Dogster: Devil Dog in Darjeeling
Nov 15th, 2008, 06:22 PM
#21
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‘Sanjay,’ I said expansively, ‘you are a man who loves women. Am I right on that point, my friend?’
We were standing outside, looking up at the lights of Darjeeling, twinkling tiny up on that far hill. We stood on the edge of a great valley. Away over there were the Himalayas, black against a darker black in the sky. We were drunk.
‘I am that. I agree.’
‘You’re a man who sees them as your natural god-given right, to enjoy, to appreciate, to adore. Am I right?
‘You are right.’
Dogster was swaying, waving one arm broadly at the valley.
‘Then, my friend, you must go out and taste. You have no option. It is built into your soul. You must pick up that first flush and take a sip, sluice her round in your mouth, my friend, taste her – spit her out. Try the next, sip, sip, slurp and spit – then the next...’
Dogster was warming to his theme. He couldn’t done a few more taste testings before he had concluded his speech but he was slurring; ‘sip, slurp and spit’ were proving difficult to say. They came out as ‘slit, spurp and sit.’ It was time for Dogster to shut up and look distinguished.
Sanjay saved the day.
‘You are a truly wise man, Mr. Dogster,’ he gushed.
He was quite right of course. I felt like his evil Uncle. My thoughts turned to good deeds.
‘I’m wondering why then, my randy friend, you haven’t given some thought to slipping our Miss Christine the Sanjay Sausage? She’s a woman. She’s got two breasts and whatever it is else you find attractive. That should be enough for you, surely?
He took a breath, as if to speak, then thought better of it. Dogster could tell he’d struck a nerve.
We were standing outside, looking up at the lights of Darjeeling, twinkling tiny up on that far hill. We stood on the edge of a great valley. Away over there were the Himalayas, black against a darker black in the sky. We were drunk.
‘I am that. I agree.’
‘You’re a man who sees them as your natural god-given right, to enjoy, to appreciate, to adore. Am I right?
‘You are right.’
Dogster was swaying, waving one arm broadly at the valley.
‘Then, my friend, you must go out and taste. You have no option. It is built into your soul. You must pick up that first flush and take a sip, sluice her round in your mouth, my friend, taste her – spit her out. Try the next, sip, sip, slurp and spit – then the next...’
Dogster was warming to his theme. He couldn’t done a few more taste testings before he had concluded his speech but he was slurring; ‘sip, slurp and spit’ were proving difficult to say. They came out as ‘slit, spurp and sit.’ It was time for Dogster to shut up and look distinguished.
Sanjay saved the day.
‘You are a truly wise man, Mr. Dogster,’ he gushed.
He was quite right of course. I felt like his evil Uncle. My thoughts turned to good deeds.
‘I’m wondering why then, my randy friend, you haven’t given some thought to slipping our Miss Christine the Sanjay Sausage? She’s a woman. She’s got two breasts and whatever it is else you find attractive. That should be enough for you, surely?
He took a breath, as if to speak, then thought better of it. Dogster could tell he’d struck a nerve.
Nov 15th, 2008, 06:22 PM
#22
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‘Why not show her the path to eternal satisfaction, Sanjay? Give her something to measure young limp-dick by?’
Sanjay hooted with laughter.
‘He’s an O.K. guy.’
‘I never said he wasn’t.’ I was warming to my theme. ‘You might give him an out. Why not? Taste the tea? Why not try every variety? You could change his life, my friend, alter his existence, just by the brief application of the Sanjay Saveloy!’
I could tell that, just for a drunken moment, he was giving it thought.
‘Go on,’ said Satan. ‘Give him a break.’
I felt like the devil. Maybe I was. I was bored. That’s when the devil-dog comes out. He’ll say anything to anybody with not a care in the world. He’s best at asking leading questions. He’s a ‘so when did you stop beating your wife’ kinda guy.
‘Go on – just to see if you could...’
This was the nub. For him this wasn’t about women and their fascinating allure. Like many randy men he probably didn’t care for them at all. He needed them, but he didn’t like them. All his gush and blather, his manners and obvious style were weapons in Sanjay’s daily battle; to get his women where he wanted them, under his control.
