Traveling with an only child
Jul 7th, 2006, 05:31 AM
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Traveling with an only child
There is a post on this board about whether to have kids or not. My husband and I decided to have a baby, he is 4 months now and we love him to death. We also enjoy traveling all over the world and the finer things in life. So we decided to have an only child in order to have the best of both worlds.
Honestly, I am an only child myself and loved every bit of it. No one to fight over my stuff, but at the same times I had tons of friends and cousins to interact with. My best friend of 12 yrs (I am 28) is like the sister I never had. Though her and I live in different states, we talk or email each other many times a day, every single day. I am closer to her, than her brother is, whom she barely speaks a few times a year.
I do worry sometimes that our child will be bored traveling by himself with no other children to interact with. Sure, we can take a cousin or a friend along, but is it ever the same?? Also, the only cousins our son will have are my sister in laws, and they are not in the same financial situation as us and they will never be able to afford to pay for their daughters to come along with us on worldly trips.
Are any of you only children and have had experiences traveling with adults???
As a child, my family never had the means to travel anywhere or go on vacation, so I have no point of reference.
Honestly, I am an only child myself and loved every bit of it. No one to fight over my stuff, but at the same times I had tons of friends and cousins to interact with. My best friend of 12 yrs (I am 28) is like the sister I never had. Though her and I live in different states, we talk or email each other many times a day, every single day. I am closer to her, than her brother is, whom she barely speaks a few times a year.
I do worry sometimes that our child will be bored traveling by himself with no other children to interact with. Sure, we can take a cousin or a friend along, but is it ever the same?? Also, the only cousins our son will have are my sister in laws, and they are not in the same financial situation as us and they will never be able to afford to pay for their daughters to come along with us on worldly trips.
Are any of you only children and have had experiences traveling with adults???
As a child, my family never had the means to travel anywhere or go on vacation, so I have no point of reference.
Jul 7th, 2006, 05:47 AM
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OK, I'll bite.
You are making too much of a non-issue. Plenty of parents with only one child travel all the time without any problems. Children are pretty resilient and make friends easily. Just because you only have one child doesn't mean your child won't encounter other children around his own age during your travels. Just use common sense when travelling and you'll be fine.
With regard to taking along a friend or cousin, that's fine but I wouldn't do it all the time. By the way there have been many threads dealing with protocall when inviting someone else's a child on a trip - the concensus is that if you do the inviting you foot the bill.
You are making too much of a non-issue. Plenty of parents with only one child travel all the time without any problems. Children are pretty resilient and make friends easily. Just because you only have one child doesn't mean your child won't encounter other children around his own age during your travels. Just use common sense when travelling and you'll be fine.
With regard to taking along a friend or cousin, that's fine but I wouldn't do it all the time. By the way there have been many threads dealing with protocall when inviting someone else's a child on a trip - the concensus is that if you do the inviting you foot the bill.
Jul 7th, 2006, 06:28 AM
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As an only child, I can ASSURE you that I enjoyed every minute traveling with my parents. I went all over the country with my parents as a child. I also started flying on my own at the age of 7. If anything, it developed me into a more mature and confident adult. I learned to (and was expected to) interact with adults and behave like a young lady in nice restaurants and other scenarios.
Once I reached junior high (11-12), I started inviting friends along for vacations. I'm realize that I'm fortunate to have parents with the means to fund all of this.
Once I reached junior high (11-12), I started inviting friends along for vacations. I'm realize that I'm fortunate to have parents with the means to fund all of this.
Jul 7th, 2006, 07:18 AM
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You've already had your question answered. I agree with all the comments. I am an only and had great vacations, especially with my grandma. We'd go to Disneyland and I'd meet kids and swim with them at the pool. It's really no big deal. My husband is also an only child and had great vacations with grandparents as well, and traveled alone to and from destinations many times. It definitely matures a child faster to be an only I think.
We had an only child for 4 years (we now have two lovely sons ages 6 and 2) and he enjoyed traveling with us immensely. However he will probably have more fun having a "little buddy" on future trips, but it is what it is. Your son will never know the difference!
I predict this post is about to morph. You are going to get lots of replies, not about your original question, but about WHY you should have another child. Let the postings begin...
