jenblase

Hi Fodorites. I hope you can bear with me as this long...

This Tuesday I'm embarking on a two-week trip to London, Bath, and Paris with my lovely mother. I gave her this trip as an Xmas gift last year, and at the time I was extremely excited about putting together the perfect trip for the two of us. She has been to Europe only once before, in 2000, and going with her has been something I've wanted to do for many, many years. Due to an abundance of frequent flyer miles and hotel points, I decided 2011 would be the year.

In the time since, I have had some issues arise which led me to consider cancelling my trip. I lost my job in April - I had lost my full-time job in 2009 but I had gotten a very good part-time job that I hoped would turn into something permanent, but it wasn't meant to be. I also have been suffering a bout of depression (which I'm sure is related to the job losses) that I haven't been able to get under control with meds. My sweet husband assured me not to worry about the financial part of the trip, and encouraged me to carry on with our plans. I also knew that my mom would be very disappointed if I were to cancel on her, so I moved forward with booking tickets.

Here is the problem: I have been absolutely stagnant in planning for this trip. Aside from getting our plane tickets and booking our hotels, I have next to nothing reserved. I have a general idea of what we want to see, but no sort of itinerary formulated. No reservations for dinner, afternoon tea, nothing. I don't even know/remember what kind of transportation tickets I should buy. Still need to refresh my memory on the whole Oyster card and Carte Orange thing.

The worst part for me is knowing that I have been out of a job since April and yet have not used that time constructively. I *could* have had the most organized, minute-by-minute itinerary put together, but obviously that wasn't in the cards for me. I have barely looked at Fodor's at all in the last 9 months; in planning other trips I was on here obsessively. With the depression, every little thing I do is just so overwhelming and the enjoyment just isn't there for me right now.

Now fortunately I have been to all three cities before, so there's that. My main concern is that we're going to get to London on Wednesday and I'm going to be like, "what now?" Followed by 13 more days of the same. I wonder if anyone here would be willing to throw some suggestions my way, or just simply reassure me that everything will be fine.

We are staying 5 days at the Hyatt Churchill in London, 3 nights at the Hilton Bath City, and 5 nights at the Park Hyatt Vendome in Paris. We have our transportation to/from each hotel set up, as well as the Nat. Express tickets to Bath, so that's something!

I am leaving in less than 48 hours and don't even have my suitcase packed yet. I feel like I've waited to the 11th hour and now everything is hitting me all at once of how unprepared I am. I've always been better working under pressure so I'm hoping tonight/tomorrow I can straighten myself out and get some information printed out.

I hope this doesn't come across like I'm whining... I really don't intend for it to. It's taken a lot for me to even type this out. I guess I'm hoping someone can tell me that it will be fine, they've winged trips like this before and I have nothing to worry about. When it comes down to it, I know I'm a very lucky girl and am grateful to even have the opportunity to go on this trip.

~Jennifer

janisj

Cheer up -- you'll be fine.

Luckily you have picked the easiest two places (England in general and Paris) to travel w/o major planning.

Don't you hate all those minute-by-minute itineraries we read on here every day?? Very few of them end up precisely to plan.

What I'd do: When arriving at LHR stop and pick up a copy of Time Out. You and Mom read through it on the ride into London. Sit back--look at all the fun things you can do.

There is no reason to pre-book tons of stuff. Click on 'Destinations' above and read up a bit tonight.

TKTS at Leicester Square for theatre tickets - no need to pre-book. And if there is a special restaurant you want to try - let the concierge deal w/ it.

Don't worry about the Oyster card -- just goto a tube station and throw yourselves on the mercy of the ticket agent. S/he won't 'do you wrong' (I'd forget about the 2-for-1 deals we all post about. That will just pile on having to workout the paper travelcard vs. Oyster and pre-printing the vouchers. Relax and leave that to others w/tons of planning time.
Also checkout the London Walks website.

Bath is just plain easy peasy. There are wonderful walking tours from the Tourist office near the Roman Baths/Abbey. Everything is walkable. Don't plan --just do

And Paris...My goodness, except for remembering which days which museums are closed is about all you need to worry about. The concierge can book dinners.