It wasn’t even about the deed itself. This was nothing to do with sex. Sex was the rocket fuel, but it wasn’t the spark that fired the motor. This was about power. This was about the challenge. This was about the kill.
The prey in question were sitting inside, silent by the fire.
‘Up to you, young Sanjay...’
‘Mmm-m-m-m,’ he said.
The chase was on.
Sanjay hooted with laughter.
‘He’s an O.K. guy.’
‘I never said he wasn’t.’ I was warming to my theme. ‘You might give him an out. Why not? Taste the tea? Why not try every variety? You could change his life, my friend, alter his existence, just by the brief application of the Sanjay Saveloy!’
I could tell that, just for a drunken moment, he was giving it thought.
‘Go on,’ said Satan. ‘Give him a break.’
I felt like the devil. Maybe I was. I was bored. That’s when the devil-dog comes out. He’ll say anything to anybody with not a care in the world. He’s best at asking leading questions. He’s a ‘so when did you stop beating your wife’ kinda guy.
‘Go on – just to see if you could...’
This was the nub. For him this wasn’t about women and their fascinating allure. Like many randy men he probably didn’t care for them at all. He needed them, but he didn’t like them. All his gush and blather, his manners and obvious style were weapons in Sanjay’s daily battle; to get his women where he wanted them, under his control.
It wasn’t even about the deed itself. This was nothing to do with sex. Sex was the rocket fuel, but it wasn’t the spark that fired the motor. This was about power. This was about the challenge. This was about the kill.
The prey in question were sitting inside, silent by the fire.
‘Up to you, young Sanjay...’
‘Mmm-m-m-m,’ he said.
The chase was on.
Nov 15th, 2008, 06:23 PM
#23
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‘We can get you out tomorrow,’ Sanjay said with a smile.
The GNLF had announced a six-hour breather, a relaxation in the strike so people could stock up for the long bandh ahead.
‘No, we can’t,’ he said an hour later.
Despite the breather, cars were not allowed on the road.
‘Pack your bags!’ he announced early one morning.
‘Stop packing!’ he shouted ten minutes later. ‘It’s back on!’
It continued like this.
‘What’s the news?’ was my greeting as I saw him each day.
He’d report, report back, then back again as events changed.
‘It’s off!’
‘It’s back on,’ he’d say between mobile phone calls.
‘It might be lifted sometime soon.’
‘I don’t know,’ became a stock reply.
I relaxed. I had no option.
The GNLF had announced a six-hour breather, a relaxation in the strike so people could stock up for the long bandh ahead.
‘No, we can’t,’ he said an hour later.
Despite the breather, cars were not allowed on the road.
‘Pack your bags!’ he announced early one morning.
‘Stop packing!’ he shouted ten minutes later. ‘It’s back on!’
It continued like this.
‘What’s the news?’ was my greeting as I saw him each day.
He’d report, report back, then back again as events changed.
‘It’s off!’
‘It’s back on,’ he’d say between mobile phone calls.
‘It might be lifted sometime soon.’
‘I don’t know,’ became a stock reply.
I relaxed. I had no option.
Nov 15th, 2008, 06:23 PM
#24
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This wasn’t such a bad place to be burdened with imprisonment. This tea plantation was a classy, classy joint - but it was solitary. The staff was professional to a fault – but Dogster soon learnt not to expect conversation. Conversation was exclusively for the host, Mr. Sanjay – and the other guests. Another breakfast, another lunch, another afternoon tea with my new young friends - I had just enough conversational skills to keep things going. The couple appeared to have none. Their lack of passion extended to all things, including each other.
I could bear no more. Dinner was spent alone in my room. I left the youngsters to Sanjay.
Late that night I came out on the verandah to take the air. Their dinner had gone on a long time. Obviously they’d had fun. Mine host came out for a smoke. He was joined by Peter. They didn’t see me in the distance. I coughed.
