Hello Comrades,

I am just about to loose my job so I am looking for a nice place to stay, and have plenty of money to spend.
What can you recommend within easy distance of my friends

Big Bob

Do you mean to say that Papa and Baby Doc haven't extended their palatial estates for your use. Shame on them!

Thought that would be better than some country offering asylum!

I have just the thing for you. And it is located just around the corner from your friends and pays more than any of your friends are earning.

For more information please send $100 to me at your soonest convenience!

My suggestion is even nicer than Kavey's. In fact it is 10x nicer. So for you, $950.

DEAR ROBERT MUGABE,

CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL

HAVING CONSULTED WITH MY COLLEAGUES AND BASED ON THE INFORMATION GATHERED FROM THE NIGERIAN CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY, I HAVE THE PRIVILEGE TO REQUEST FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF $47,500,000.00 (FORTY SEVEN MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) INTO YOUR ACCOUNTS. THE ABOVE SUM RESULTED FROM AN OVER-INVOICED CONTRACT, EXECUTED COMMISSIONED AND PAID FOR ABOUT FIVE YEARS (5) AGO BY A FOREIGN CONTRACTOR. THIS ACTION WAS HOWEVER INTENTIONAL AND SINCE THEN THE FUND HAS BEEN IN A SUSPENSE ACCOUNT AT THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA APEX BANK.

WE ARE NOW READY TO TRANSFER THE FUND OVERSEAS AND THAT IS WHERE YOU COME IN. IT IS IMPORTANT TO INFORM YOU THAT AS CIVIL SERVANTS, WE ARE FORBIDDEN TO OPERATE A FOREIGN ACCOUNT; THAT IS WHY WE REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE. THE TOTAL SUM WILL BE SHARED AS FOLLOWS: 70% FOR US, 25% FOR YOU AND 5% FOR LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL EXPENSES INCIDENT TO THE TRANSFER.

THE TRANSFER IS RISK FREE ON BOTH SIDES. I AM AN ACCOUNTANT WITH THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION (NNPC). IF YOU FIND THIS PROPOSAL ACCEPTABLE, WE SHALL REQUIRE THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTS:

(A) YOUR BANKER'S NAME, TELEPHONE, ACCOUNT AND FAX NUMBERS.

(B) YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS -- FOR CONFIDENTIALITY AND EASY COMMUNICATION.

(C) YOUR LETTER-HEADED PAPER STAMPED AND SIGNED.

ALTERNATIVELY WE WILL FURNISH YOU WITH THE TEXT OF WHAT TO TYPE INTO YOUR LETTER-HEADED PAPER, ALONG WITH A BREAKDOWN EXPLAINING, COMPREHENSIVELY WHAT WE REQUIRE OF YOU. THE BUSINESS WILL TAKE US THIRTY (30) WORKING DAYS TO ACCOMPLISH.

PLEASE REPLY URGENTLY.

BEST REGARDS

All this was started after April Fools. Obviously we did not engage in enough pranks to get it out of our system.

This reminds me of the time that "Charles Taylor" made a few appearances on the Thorn Tree forum just as his court trial was starting.

Charles was a fine man with a public school education. Like me he is not to be made fun of.

mugaber,
I'm surprised to hear you have friends and equally surprised to see you sign as Big Bob I have always known you as Comrade Bob!

I am hoping you need a job very, very soon. It's never too late to expand one's horizons. I changed careers a few times in my life. Have you thought about landscape architect? Or veterinary technician? Or prisoner for crimes against humanity?

Bob and Chuck probably met while studying for that "degree in violence" that Bob says he has.