Enjoy Paris w/o a forced march 'planned itinerary'

You'll be fine

CaliNurse

I always panic before a trip, no matter how much prep i've done. Pretrip Packing Panic.It's so bad, friends no longer call the night before a trip to wish "Bpn Voyage!"
So you are not alone,

i agree with Janis'swise advice, above. Often it is better to follow your nose and "go with the flow". In fact, the more I travel, the more I think that is the best way to do it. Sure, you'll miss some so-called "not to mss" places, but you'll see others which are your own discoveries!

you HAVVE the most important stuff taken care of: travel and the roof over your heads.

Now...get packing, get on the plane and exhale! Once you arrive and get thru customs, it will all work out!!!!

Sassafrass

Dear Jennifer,

So sorry about your job and all the associated stress. You know though, the best things we have are memories, and you will be making some. I would say, don't worry about planning now. You've got the basics nailed down. That is a lot more than we often do. Pack your suitcase and pick up a couple of guidebooks, if you don't already have some. Fodors is, of course, great. You can read and do some planning on the plane. Once you are there, you can even hop on Fodors and ask for recs for restaurants, etc.

We have winged it on many trips, and they were all wonderful. As a matter of fact, neat things always happen when we least expect it. We take two or three good guide books with us. Sometimes on the plane going over, we map out a plan.

London:
I suggest on your first day, you head out for some cheap theater tickets. If you really like theater, get something for two or three evenings. If you want to go to the Globe, get those the first day also. Then pick a museum or other major sight for each day, and fill in the blanks later. One thing we liked a lot was really simple: a ride on one of the canal boats to Camden and we loved some of the big flea markets.

In Bath:
Visit the Abby, then catch one of the wonderful, free, history tours that begin in front of the Pump House. I think they are in the morning around 10:00. Have lunch, then tour the Roman Baths. They are really interesting.
I might also suggest taking a "Mad Max" tour. They use mini vans and go from Bath to Stonehenge and then several villages in the Cotswolds with a great stop for lunch in one of the places where Jane Austin films were made. It is a long, but great day. You should probably get the number and call/e-mail them from London to get a spot. If that is too much or too rushed for you, there are plenty of things to do around Bath. Skip any evening Ghost walks/tours though - pretty lame.

Paris:
You can't not have a good time there. Others say with only a few days, skip Versailles, but I would take my Mom there. By the time you get there, you will have a plan together. Your Mom will probably know what she wants to see. With all the great cafes, you won't go unfed.

Have a fabulous trip and please let us know how it goes afterwards.

Nikki

I never pack until the morning I leave. With less than 48 hours before the trip, I would do the laundry now, make sure I had everything I need, make that last trip or two to the drug store for the things I forgot (I always forget something on each trip to the drug store).

I'd pick up a guide book or two to read on the plane. You can probably do this at the airport if you don't have time to get one at home.

Don't worry about transportation tickets in Paris. I only ever buy a carnet of tickets, which is a set of ten tickets that can be used on the metro or the bus. You can share them between you and your mother and buy another carnet if you need it. This is inexpensive enough that I have never bought any kind of transportation pass. It is slightly cheaper than buying tickets one at a time, but tickets are inexpensive, so even if you end up buying them one at a time in Paris, you will not go broke doing so. In London it is a different story, as individual rides are priced ridiculously high if you don't buy an oyster card.

PatrickLondon

Don't blame yourself. Even if you did have one of those mapped-out itineraries, you'd only stress yourself more if and when anything upset it - and it sounds like you need a rest from worry, rather than adding to it by beating yourself up. Not having a committed plan can be one of the nicest ways to travel anyway, even just finding a nice spot to sit and watch the world go by (it doesn't need our plans to be worth watching).

