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italy-switzerland travel advice in mid to late May

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My husband and I are planning a trip to Northern Italy and Switzerland for 8 days (not including air travel time) in mid May. We are flying into Milan and planning to spend 3-4 days at Lake Como with a day trip to Verona, then traveling by train into Switzerland. Initially we planned to visit the Ticino, but since we're already spending time in Italy itself I thought it might be more interesting to spend a couple of days in Lucerne and a couple of days in the Berner Oberland (looking at Grindelwald or Wengen?). We fly out of Zurich.

Would it be better to go from Como to the Alps to Lucerne before taking the train to Zurich for our flight back, or should we do Lucerne and then to Grindelwald or Wengen? I'm trying to spend the least amount of time in transit and not overspend on trains to force an itinerary.

How much time do we need to see Lucerne and the BO? We are hikers, but not really hardcore. I am not much for big cities while on vacation unless they're REALLY interesting. I don't like going to museums just because they're there.

Is Zurich worth spending any time before our flight departs?

Another possibility would be to pick a second Italian destination before making our way to Lucerne and skipping the BO. Any thoughts on this? I studied abroad in Italy so it is dear to my heart, and I would never complain about spending the extra days there.

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