waunakoenig

What do you do when asked for spare change by a panhandler? We are going to be visiting SF next week and have read a lot about the homeless situation on this board. My children (9 and 13) have never been to a really big city and have had little exposure to homeless people and panhandlers. While I want to raise them to be compassionate and generous to people less fortunate than they are I'm also concerned for their safety.

strings

They won't bother you too much. Some are bums, some are mentally ill, some are addicts. It is quite sad to see so many homeless, I guess the best is to use your intuition. We give money to those who seem most in need. Also we always wrap extra food from dinner and give it away.

MichelleY

Last Christmas we took our daughter to SF for the first time and again this year. She was afraid and just stuck very close to us. We usually ignore them or give some spare change. This year we had two panhandlers point out the fact that my husband resembles Bill Clinton!!! It's not the first time this has happened but its funny since my husband is a die-hard Republican.

Faina

I just say "sorry" and continue walking without stopping. If you want to teach your children to be compassionate let them write a check to a charity, just explain that most of them can't handle cash and depend on shelters, kitchens, etc.

deluca

Well they are going to get alot of exposure to homeless people on their trip to SF. It seems as if the problem has been getting worse. Ignoring them is the best approach. If you start giving money to one, you will have a crowd following you. For the most part these are mentally ill and/or drug addicts. You definitely want to be aware of your surroundings and exercise common sense with your belongings as it can be quite an intimidating experience dealing with the homeless.

Loki

Just ignore them. And DON'T give them money. Give it to a legitamate homeless charity that can put it toward food, shelter, rehab programs, etc. All employees of homeless organizations advise to not hand out money to the homeless, they will probably not spend it on food. Many are diabetic so take that into account if you're going to give them any food/beverage. Teach your children about charity by getting involved in your own community in some way.

susanspike

When you see the unfortunate site of the misery on the streets of SF you will come to realize why Herb Caen, a local newspaper columnist, came up with the nickname of Baghdad by the Bay for San Francisco.

Grasshopper

I went to the Orpheum Theater last night and in a 2 block walk was asked 3 times for money.

Don't give them money, however kindhearted you may feel. There are places for them to get food and a place to sleep. When they can no longer rely on the "kindness of strangers" they might stop preying on those areas.

Raising your children with compassion and charity is wonderful. There are a thousand and one things you can do to convey that message.

suzanne

Just explain to your kids that the bums usually use the money to buy drugs and booze, so it is best to not give them any (hey, it's what my mom told ME). Instead, save your doggie bags from restaurants and give them to the homeless as you walk back to your hotel after dinner. Of course, if you see someone who really tugs at your heart strings (like a homeless mama and baby) you might feel good about handing them a few coins. But when I see people doing that in my neighborhood, it makes me furious. Why? Because if no one gives them anything, they'll go away.

Most homeless people are safe, but the ones that are really drugged can be scary. But these ones you can see & hear from blocks away because of their erratic behavior. You can always just cross the street.

I'm practically blind to homeless people these days. The past year, they have been back in droves in NYC. I have no reaction...I just keep walking.

PamSF

You can tell your children about the condition of homelessness and say sorry or nothing to the panhandlers. There might be some tough sights like people panhandling with small children or with animals. This might be especially hard for your kids to understand. Make a point of doing commmunity service with your kids in your home town. You can teach them compassion in a variety of ways. There's a great 4th grade level book called "A hundred dresses" that is a good place to start teaching(you probably already have started actually). Mary Pipher also has a good book out on the importance of family and teaching a sense of community. It's tough times and only going to get tougher IMO.

Dan

To imply that Herb Caen nicknamed San Francisco "Baghdad by the Bay" because of the homeless situation is absurd. Read about it in his own words at http://research.compaq.com/SRC/perso...n/caen-SF.html

Seamus

It is a very hard task to teach your children compassion and kindness while seeming to ignore human suffering. My inner hippie always wants to invite sad-story panhandlers to join us for dinner, but I know that this is not the best response. Without looking to blame the victim, here are some of the realities in this sad social situation:
1. You can't tell by appearance who is sincere and who is looking for their next fix; the most masterful manipulators will have you in tears.
2. Professionals who work to address homelessness advise NOT to hand out in response to street begging, for reasons previously cited.
3. If you do submit to one of the sad stories, be prepared to be approached more often.

If this is new to the kids they may well have a hard time not gawking, pointing, even giggling to relieve their anxiety. Good that you are concerned for your children's safety, but most of the street beggars are harmless. Some, especially if mentally ill and off their meds, may be verbally abusive but the best response is not to respond - not even eye contact.
By all means do demonstrate to your children the quality of compassion by making a contribution to a recognized charity.

PamSF

And..if you want some information on a homeless shelter (actually called "transitional housing") for families..contact Hamilton House, San Francisco. They are very good at sending information on their programs and have always been quite responsive when we have sent donations.

BeachBoi

Many of the "homeless" are there because they have made that choice.Alkys have also made that choice their choice.

kam

Homelessness and drugs have been a problem in San Francisco for some time, but now it is the worst I have seen it in about a decade. It's difficult to ignore their pleas for a handout, especially when you are walking out of a restaurant. Lately, I have been going to SF less often because of what they have done to the city. The homeless in and of themselves are not too bad, although you will find the occasional ones who chase you down the street cursing at you. The main problem comes with the unsanitary nature of the streets and sidewalks from the trash they leave behind and the problem with public urination. The business community is trying to get the city to clean things up, but it will take some time.

myst

I would just ignore them. Most are not agressive and don't speak up. If they do ask directly, I just say sorry and keep walking. They are used to plenty of "sorries". I sometimes give money to the ones that sell "Street Spirit" a homeless newspaper printed by a charitable organization and provided to them for free to sell. You buy the paper for $1.00.

In the 8 years I have worked in SF, I have only encountered one agressive panhandler.

While in Montreal last year, I ran into many agressive panhandlers. I gave a very generous $5 Canandian dollar note to a person, only to have him follow me a block and start a new story and ask for more. I told him I had already been more than generous and he left. I have not had a similar experience in SF ever.

giorgi

No doubt that the panhandling population has increased by leaps and bounds in recent years. I live in a middle class area of SF, and we are even starting to have problems with the homeless in these types of neigborhoods. Of course, ground zero is still Union Square with Fisherman's Wharf a close second. I too have encountered alot more aggressive panhandlers than I used to. I don't know what it is. I think that since the city will be decreasing the monthly check that they give to these people, they in turn are becoming more aggressive in their approach of trying to get a handout.

J_Correa

I've never had problems with aggressive panhandlers in SF either. Growing up in Santa Cruz I had a couple run-ins, nothing bad though - just homeless people who yell when you don't give them money.

I just ignore them or say sorry when I pass by.

Faina

Oh, by the way, don't buy from the homeless "San Francisco Art Monthly" and "Examiner". These are free newspapers and sometimes they sell them to unsuspecting tourists.

Smokyboy

They all must of been on vacation when we went to San Francisco in July! When we went we stayed at the St. Francis, The Palace, and Sheraton at FW. Not ONCE were we panhandaled in the city (5 days). We saw some homeless, not any more than Atlanta, and felt very safe and comfortable. I got harrased 50 times as much when I was in Jamaica. San Francisco is a wonderful city and I truly don't see all the fuss. Maybe people are mad because they get paid?