JoyC

Greetings!! I have a bit of dilemma. Friends of ours (family of 4) wanted to join us for a week in Italy next spring on a culinary adventure. We don't have problems with that except that we will be dining 2x/day for 7 days. If it was only 2 days we could arrange payment amongst ourselves. How do you address this to the restaurants we will be dining at? Is asking for separate checks common in Italy? Although we are a well-travelled family, we have not travelled with anybody else hence this situation has not come up. Thanks for your help.

cmt

I don't think separate checks are a common practice. It might be best to figure out some other way to split up the payments, without getting the waiter involved.

Patrick

Are you open to splitting the bill in half between the two couples? If so, I suggest you alternate paying for meals and one person keeping an account. Near the end, whoever owes the other the most should pick up the tab so you come out about even, then settle up the difference with cash.

If you don't want to split (like if one couple never drinks and the other does), then I'm not sure how to help you.

JoyC

Thanks cmt and Patrick for your suggestions. They are a family of 4, Dad, Mom, 2 boys and we are a family of 3, Dad, Mom and 1 boy. Since we will be paying mostly with credit card I guess we can figure out who owes whom later. Its just so much hassle but I guess thats the best we can do it. Thanks again.

cmt

I used Patrick's method when I spent a week with a friend in CA a long time ago. She drank more often than I did, and I think she had desseerts and I didn't, but it didn't really matter, becaseu we were friends, and things even out over the decades, especially since I've had a lot of holday dinners at her house. With another friend, who was my travel companion in Europe several times when I was young, we used to just pay according to who had the money handy, but keep notes on our meal and museum and ticket charges and who paid what and eventually reconcile it, I think. But with her, too, we were very good friends, so it was not a precise businesslike arrangement. With people who are not close freinds, it's really annoying to split 50/50 when one consistently orders more expensive choices and has drinks or desserts when the other doesn't, so it might be best to settle up right after dinner.

SeaUrchin

You can appoint someone "treasurer" and keep a small notebook with the general costs written for the meals. This can be done discreetly and doesn't have to be exact, then you can settle up at some point on your trip.

I've done this and it works out well, if you don't get someone who wants to jot down every and I mean every little extra! ("You ate more bread than we did&quot

Patrick

That makes it a little more complicated but it means the 4 family owes 57% of each bill, and the family of 3 owes 43%.

So first night family of 4 pays the tab -- 285 euros. In the book you right down 3 owes 4 122.5 euro. The next night 3 pays -- the tab is 290 euro. You write down 4 owes 3 100 euro. You end up comparing and evening out the total tab. It sounds a lot more complicated that it is. We've done this countless times with odd groups of travel partners. It's so much better for one person to play "host" each night than to sit and count out money or do the math on the spot.

jules4je7

I agree with Patrick on this one.

Another tip would be to talk it over with the couple before you go, as they're probably wondering how to handle it as well. If everyone knows what's happening in advance, it'll go much smoother.

I have a couple here in the States that I now always ask separate checks for when I'm dining with them. They never ad tax and tip, and always leave the rest of us paying more of the bill, and they are positively OBLIVIOUS!

Jules

JoyC

Thanks everyone for your suggestions especially to you Patrick (I am a big "fan" of yours and have followed several of your travel advice with great success!!). I think that's the best way to do it instead of messing around with the restaurant and waiters. You all are awesome. Thanks again.

Michael

Set up a common kitty. Each person contributes an equal amount. One person handles it and pays for all the common expenses: museums, restaurants, food for the house, transportation, etc. When the kitty is low, it's filled again with equal amounts for each person.

Budman

It is my experience that separate checks are very common on Europe. Unless you are at a very fancy restaurant, it should be no problem at all. I've even had them total up my tab on the table cloth or on a small notepad.

When you ask for your bill, just tell the waiter who is paying for what. The only problem would be splitting the cost of a bottle of wine.

Eloise

I would tend to agree with Budman that you can ask the waiter to split the bill, and I would do it right at the beginning: "We three are together, and the four of them are together."
After all, waiters are perfectly accustomed to tables of three or of four.

Then

degas

Sit at seperate tables that are right next to each other!

Actually, I agree with Budman.

Eloise

Oops, wrong button...

Then the only thing you would have to split among yourselves would be, as he says, a bottle of wine -- I assume only two people from each family would be drinking wine. And if the couples order house wine, then you don't even have to split the wine.

Patrick

Michael's idea is good too, but only works if you all want to pay cash for everything. My system is essentially the same thing but works for credit cards.

It's been a few years since we tried the separate checks thing in Europe, but when we did in France and in Italy, we met with more than a little scorn and a big sigh of "OK, if I have to". We just didn't think it was worth it. Maybe they're more used to it now.

SeaUrchin

Well, since no one seems to like my first suggestion......how about handing the waiter both of your credit cards and letting him spilt the bill down the middle?

I've done this in Europe too and it is easier on the waiter and you are not being too much of pains in the arses.

LoveItaly

Hi SeaUrchin, although I have never been in the situation that JoyC is as I either treat the table to dinner or they treat me...if I were travelling with other people and had this problem I would handle it as you suggested. To me this seems the simplier way. I am all for keeping everything simple. Best wishes.

SeaUrchin

OK, loveitaly, one of these days when we meet up in Roma, I'll buy the first dinner! Ciao !

LoveItaly

Hey darling SeaUrchin, and I will buy the second dinner the next night! Wouldn't that be fun! Take care.

RufusTFirefly

Can't you just add up who owes what, and each couple pay what they actually owe? A small pocket calculator would make this easy.

Splitting evenly can work, but, especially over several meals, one couple or the other (or even both!) can get the impression that the other couple is consistently eating/drinking more. And some people, who are otherwise great, will do so knowingly or not. Not a big deal if you're talking about sandwiches at lunch, but it can become an issue over a more expensive meal.

We found that with some people even splits were not worth the potential for temptation or hard feelings.