Answers to travel questions about India ---actual responses by the website editors with a sense of humor!


Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into India? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/ gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Q: Can I see the Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.

Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper (we have different grades) .

Lol!!! Nice collection, Jaya.

Great Jaya - bet there are a million more too!

I'm sure there are a million more too - just from Dogster alone probably! Hopefully he'll re-surface soon and add a few.

Good collection, Jaya....did you say this comes from Fodor editors?

Funny.

Somehow I seem to have missed these posts.
Thanks for bringing them out for us.

Great to start off my week laughing, Jaya - thanks for posting.

Lol, thanks for a morning chuckle.

These are not from Fodor's, but from an Indian travel site.

Glad you all enjoyed them.

ttt

How wonderful! I'm glad all the stupid questions didn't come from Americans --- we are a naive lot . . .

Speak for yourself indiana

Fantastic!