‘Oh! Mr. Dog!’ Sanjay shouted. ‘Come and have a drink!’
‘Nah, boys, that’s for you. This old man’s off to bed.’
The two of them walked off down the hill to Sanjay’s house for their bonding booze-up. Dogster yawned.
Christine, sweet blameless Christine who just wanted to have sixteen babies, lay all alone in her pre-honeymoon double bed. She didn’t like it at all. Peter was here to attend to her; it was their pre-honeymoon, bonding drinks with the boys were not part of the plan. She snuggled down into her petulance. It was warm and dark inside. She fumed and pouted and ticked away, watching the clock.
I could bear no more. Dinner was spent alone in my room. I left the youngsters to Sanjay.
Late that night I came out on the verandah to take the air. Their dinner had gone on a long time. Obviously they’d had fun. Mine host came out for a smoke. He was joined by Peter. They didn’t see me in the distance. I coughed.
‘Oh! Mr. Dog!’ Sanjay shouted. ‘Come and have a drink!’
‘Nah, boys, that’s for you. This old man’s off to bed.’
The two of them walked off down the hill to Sanjay’s house for their bonding booze-up. Dogster yawned.
Christine, sweet blameless Christine who just wanted to have sixteen babies, lay all alone in her pre-honeymoon double bed. She didn’t like it at all. Peter was here to attend to her; it was their pre-honeymoon, bonding drinks with the boys were not part of the plan. She snuggled down into her petulance. It was warm and dark inside. She fumed and pouted and ticked away, watching the clock.
Nov 15th, 2008, 06:23 PM
#25
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I heard the screaming coming from their bedroom. It was two a.m. Christine was enraged. I couldn’t quite hear what she was saying but her blood-curdling shrieks cut through the stillness like a knife. She had a temper on her, she was scary, that’s for sure - I could see why he didn’t resist. A door slammed. I heard sobbing then a thump.
Dogster had a choice here. Get up, open the door, look down the verandah – see who it was making that noise, attend to them, stay up all night listening to their dreary story, be a great guy, give great advice, listen to some long drunken tale...
Nah. Screw ‘em.
I’ll get up if I hear a gun-shot.
Dogster had a choice here. Get up, open the door, look down the verandah – see who it was making that noise, attend to them, stay up all night listening to their dreary story, be a great guy, give great advice, listen to some long drunken tale...
Nah. Screw ‘em.
I’ll get up if I hear a gun-shot.
Nov 15th, 2008, 06:24 PM
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Car doors slamming.
Mmmm, what time is it? Arghhh, no, go away.
Motor starts. Crunch of gravel. Fade to silence. Eventually, hours later, I surface.
‘Good morning, Mr. Dogster,’ said one of the staff. ‘Good news!’
Clearly, I was the last to know.
‘Where are the others?’
‘Gone. Mr. Dogster.’
So they were. The bandh was lifted. I heard nothing more of Peter and Christine. They were heading back to ‘Rajanisthan’, from thence to Australia to settle and die - although, after last night’s conflagration I wasn’t really sure. What was that all about? I must ask Sanjay.
No time to ponder - now my plans were to the fore. The roads were clear and free - for now. But this was Gorkaland – tomorrow, who knows? An hour later I was in the front seat of a car heading for Bhutan. Sanjay was there to see me off. I hadn’t seen him alone since our conversation.
‘Sanjay, I have to ask you, pal...’ I whispered.
He came closer.
‘Did you screw her?’
He smiled. He nodded at the driver and the driver turned the key. He waited till the last second, till we were drawing apart.
‘Not her...’ he said over the crunch of the gravel.
He laughed at the stunned expression on my face as we backed slowly down the driveway.
Heading south down National Highway 31 Peter and Christine sat silent in their car, looking into a dismal future. Peter sat in the front, hung over and feeling sore. She seethed silently in the back seat, staring fixedly at the back of his head. They’d hit a rough patch in the tea fields of Darjeeling.
Devil Dogster chuckled and shook his head. We turned east to face Bhutan.
Mmmm, what time is it? Arghhh, no, go away.
