skatterfly

Just wondering if there are any rules or norms about this in London and Paris. I will be going in September and will probably still be nursing my 18 month old. I know Europeans are not prudes about this, but with an older child, who knows?

Here in the US (I'm in Northern California) we have the legal right to do it anywhere including restaurants, so we take for granted it can be done easily everywhere.

Thanks,
Kat

earl30

you're still nursing a kid who's one and a half years old? geez, of course you'll get stares, not because of the bare breasts, but because they'll wonder what's going on.

francophile03

Gee, earl30, that was uncalled for.

marcy_

Speaking as a former lactation counselor who breastfed all of my kids, I certainly hope that you won't have any problem.

I don't have first hand experience with breastfeeding in Europe, but I would think that a lot of the same advice would apply as in the US.

I'm sure you're used to nursing discreetly in public, and wearing clothes that lend themselves to this. Restaurants with booths make it a little easier. Most people probably won't even realize what you're doing.

Of course a toddler can usually wait a little while, too, until you're in a place where you can nurse comfortably.

In general, the only responses that I ever got when nursing (discreetly) in public were nostalgic comments from older women who had nursed their children, and looked back fondly on that time.

Good luck, and I hope you have a great trip!

skatterfly

Geez Earl, a bit rude, dontcha think? I hope the Europeans aren't as narrow minded as you are about this... since it's common around the world to nurse beyond a year... not to mention the best for the baby.

Marcy, thanks for the vote of confidence. I forget that the older babies can wait a few minutes till there is a more comfortable place for all. I am thinking of the "emergency" situations or if we get somewhere with a whiny, clingy, hungry child like on a long plane or train ride. I'm long past the days of needing to nurse in a restaurant. And frankly she almost won't nurse in public any more with all the distractions. Mostly just nurses to sleep for naps and bedtimes, though, wherever we are.

I guess what I'm wondering is what is considered "discreet" by European standards. I would likely find a quiet park bench or under a shady tree alone, but with a squirmy wiggling toddler who knows how to pull up my shirt, it's hard to say if I'm being "discreet." I don't use nursing tops with the holes in them... just nice knit tops that don't reveal too much. And I can't possibly drape a big blanket over myself and the baby... she'd pull it right off. But I'm not going to worry too much about it. I may try to contact a LLL chapter in France to ask them.

thanks,
Kat

Scarlett

I have never seen a woman nursing a baby in Paris.
I am sure they do, but I have a feeling they are not as "out in the open" as they might be in Northern California.

lyb

>> but with a squirmy wiggling toddler who knows how to pull up my shirt, it's hard to say if I'm being "discreet."<<

Living in N. CA, I know nursing mothers have a legal right, but..Let me enter the "rude" camp, given your above statement, I'm sure you get stares in N. CA also....

hanl

I'm not sure what kind of reaction you'd get in France, but I think you're likely to surprise a few people. Many French women don't breastfeed their babies at all, and of those that do, many tend not to nurse them for very long - perhaps a couple of months. I've read that more women are starting to breastfeed in France, but I don't think I've ever seen a single women nursing a child in public here.

crazymina

Please forgive my ignorance, I don't have kids of my own....but all my friends who do have babies use a pump. Is it something you could do?

Because to be honest, I'd stare to at a squirmy wriggling toddler under her mama's shirt too.

SiobhanP

In Ireland it is not a problem at all. More women seem to be breast feeding their babies and most of the time I never even realise it until afterwards. I have no idea about France but I think it may be a bit more formal in Public places.

I will say though it would be seen as unusual in Ireland to be feeding an 18 month old. This is not a comment to insult you it is just uncommon thats all . Try to hold off feeding until you are in more private areas if you feel uncomfortable with peoples rections. Have a good trip.

Tallulah

I live in London and certainly there is no law against breastfeeding but discretion is key. Generally the attitude prevailing attitude is that it shouldn't be done in public and people, particularly the older generations, do 'tut' (but equally, being British, they wouldn't dream of actually complaining!). Personally I don't know why, given that it's the most natural thing in the world.

HOWEVER, it is really, really unusual for a child of 18 months to be breastfed here and yes, I'm afraid that people will stare - probably a lot. Since you are concerned about this (hence your post) I would suggest that you do it privately. I'm not saying whether this is right or wrong, just saying...

MorganB

I have lived in Paris for 3 years and can only think of one instance in which I have seen a woman brest feeding. Not saying that it wont be accepted because I really have no idea but just simply havent seen it.

waterloo

I agree with past posters.

I live in London. Breastfeeding is not as common as it should be.Only about 60% of mothers breastfeed at all- falling to about 30% by three months.

I fed both my kids until about ten months (which is unusual).

Whilst it is not uncommon to see young babies being fed in restaurants/parks etc, it is very uncommon to see toddlers fed. One of the children at my daughter's playgroup was fed until she was three and this was seen as very odd even by other mothers who had fed their kids as babies.

