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Looking for input on where to go...

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I am planning a trip to the Caribbean in Nov of this year to celebrate our 25th anniversary but cannot decide where to go.
We are in our early 40's and have never been to the Caribbean. We are looking for an all inclusive resort and originally wanted adult only but not sure we would see many families in Nov?
Our priorities are relaxing on the beach, good food-but prefer somewhat casual atmosphere, great cocktails, some sort of night life and activities such as snorkeling, hiking, horseback riding, zip lining.
I've always wanted to go to Aruba but on my budget of $3500. I now know i can't afford that-even in the off season! So...l've begun looking at Jamaica - not sure where-and Punta Cana, DR. There are so many mixed reviews though my head is just spinning trying to decide on an island and resort! If anyone has any input I would greatly appreciate it.

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