.
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Jul 14th, 2010, 09:04 PM
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will the boat have a swimming pool?

how long is the cocktail hour?

will there be a cage for gpanda and bamboo?

will there be strong locks on cabin doors to escape from the dreaded fodorite who wants to talk your ears off, etc....

will we invite any fodors.com editors to join the trip?

who will be in charge? other than the captain...

will a doctor be on board? or will we rely on kathie?

do we have assigned tables and/or seats for meals? or is there a method for rotation of seating partners?

will there be enough deck chairs so that everyone can have one or must we get up before dawn and put our dawn rooney guide on the chair we want?

will peanut butter be available?

does the cruise qualify for any frequent flyer points?

is prune juice served chilled?

will the real dogster be aboard?

will escrunchy be allowed to leave the ship whenever she wants no matter whether she has the correct papers or not?

is there a money back guarantee? does the fare cover med evac?

and lastly can you guarantee that the river will have enough water for this overweighted ship or boat?
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Jul 14th, 2010, 09:13 PM
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Is there official on-board entertainment...other tahn watching the otehr passengers?
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Jul 14th, 2010, 09:18 PM
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will the boat have a swimming pool?

no but they can tie you to a rope and drag you for an hour or so.

how long is the cocktail hour?
the whole cruise

will there be a cage for gpanda and bamboo?
yes but they will only say that he has a stateroom when taking his res

will there be strong locks on cabin doors to escape from the dreaded fodorite who wants to talk your ears off, etc....
sorry, no locks

will we invite any fodors.com editors to join the trip?


who will be in charge? other than the captain...
Cap'n Dogster of course!

will a doctor be on board? or will we rely on kathie?
Nurse, nurse please!

do we have assigned tables and/or seats for meals? or is there a method for rotation of seating partners?
duck, duck, duck, duck, goose!

someone else take the rest

Aloha!
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Jul 14th, 2010, 10:01 PM
  #16
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I'll just let the children chatter away amongst themselves. I can see we'll have to have a caged section of the boat. We can throw cold chips in to feed them.

First we have to decide which country.

Second, the level of comfort required.

Third, the length of trip.

Fourth, the time of year.

Fifth, the degree of adventure.

I'd imagine that coming to a consensus on those four topics should tie this board up for at least six months. However, a consensus on any one of these topics reduces the options to a manageable size. Remember, he/she who is the loudest is not necessarily the wisest. A complete lack of experience of river cruises is not necessarily an asset when making pronouncements. The only thing to fear is fear itself.

This would be a very good opportunity to jump a little out of the comfort zone, knowing that you wouldn't be the only one upstream without a paddle - hence my addition of the India cruises. Imagine, for example, Dogster's guided tour of Kolkata...

I can see you all running screaming for the hills. Settle down.

The easiest option, by far, with the most available options, is the Mekong from Saigon to Siem Reap. I have the distinct feeling that the Jayarvarman might be the best option. Look at those cabins...

www.heritage-line.com/cabin_photos.php?lan=en

compared with Pandaw:
http://www.pandaw.com/ships-pandaw-s...m-c-71_76.html
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Jul 14th, 2010, 10:05 PM
  #17
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The most adventurous options are either the Chindwin in Burma, the Hoogli in West Bengal or the Brahmaputra in Assam.

Alas, I can't speak to the Upper Mekong cruises. That line is rather a mystery to me - and to anyone else, judging by the complete lack of information on the net - always a worrying sign.
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Jul 14th, 2010, 10:21 PM
  #18
 
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I'll go if the boat has a casino.
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Jul 15th, 2010, 02:00 AM
  #19
 
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Will peanut butter be available -
NO - just vegemite.
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Jul 15th, 2010, 05:00 AM
  #20
 
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Where do we sign up for Cap'n Dog's riproaring river ride?
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