Motor starts. Crunch of gravel. Fade to silence. Eventually, hours later, I surface.
‘Good morning, Mr. Dogster,’ said one of the staff. ‘Good news!’
Clearly, I was the last to know.
‘Where are the others?’
‘Gone. Mr. Dogster.’
So they were. The bandh was lifted. I heard nothing more of Peter and Christine. They were heading back to ‘Rajanisthan’, from thence to Australia to settle and die - although, after last night’s conflagration I wasn’t really sure. What was that all about? I must ask Sanjay.
No time to ponder - now my plans were to the fore. The roads were clear and free - for now. But this was Gorkaland – tomorrow, who knows? An hour later I was in the front seat of a car heading for Bhutan. Sanjay was there to see me off. I hadn’t seen him alone since our conversation.
‘Sanjay, I have to ask you, pal...’ I whispered.
He came closer.
‘Did you screw her?’
He smiled. He nodded at the driver and the driver turned the key. He waited till the last second, till we were drawing apart.
‘Not her...’ he said over the crunch of the gravel.
He laughed at the stunned expression on my face as we backed slowly down the driveway.
Heading south down National Highway 31 Peter and Christine sat silent in their car, looking into a dismal future. Peter sat in the front, hung over and feeling sore. She seethed silently in the back seat, staring fixedly at the back of his head. They’d hit a rough patch in the tea fields of Darjeeling.
Devil Dogster chuckled and shook his head. We turned east to face Bhutan.
Nov 16th, 2008, 10:06 AM
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Dogster, you are quite the stinker! But I'm very glad 'you are what you are' and have given up on the politeness. It's refreshing and endearing.
I knew this would be a good story when it started with the premise that sometimes the people you meet are the real tourist attraction. That seems to be true more often than not. I think we've all met our share of 'tourist attractions' along the way!
Thank you for yet another well-told story.
I knew this would be a good story when it started with the premise that sometimes the people you meet are the real tourist attraction. That seems to be true more often than not. I think we've all met our share of 'tourist attractions' along the way!
Thank you for yet another well-told story.
Nov 16th, 2008, 12:48 PM
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... ah, thank you, Dogster, for more fine 'jet-lagged' weekend reading ... must confess, right up there with my sweetie's 'SQ blog' (sadly, by invitation only; SIA management is on those Girls to be a bit more discreet.) ...
... loved your description of 'the couple'. Hope to avoid a similar fate; to date, not too difficult as, sadly, we primarily fly different routes ... (and on occasion, yours truly flies that 'traitor air' CX --- so love those HKG cuties.) ...
... do hope 'the couple' (or at least, the guy) find rapture with, perhaps, certain all-time cherished Thai 'masseuses'. Which brings me to an actual 'free at last' (thank you, MLK) marriage: rather recently, a beloved Scottish relative rater adroitly ditched his rather shrew of a wife of _ years, and is now living a rather glorious retired life in yes, Pattaya, Thailand. I'm obliged to be in beloved Bangkok every month for work, mortgage payments (and occasional pleasure), and do have the pleasure of seeing him every now and then. And wouldn't you know, each visit, well, he's been with a different, young, gorgeous Thai woman. (And rumour has it, on occasional weekends, he has been known to indulge in the all-time cherished 'threesome' ... shocking behaviour) ...
... as always, all the best to you 'D' ... (and rumour has it, those Singapore Girls are waiting for you) ...
macintosh (robert)
... "Mr. _, your guest has arrived. Shall I send her up to your room?" ...
(Royal Cliff Beach Resort, Pattaya, Thailand, February, 200_)
... (and yes, 'BillT', no dreaded, 'joiner fee') ...
Nov 16th, 2008, 03:48 PM
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I missed checking in yesterday so have just had a chance to enjoy another of your wonderful stories now. Thank you as always. And I didn't have to sit around singing while I waited.
You are truly a Hound of great skills. Hope we get on to Kathmandu soon.
You are truly a Hound of great skills. Hope we get on to Kathmandu soon.