We had an only child for 4 years (we now have two lovely sons ages 6 and 2) and he enjoyed traveling with us immensely. However he will probably have more fun having a "little buddy" on future trips, but it is what it is. Your son will never know the difference!
I predict this post is about to morph. You are going to get lots of replies, not about your original question, but about WHY you should have another child. Let the postings begin...
Jul 7th, 2006, 07:30 AM
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The other funny thing about many only children, IMO, is that we are natural "networkers". Without built-in friends in the form of siblings, we are forced to find our own friends. I remember doing this networking on vacation with my family if we were staying in one place for more than a few days.
Although this NY Magazine article deals specifically with only children growing up in Manhattan, it has some really interesting insights into the relationships that parents and onlies develop. I immediately sent this to my mom after reading.
http://tinyurl.com/pr7r3
Although this NY Magazine article deals specifically with only children growing up in Manhattan, it has some really interesting insights into the relationships that parents and onlies develop. I immediately sent this to my mom after reading.
http://tinyurl.com/pr7r3
Jul 7th, 2006, 07:56 AM
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Drummer: I too am an 'only' - no regrets for it to have been different - don't feel it's better being an oldest, middle, youngest or only - they are all only different experiences.
Traveled extensively with mom & dad from an early age - was never bored - couldn't imagine being bored seeing all that great stuff and what was the difference - I was used to being alone with them at home, so being alone on vacation wasn't that different - just more exciting ! When I was older (teen) I did on some trips bring a cousin or friend, but rarely.
Also flew alone first time at 5 to meet my parents when they decided to extend an adult only vacation - and traveled as a single adult from ages 18 on with no qualms - don't even think about it - just love your child, have fun and travel often !
Some siblings are close, some aren't - my best friend (who has 3 siblings) gave me a framed poem once that said "It is chance that makes sisters but heart that makes friends" - sounds like you have a best friend like that too !
One thing I have noticed about some 'onlies' - because they are used to occupying themselves with alone time at home, they do the same when traveling - nothing has changed, just the location !
Traveled extensively with mom & dad from an early age - was never bored - couldn't imagine being bored seeing all that great stuff and what was the difference - I was used to being alone with them at home, so being alone on vacation wasn't that different - just more exciting ! When I was older (teen) I did on some trips bring a cousin or friend, but rarely.
Also flew alone first time at 5 to meet my parents when they decided to extend an adult only vacation - and traveled as a single adult from ages 18 on with no qualms - don't even think about it - just love your child, have fun and travel often !
Some siblings are close, some aren't - my best friend (who has 3 siblings) gave me a framed poem once that said "It is chance that makes sisters but heart that makes friends" - sounds like you have a best friend like that too !
One thing I have noticed about some 'onlies' - because they are used to occupying themselves with alone time at home, they do the same when traveling - nothing has changed, just the location !
Jul 7th, 2006, 08:05 AM
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I loved traveling with my parents as an only child. Some of my best childhood memories involve our trips around the U.S.
I will say that as I cruise through my 40s and am dealing with aging/dying parents, being an only child is not nearly so fun now...
I will say that as I cruise through my 40s and am dealing with aging/dying parents, being an only child is not nearly so fun now...
Jul 7th, 2006, 09:57 AM
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I'm an only child and I loved traveling with my parents. Not having other kids around was never an issue for me. However, everyone is different and I was never a "kid person" even when I was one myself. I have always preferrd the company of adults.
Jul 7th, 2006, 10:39 AM
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Another only child here. My parents usually let me bring friends on trips-to-the-lake type vacations, which was a lot of fun - or we would go with another family with kid(s), which worked out well. I have a lot of cousins, but we rarely travelled as an extended family.
For longer trips, it was generally just me and the folks. It was fine. I was never the type of kid to go meet other kids either. I just didn't need that type of interaction. Our trips were more on-the-move type trips - a day here, a few days there, checking out the sights, so there was too much to see to be bored.
With the trips to the lake type of trips, there was a lot more down time, so it was nice to have a friend to hang out with.
For longer trips, it was generally just me and the folks. It was fine. I was never the type of kid to go meet other kids either. I just didn't need that type of interaction. Our trips were more on-the-move type trips - a day here, a few days there, checking out the sights, so there was too much to see to be bored.
