Eekthecat

Ok! Heres one for all you budding Dr Phils in Fodor land!

Where I come from its acceptable to greet people with a kiss on the cheek when you meet them and when you part.

In asia, do you suggest doing the same is it not appropriate?

I'm off to a big wedding and not to sure what the norm is...

thanks

Eek [I'm a guy]=)

Thoughts guys?

Peteralan

I would say probably not. I did kiss a Thai friend when we left after having stayed in her home and travelled around with her family for a week or so. She looked a little surprised but my Thai friend said to her " Its what farangs do" and she was ok with it. In general I don't think it would be appropriate especially when you first meet. Interesting to hear what others say.

Guenmai

Where in Asia are you talking about? In Thailand, I wouldn't kiss anyone on the cheek. I have close Thai friends and one hugs since she did live in L.A. for some months and is used to it, but the other never hugs. I can't imagine kissing someone on the cheeks in Thailand for example. One day while at the internet cafe, a French man went up to a female Thai employee and grabbed her and kissed her on both cheeks for helping him out with something. She obviously did not appreciate the gesture. Happy Travels!

lcuy

I wouldn't. Most Asians don't hug either. Handshakes, bows or wais are more appropriate unless you know them really well.

Cicerone

I know from your other posts that the wedding is in KL. Generally, Malays do not kiss in greeting, especially not between sexes. (This is generally true of Asians overall; but you sometimes see men each other in greeting like the Middle Eastern custom.) They have a really beautiful handshake greeting in which they shake hands and then take their right hand to their heart, it has some meaning like “taking you into my heart” or something. However, it is not at all unusual for a woman, especially an older woman, to not shake hands with a man at all. A lot would depend on the age of the people and how traveled they are. I would not kiss anyone unless you know them very, very well. When you met a woman, let her take the lead, if she extends her hand, then shake it, otherwise, just nod your head. Do not be surprised if older women do not opt to shake your hand. Men will generally shake another man’s hand.

If the crowd has younger people who have traveled or have been educated aboard, then you may see a lot of kissing among that group, but I don’t think they will be kissing you upon meeting you...again let the women take the initiative. If there are Europeans there, I don’t think the women are going to be kissing you hello immediately upon meeting you, even that is not done in Europe in my experience.

marmot

Eek, I think as a general statement Asias (North/South/East/West) would prefer NOT to be kissed or hugged in greeting. A handshake is usually appropriate except among the most conservative, either due to age or religious preference, who may choose to avoid any physical contact. Just follow the other person's lead. In Japan and Korea you may bow slightly. In Islamic countries you may touch your heart.

A Hong Kong Chinese woman who had traveled quite a bit to the U.S., primarily to New York City, told me that she and her colleagues were always horrified at the prospect of the Western style embrace and air kiss. Because the Asians were considerably shorter than the Americans they ended up being smutched at eyelevel into what were from their unfortunate perspective some enormous bosoms.

jenskar

Our experience in Asia (and we're huggy kind of people) has been that people don't hug and I didn't see cheek kissing. You're going to a wedding with some guest familiarity but ... others have weighed in on that.
In Thailand, several of our guest service people were so special we took the step forward to hug them instinctively, saw the look on the faces, stepped back, smiled and giggled.
In Singapore, our guest service gal hugged us when we left.
The Bali Aga grandma I bought a double ikat panel from in Tenganan kissed both my husband and I on the cheek. She also blessed us. We were very surprised by that. We did bargain rather hard as double ikat is expensive so I don't think it was just the cash.
I think my general rule in Asia has come to be, don't instigate. Watch and see what seems appropriate and follow their lead.

W9London

Eek,

Absolutely no kissing and hugging, please, unless you're the mother of the bride or the groom. Just follow what the others are doing.

It could be something to do with social order (senior/junior hierarchy) and keeping proper inter-person distance (I do get annoyed when someone behind you in a queue stands so close by). ...or it could be sticky hot and humid weather in Southest Asia or kimchee-and-garlic breath in Korea.

Another thing... I thought wai (the hands-in-prayer-form with curtsey) was a universal Asian thing, but was reminded it is not done in Japan/HK/Korea/China. Stick to bowing and handshakes.

Eekthecat

Thanks to all for your feedback.

I will be on my best behaviour in SE Asia I promise!

NOOOO touching unless some one touches me first =)

Thanks to all

Eek

harsha

This is a common gesture practically all over asia.As most of the religions in asia are derivatives of Hinduism, this practice is prevelant in these countries(ofcourse with minor variations).
NAMASTHE is the most popular Hindu greeting performed by pressing two hands together and holding them near the heart with the head gently bowed as one says, " NAMASTHE". The actual gesture of holding both hands together is known as ANJALI MUDRA. The word ANJALI came from the root word ANJ meaning "to honor or anoint". NAMASTHE is also called NAMASKRA MUDRA in Hindu scriptures. So, you will hear people telling each other NAMASKRAM in Indian languages such as in Malayalam.

There is great symbolism behind this gesture. Both hands depict duality in nature like YIN & YANG or positive and negative forces. Bringing them together a Hindu affirms the fact that THE WORLD IS ONE IN NATURE, EVEN THOUGH WE SEE AS TWO, LIKE MAN & WOMAN, NIGHT AND DAY, HOT AND COLD ETC.

The whole act of Namasthe communicates to the world, YOU AND I ARE ONE. I SALUTE YOU AND HONOR THE GOD WITHIN YOU, WHICH IS A MIRROR IMAGE OF MYSELF.

In Sanskrit language, the word NAMAS means to bow in respectful salutation. TE means to you. So in a nutshell, NAMASTHE means I BOW TO THE GOD WITHIN YOU.

Well, 'Namasthe' is purely Indian.
Similarly the word may vary from country to country & culture to culture.This would be I guess the best,safest (you'll not be hurting sentiments)& the most accepted.

jbtan

Yes, Eekthecat, you should keep your lips and hands to yourself when in Asia. I'm an Asian gal and even though I'm the hugging type, 99% of my friends aren't. They would be shocked to get a kiss on their cheeks. Get the smelling salts quick So, no pecks on the cheek unless you're entertaining romantic thoughts with that person. No kidding... We're that conservative, still!

I have former co-workers who knew each other forever, meet at least 3 times per year and they shake hands whenever they meet. Gee...

Eekthecat

Thanks JBtan

I just hope no thinks who that distant unapproachable foreigner is!!! he doesnt even kiss on the cheeks!! how rude!!

haaha

Eek =)