Nov 16th, 2008, 04:22 PM
#36
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Thank you, my friends.
Mary: I hope you realise that it's purely because of you I put these stories in here in one big chunk. lol. I remember your plaintive bleat from a few stories ago. I learnt fast. Thanks as always. I'm glad you enjoy. Arghhh - Kathmandu. Lordy, that's proving hard to write. I might have to try that a different way.
I see I'm graced with one of AskOksena's amazing responses. Lordy, they make me smile. Am I the only one in here who understands them? lol. I just fill in the blanks with filth.
What I was trying to do here was tread lightly - but I can see I'm going to have to tread lighter still and cut something here so Jaya and Kathie et all, don't twig to the punchline too far in advance. I'm learning here so any suggestions would be happily taken on board.
Yup, travel addict - I can be an acquired taste - but I'm only truly dreadful with fools. I think you and I would have a wonderful dinner together. Dog would be on his best behavior.
Amy got it right - all parties were locked in to their behavior patterns. Couples like that young one reduce Dog to gibbering tears of frustrated rage. They're everywhere - just not often in tea-plantations. I still think that Sanjay and I are probably responsible for pre-emptive genocide. That's sixteen children that never were... sixteen kids just like their mummy and daddy.
Lordy - I should get a medal!
Mary: I hope you realise that it's purely because of you I put these stories in here in one big chunk. lol. I remember your plaintive bleat from a few stories ago. I learnt fast. Thanks as always. I'm glad you enjoy. Arghhh - Kathmandu. Lordy, that's proving hard to write. I might have to try that a different way.
I see I'm graced with one of AskOksena's amazing responses. Lordy, they make me smile. Am I the only one in here who understands them? lol. I just fill in the blanks with filth.
What I was trying to do here was tread lightly - but I can see I'm going to have to tread lighter still and cut something here so Jaya and Kathie et all, don't twig to the punchline too far in advance. I'm learning here so any suggestions would be happily taken on board.
Yup, travel addict - I can be an acquired taste - but I'm only truly dreadful with fools. I think you and I would have a wonderful dinner together. Dog would be on his best behavior.
Amy got it right - all parties were locked in to their behavior patterns. Couples like that young one reduce Dog to gibbering tears of frustrated rage. They're everywhere - just not often in tea-plantations. I still think that Sanjay and I are probably responsible for pre-emptive genocide. That's sixteen children that never were... sixteen kids just like their mummy and daddy.
Lordy - I should get a medal!
Nov 16th, 2008, 05:35 PM
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Thank you Dogster - I do appreciate it. I don't spend so much time (well not quite so much) popping back to have a look to see what's new. So I get back to my work a bit more often. Mind you I sit here with my beverage of choice - tea as its usually morning here when the report hits and I get to see it- and read the whole lot, so work doesn't start til late.
Fortunately I have the best and worst boss imaginable - me - always telling me off for not working enough but always able to justify the excuse of having to take Dogster time.
Fortunately I have the best and worst boss imaginable - me - always telling me off for not working enough but always able to justify the excuse of having to take Dogster time.
Nov 16th, 2008, 07:55 PM
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Oh, I had that same boss for years, Mary. Always the toughest.
Kathie: I'm not out of inspiration. I just can't work out which way to approach it. I set myself a goal of twenty stories. I've written 19. I'm just a little tired. lol. Oh, and thank you! what a great Dogster pic!. I hadn't got that far into your pics. I just want to go back.
Therapy? Too late rhk. Too, too, very, very late. I like my oddities. What's that phrase? Something about 'Old Dogs?' New tricks? As you can tell, I'm totally set in my ways.
Kathie: I'm not out of inspiration. I just can't work out which way to approach it. I set myself a goal of twenty stories. I've written 19. I'm just a little tired. lol. Oh, and thank you! what a great Dogster pic!. I hadn't got that far into your pics. I just want to go back.
Therapy? Too late rhk. Too, too, very, very late. I like my oddities. What's that phrase? Something about 'Old Dogs?' New tricks? As you can tell, I'm totally set in my ways.