I am afraid in the UK there is an obsession with women's breasts as purely sex objects (in our tabloids we have pictures of topless women on page three).It is likely you will be stared at particuarly as you will be feeding an older child.

I have visited Paris on many occasions and have never seen anyone feeding a baby in public. I did feed mine in public elsewhere in France without any comments/stares. However, as previous posters have commented I think that breasfeeding is rarer in France than in England.

Congratulations for continuing so long and good luck with your trip but discretion might be best if you want to avoid stares/leers.

In my local paper quite recently there was a report of a mums group which met for a coffee and chat at a local restaurant with their babies being asked to leave because their breastfeeding was putting other customers off and that was

nytraveler

I have a British friend who is a maternity nurse and asked about this. She said there is no "right" to nurse in public, but if you are discreet there should be no problem. But she said if your breast is exposed in a public place (park etc.) there might be complaints. (In England it is very rare to nurse beyond 4/5 months and it is considered appropriate for a nursing mom to leave the room to nurse - except with family/close friends. Also, babies are nursed eiher with maternity tops or under the top or blanket - the breast is not exposed in public.)

nanb

Kat, this is certainly a topic that can bring out the worst in people,
so I think you are brave to bring it up here

I am assuming that right now your baby is about one yr old,
and you will find there is going to be a difference in the amount she/he is nursing now and will be nursing then.
most likely fewer times a day, and then mainly for comfort .

As a mom who nursed her children til they weaned themselves I hope you will still be nursing then,
but, that aside....

I am sure that if you are discreet, keeping covered as much as possible and turning away from open view, etc. you will be fine.
why do some seem to think that a nursing mom is going to pull her shirt way up around her neck anyway??

Even though I am sure you want to be as sensitive as possible to others around you , keep in mind-
Your baby, your right to do this,
and do you really care if some look at you askance ?

Have fun!!!

jenifer

Kat - I also applaud you for doing this, and for being brave enough to ask about it here.

One suggestion that might make things more comfortable for you - can you start working with your child now to teach him/her that it's not appropriate to pull up your shirt, but rather to ask to nurse? That might help alleviate the fear that you'll be unexpectedly exposed somewhere when you'd rather not be.

And a response for the poster who asked about pumping - no, in general it's not a good substitute for nursing. Especially at this age nursing is as much about comfort and calming as about nutrition. An 18-month-old child gets primary nutrition from solid foods at this point, but breastmilk continues to provide some nutrition and antibodies, and nursing is a very calming activity for a child who is not yet old enough to learn many methods of self-calming. Not to mention that carrying around a pump and bottles would be quite difficult on vacation!

Patrick

I'm reminded of a sight we saw last summer in the park along the waterfront in Lausanne, Switzerland while waiting for our boat. I saw a young couple sitting on a bench and the mother was nursing her child. I say child, not baby, because I'd estimate the child to be about 2 to 2 and a half years old. But more surprising, was that it was a muslim woman, fully covered, including face, but her bare breast quite obviously exposed while feeding the baby. I don't mean this to be some sort of politically incorrect comment, it was just such a really weird sight!

highledge

Just to add a thought- So many people have made the comment that they'd never seen a mom nursing in public. Perhaps you HAVE, but didn't know what was going on! I nursed my then babies in public and tried to be very discreet. Twice I had a well meaning person lean in for a closer look at the baby only to recoil from embarrassment when he then saw what I was doing! Sort of funny.
Letting it all hang out is probably not the best idea. Just find a quiet place.

skatterfly

Ooops, didn't mean to incite a huge political debate and I surely appreciate all of your replies. But this was exactly the kind of description I was looking for as I, too, had never seen a woman in Paris (or France for tha matter) nurse. Then again, it's not the kind of thing you see unless you're looking for it.

It's true, at 18 months she may only be nursing for bedtimes--if that. Who knows, she may even wean herself by then. But I will say I'm actually hoping that nursing her on the flight over and will help her stay calm so we can all get some rest.

Thanks for the info everyone.

~kat

Sally

I can still remember my toddler saying, "Muk, muk," when he wanted to nurse. I remember that I had a dress with a big decorative zipper down the front- I didn't wear that to the grocery story!

It is easier to nurse discreetly if you wear , perhaps,(in September's hotter weather) a tank top with a thin long or shortsleeved overshirt- this will help cover you both.

Now I have TWO 18 month old grandchildren. They are so on the go that I can't imagine them wishing to nurse much. Actually they both are fully weaned now and just use a sippy cup and occasionally a pacifier for naps.

By that time the baby will probably just nurse at night or nap time. Have fun and don't worry about it. Take some small toys and a sippy cup, and then you can easily distract the baby when you want to.

Europeans really enjoy babies and make a big fuss over them.

Juging from my own grandchildren's activity level, I think I might get a leash if I were going to travel with them!