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The final word on any question about India!

The final word on any question about India!

Old Mar 21st, 2009, 02:21 PM
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The final word on any question about India!

Answers to travel questions about India ---actual responses by the website editors with a sense of humor!


Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into India? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/ gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Q: Can I see the Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.

Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper (we have different grades) .
Jaya is offline  
Old Mar 21st, 2009, 04:15 PM
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Lol!!! Nice collection, Jaya.
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Old Mar 21st, 2009, 04:28 PM
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Great Jaya - bet there are a million more too!
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Old Mar 22nd, 2009, 05:20 AM
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I'm sure there are a million more too - just from Dogster alone probably! Hopefully he'll re-surface soon and add a few.
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Old Mar 22nd, 2009, 10:06 PM
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Good collection, Jaya....did you say this comes from Fodor editors?

Funny.

Somehow I seem to have missed these posts.
Thanks for bringing them out for us.
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Old Mar 23rd, 2009, 01:48 AM
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Great to start off my week laughing, Jaya - thanks for posting.
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Old Mar 23rd, 2009, 11:26 AM
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Lol, thanks for a morning chuckle.
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Old Mar 24th, 2009, 05:44 AM
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These are not from Fodor's, but from an Indian travel site.

Glad you all enjoyed them.
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Old May 13th, 2009, 10:14 AM
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ttt
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Old May 23rd, 2009, 02:54 PM
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How wonderful! I'm glad all the stupid questions didn't come from Americans --- we are a naive lot . . .
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Old May 23rd, 2009, 03:06 PM
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Speak for yourself indiana
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Old May 24th, 2009, 10:25 AM
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Fantastic!
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