With the trips to the lake type of trips, there was a lot more down time, so it was nice to have a friend to hang out with.
Jul 7th, 2006, 11:55 AM
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My son (we have two and he's the oldest) always seems to find the only-child girl to befriend on all vacations. One thing to consider as your son gets a little bigger are resorts with kids camps and kids clubs. That will give you and your husband time to spa or golf, while giving him some social interaction. Later, he'll be lucky not to be stuck at American Girl with sister, and to have undivided attention.
Jul 7th, 2006, 12:12 PM
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I'm another only child here who traveled a lot with her parents as a child. I don't think traveling as an only is any different from doing anything else as an only. I certainly loved being an only, and I don't think it lessened my travel experiences at all, and I'm sure it made things easier on my parents (cheaper, etc.). Like others have said, kids make friends anywhere, and I did that on a few occasions, even when I was a toddler. Good luck whatever you decide to do!
Jul 7th, 2006, 02:25 PM
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another only. traveled with parents. had great time. sometimes took friends along. sometimes that worked well, sometimes not. now travel alone or with friends. like tess i am older. dealing with ailing parents alone was difficult. being an only, now without parents - "not nearly so fun."
Jul 8th, 2006, 02:05 AM
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Minority here- Oldest of three girls.
<laughing hysterically> A Traveller is right- you're making too much of a non issue. That aside- I've never wished to be an only child- EXCEPT ON VACATION. Picture this- 5 hours to drive, two parents in the front, three daughters in the back of a five seat car. 1 hour in- we (the kids) are trying to kill each other. When we're not fighting, we're singing "this is the song that never ends" or asking "are we there yet?". We get off the highway, enter a large city- Mom's reading the map wrong (upside down), so dad took a wrong turn, gets lost and refuses to stop and ask directions. We've now teamed up to mock them constantly.
Once we're there- together, we had the most fun together waiting- in line, at restaraunts, for the parents to get up in the morning.
So- that's not good or bad (memory wise), it just is. Looking back- the money it took to feed/house 5 people on vacation, and the headaches we must have given them- God Bless my parents for taking us with them.
Good parts- it's comforting to always have someone there that knows you, on your side, that will bully you into doing what he/she wants (so later- he/she owes you a stop at where you want to go). If you're an only child, (from having only children cousins/friends) you're treated like an adult sooner- 4 star food and museums instead of Chuck E cheese and legoland. There's more money- if I'd been an only child, my parents would have taken me to europe instead of the nearest beach, but plane tickets were far too expensive fo 5 people.
No, it's not the same to take some one else's kid with you- and don't bother until your kid is old enough to ask, for specific reasons. The only time it's really boring without siblings (I've travelled both ways) is as a teenager.
Either way- no one should be bored when traveling! Include your kid in the planning- and where you go, and what you do. Really, as a kid, I considered other adults just as much fun as playmates as other kids.The whole "interaction" thing is highly overrated.
Congrats on your beautiful baby boy- and NEVER second guess your choice to have only one child based on something as trivial as vacation!
<laughing hysterically> A Traveller is right- you're making too much of a non issue. That aside- I've never wished to be an only child- EXCEPT ON VACATION. Picture this- 5 hours to drive, two parents in the front, three daughters in the back of a five seat car. 1 hour in- we (the kids) are trying to kill each other. When we're not fighting, we're singing "this is the song that never ends" or asking "are we there yet?". We get off the highway, enter a large city- Mom's reading the map wrong (upside down), so dad took a wrong turn, gets lost and refuses to stop and ask directions. We've now teamed up to mock them constantly.
Once we're there- together, we had the most fun together waiting- in line, at restaraunts, for the parents to get up in the morning.
So- that's not good or bad (memory wise), it just is. Looking back- the money it took to feed/house 5 people on vacation, and the headaches we must have given them- God Bless my parents for taking us with them.
Good parts- it's comforting to always have someone there that knows you, on your side, that will bully you into doing what he/she wants (so later- he/she owes you a stop at where you want to go). If you're an only child, (from having only children cousins/friends) you're treated like an adult sooner- 4 star food and museums instead of Chuck E cheese and legoland. There's more money- if I'd been an only child, my parents would have taken me to europe instead of the nearest beach, but plane tickets were far too expensive fo 5 people.