More importantly, your mother might welcome the chance both to be helpful to you and to have a share in deciding what to do day by day - let her loose on the guidebooks, including Time Out as janis suggests (they have a website too).

avalon

I agree with Patrick a planned out total Itinerary would stress me out way more than a go woth the flow.London and Paris are both great place to just get up and decide what you want to do. The only thingsI ever really plan out are things I know that are specific day. Borough Market Friday, Richard Lenoir Market ,Sundays. .I do check to see what new exhibits are on at the museums, but just list them and the closing days and go when I feel like it. I don't worry much about dinner reservatiuons. unless ther is some place I especially want to go I just make them from there. There is almost always someone to take a reservation in Paris in English.ANd many places do not require them.

I understand your job anxiety but your husband has the right idea, relax you'll finds one when you return or you won't . Your finance must be okay if he is not woried. This might be a chance to change to do something you especially like or volunteeer. Have fun It would be a shmae to disappoint your mom

Ackislander

You have an opportunity, not a problem. This is how I prefer to travel: go to a reasonable hotel in a good place and do what the weather and your energy permit.

I am going to Italy tomorrow for two weeks, and I am a nervous wreck because we have had to plan. We are going to several cities and meeting friends along the way, and I even have a list of "sites I MUST see." Most uncharacteristic. Wanna trade tickets?

lincasanova

Great advice. Enjoy this time with your mom and I hope the work situation improves in the future. It sounds like this wonderful break is needed and will be much appreciated! your husband sounds like a gem. Lucky you. Don't forget the camera!

Maudie

Don't even stress about the packing - pick up some bargains when you get there and you're good to go!

Just go with the flow, if its a rainy day head for galleries and museums, afternoon tea etc. Nice weather just walk, walk, walk and stop when something piques your interest. Maybe a day trip to Hampton Court Palace? Buy some goodies and sit in Queen Mary's Rose garden for a picnic. What a wonderful opportunity you have to just stop and smell the roses (no pun intended). Sit with your mum each night or over breakfast and decide what you would like to see that day.

Just enjoy spending some quality time with your mum and let things happen, you will have the most wonderful memories. Best wishes to you.

progol

Sounds like you've got the important stuff taken care of -- you have tickets and hotel reservations! Before the internet, that's pretty much all I ever had (if that much!).

I agree with the above -- don't stress too much over the details. Ask your mother what she would like to see - she probably has some ideas of what would be fun for her. Stick to a few specific places and see what unfolds from there. Who cares where you go exactly -- you'll be in some wonderful places and during the best time of year for lots of walking!

I bet taking the trip will also lift the depression considerably -- after those job losses, it's no surprise that you've been so affected -- but sometimes the best intervention is doing SOMETHING. This trip will probably help you feel better, and in turn, more energetic, when you return.

Go and enjoy! Your mother is a lucky woman to have a daughter who wants to travel with her!

denisea

I think this trip is just what you need!

I also think that the best things and greatest memories on trips are the things you didn't plan for. i think when you land and see London and then Paris, you will get that energy and excitement.

Visit the Tower of London and take a look at the crown jewels...a spirit lifter for any girl.

In Paris, just buy a carnet or two of Metro tix when you arrive-you can split them. Very convenient and can be used on the bus, as well.

There is always a surprise waiting for you. Do take advantage of the concierge's services at your hotels. They will be invaluable.

A visit to Westminster requires no money and no reservations-but it is awe inspiring. The same for Notre Dame in Paris. Maybe a stroll on Ile St Louis afterwards-charming and cute cafes, shops and Berthillon ice cream...look for the line (so worth it).

The Paris museum pass site can tell you what sites are closed, which days (The Louvre, closed on Tuesday). You can use my fav avtivity of finding the best pain au chocolat in Paris!

No fixed itinerary leaves you wide open to explore and find your own discoveries. You have plane tix and hotel reservations....that's all you need.

Go and enjoy...no worries.

ssander

Relax...

It sounds like you're in good shape. The essentials -- air, hotel and airport-hotel-transport are done.

I agree that, for your purposes, Oyster cards in London and carnets in Paris make sense. You can buy the carnets at any tobacco/magazine shop.

My only suggestions about pre-planning would be: make a list of WHEN your major sights are open/closed. I always find this helpful for flexibility, since enjoying some sights depends on weather.