No, it's not the same to take some one else's kid with you- and don't bother until your kid is old enough to ask, for specific reasons. The only time it's really boring without siblings (I've travelled both ways) is as a teenager.
Either way- no one should be bored when traveling! Include your kid in the planning- and where you go, and what you do. Really, as a kid, I considered other adults just as much fun as playmates as other kids.The whole "interaction" thing is highly overrated.
Congrats on your beautiful baby boy- and NEVER second guess your choice to have only one child based on something as trivial as vacation!
Jul 8th, 2006, 04:01 AM
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Should be no problem and I have 2 siblings. My Mom use to travel via VW Bus Camper around the NE & SE coast with us during the 1970s and of course other people had kids and we'd met them at pools, movies and when we/they were walking around. An only child would be nice for you because they don't have a sibling to pick on continuously during the road trip.
Jul 8th, 2006, 04:57 AM
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I don't know if being an only child is the greatest way to go. My Mom was one and whenever she told me, because we are brothers and sisters we should get along, I'd think she was being ridiculous. Obviously this is coming from someone who has never had them. She also told me she vowed if she had kids as an adult she'd have more than one. All that I can say is when you are an adult you really can appreciate having humans that are 100% related to you still around that are your peers.
By the way, as a child I read 1950s encyclopedias my late g-ma had and had many adult conversations about history, travel and politics with adults since somewhere under 10 yrs of age and I am the oldest of 3 and none of us are more than 4 yrs younger or older than each other. So its pretty stereotypical to say that if you have siblings you couldn't have any intellectual level as a child and never have any interest in adult conversation.
I'd have to agree with the lady/man who stated her experience with having siblings. You don't get to eat at really nice restaurants because its the price x 3 and my mom ended up just taking us to Howard Johnson's or Burger Kings along the way to the NJ or DE shores. However, when you are a kid you just eat hot dogs, hamburgers, P&B, bologna and grilled cheese sandwiches, popsicles, mac n' cheese - most gourmet foods don't appeal to kids.
By the way, as a child I read 1950s encyclopedias my late g-ma had and had many adult conversations about history, travel and politics with adults since somewhere under 10 yrs of age and I am the oldest of 3 and none of us are more than 4 yrs younger or older than each other. So its pretty stereotypical to say that if you have siblings you couldn't have any intellectual level as a child and never have any interest in adult conversation.
I'd have to agree with the lady/man who stated her experience with having siblings. You don't get to eat at really nice restaurants because its the price x 3 and my mom ended up just taking us to Howard Johnson's or Burger Kings along the way to the NJ or DE shores. However, when you are a kid you just eat hot dogs, hamburgers, P&B, bologna and grilled cheese sandwiches, popsicles, mac n' cheese - most gourmet foods don't appeal to kids.
Jul 8th, 2006, 05:44 AM
#17
I have many friends with only children and those kids are very easy to jump in and socialize. I think being an only child forces you to be more out going.
Having more than one child won't guarantee that your kids will be friends or even close. I am very fortunate to have two girls who are very close in age and really get along well. They are best friends. I am sure that is not always the case.
Traveling with children, I have seen many kids mingle with others on beaches and in pools at resorts. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Having more than one child won't guarantee that your kids will be friends or even close. I am very fortunate to have two girls who are very close in age and really get along well. They are best friends. I am sure that is not always the case.
Traveling with children, I have seen many kids mingle with others on beaches and in pools at resorts. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Jul 8th, 2006, 06:38 AM
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My kids are spaced very far apart (infertility). The oldest was an only child for 7 years before the second came along. She loves her younger sibs, but I'm sure she'd say it was heaven when she was the only child, especially on vacations. We could spend more $, do more, etc., and she got all the attention. 
Sure, there are pros and cons, but if you start traveling with your child at a young age, then he'll adapt and love traveling as much as his parents do. Don't worry about this issue, time will prove that this will work out just fine for you. Kids are probably the most adaptable creatures on earth. ;-)
Sure, there are pros and cons, but if you start traveling with your child at a young age, then he'll adapt and love traveling as much as his parents do. Don't worry about this issue, time will prove that this will work out just fine for you. Kids are probably the most adaptable creatures on earth. ;-)
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