SS

Graziella5b

THINK positive you care about your mother and are doing your best for her.
This fact which seems trivial is of great importance it means you love her and
love can move mountains. As Sassafras mentioned London and Paris are two
easy destinations full of things to do, and in Paris for instance sitting in a cafe and
watching people go by is in itself wonderful, and should be part of your trip.
Enjoy every day as a blessing you do not need a detailed list, only open your eyes
LATER you will cherrish every moment of this trip and your decision to take your Mother
to fullfill her wish. God bless you.

texasbookworm

Go enjoy the blessing of time with her!

The advice above is great, I think. In London if you "pick" just a few sites--like the Tower, WestminsterAbbey, and/or St Paul's,the British Museum--as possible main ideas, one per day, you will have plenty of time and energy for lots more. If you have access to a computer, you could always peruse Fodor threads once there! Ha! If it wouldn't add to your stress and just serve as a tool, you could take or pickup a paperback guidebook, as Nikki (and maybe someone else above) says. Could be very productive on-plane activity.

qwovadis

Hi Jen

Relax Londontown.com is a tonne of fun

odds are great you will have a blast

eurocheapo.com/london for cheap free stiff

British museum amazing and FREE to me there...

Globe Theatre cheap if u love The Bard...

insuremytrip.com always wise for me...


Have fun,

lincasanova

if you would like a special lunch at a lovely place.. we enjoyed the Ledbury. It is in a darling neighborhood and they had a 33GBP lunch that was delicious.

jenblase

Thank you SO much guys. You don't know how much these responses have helped. I actually felt the stress melting away as I read them, and my shoulders un-tensing!!! As I was reading, some ideas came to mind of things I already have planned or thought about but never really put them down on paper. It will help me a bit if I do that here.

I did forget that I bought Rock of Ages tickets for my mom (it's in Previews) so we have that this Friday night.

Thursday I know we'll go to the Borough Market - went on Thursday last year w/my husband and I loved it. I know there's not as many vendors that day but it seemed fine for us. Gotta get one of those to die for Grilled Cheese Sandwiches!!

Friday night is Rock of Ages... and I think we'll do fish and chips beforehand (we are going to an 8:30 show I believe). We tried Rock and Sole Plaice last year and it was good; any other suggestions for places in the Covent Garden area?

Saturday we'll do the Portobello market... Sunday not sure, but three things we MUST see on this trip are the V & A, the Tower of London and Westminster Abbey w/mom. Think I should avoid those sites on the weekends?? One day we might just take a walk along the South Bank and wander in/out of museums and maybe check out the Eye if the weather's nice (I've already done that but apparently for my mom it's a must-do!!)

Bath I think will be easy. I did just go online and booked a Mad Max tour for the Cotswolds on Tuesday, so thanks for that idea!! Weds we'll probably do the Roman Baths and maybe the 2:00 free walking tour. My mom also wants to see the Fashion Museum.

Paris I'm still not flush with many ideas... but at least that's at the tail end of our trip and since I have free internet at the hotels, I'm sure I will have some time to jump on and research that portion before I get there.

Part of the problem is that for a "usual" trip, I typically read Fodor's extensively while planning, and part of that entails reading others' trip reports. Normally I pore over every trip report, and those gives me ideas, restaurant names, etc. I think that's what's adding to the feeling of unpreparedness; the fact that I didn't read as many trip reports this time!!!

Thanks again!

MarnieWDC

Well, Jenblase, I expect that it has altered your mood a bit to know, as you now must do, how many wonderful posters are your friends on this Forum... and supporters. I am impressed by the responses you got - the practical, of course, but the excellent, supportive and encouraging perspectives.

In addition to the great advice above, consider trying to devise a strategy for yourself if you find yourself feeling too low energy to budge: you know, the 'one step at a time' & 'very small goals'...perhaps a walk around the block and reminding yourself what a gift this trip is for your mother - and to your relationship with each other. I envy you - and her.

Enjoy your time together...
~MarnieWDC

Ackislander

Whether or not you are religious, you might well enjoy a Sunday service at Westminster Abbey or St Paul's. I would recommend either Matins or Evensong for the music.