I think it's hard to generalize. All the islands are "safe" if you are discreet, but only a scant few islands are welcoming in the sense that people won't be bothered by public displays of affection.

You'll probably find a more welcoming atmosphere on islands like St. Barth, Aruba, and Curacao. Certainly Saba, but there's very little to do there except for diving. You could also look at Martinique, but it's difficult to get to.

I wouldn't even count out Jamaica. Your friends would be safe at any major resort, and there's even a lovely hotel in Port Antonio that's owned by a lesbian couple, but it's hard to get to Port Antonio without renting a car, and I wouldn't recommend driving in Jamaica.

Your friends will likely find more harassment in the D.R. or Puerto Rico just because they are women (at least from the locals), irrespective of their couples status. But in general, Caribbean people are very conservative and very religious, and even on an island like Aruba, there's been difficulty expanding marriage laws to include same-sex couples. Saba is the only island in the entire Caribbean region where gay marriage is legal.

Ah, I didn't even think of the female "harrasment" aspect of the DR. That even annoys me so I can imagine they would find it more annoying...

We just got back from Barbados and would love to go there with them but not sure if it is a good destination yet. We aren't expecting to find anywhere that accepts PDAS (hell, it's not even accepted where we live in the states). We just want to go somewhere that will be "friendly". I don't want them to be uncomfortable if they say, go out to dinner together, go horse riding together, lay out on the beach together, etc.

If you are planning on being discreet about public displays of affection, I wouldn't even worry about it. Just go and enjoy. As you said, there are places in the US where this ignorance & non-acceptance happens....so just use the same judgement that you would here to avoid any issues. It sucks that you have to worry about this....but unfortunately, ignorance can't be cured with some people. Sad.

I've seen gay couples at virtually every resort I've ever been to in the Caribbean. While they might get some funny looks if they insist on sleeping together in a double bed, it's just not going to be an issue if they aren't holding hands and kissing in most places. No one is likely to ask unless they insist on telling.

I forgot to mention Sandcastle on the Beach in St. Croix. It's a great little hotel that is now lesbian-owned and draws a mixed (though mostly gay) crowd, and they have a beautiful beach there. And it's not expensive (nor is it luxurious). St. Croix isn't any different than most Caribbean islands in that the locals aren't open to public displays of any kind, but it's a friendly place.

Yes, it is unfortunate you aren't interested in Mexico. The 'mayan riviera' Playa del Carmen, Akumal, Tulum, Isla Mujeres) is what I was coming to suggest.

And yes you are absolutely correct about Jamaica.

i think st. maarten would be a very good choice. i searched "gay st. maarten" & found a slew of sites. one mentions that there are over 100 gay friendly hotels/rests on island. i think it's ok for me to say the french seem a bit more accepting.

also, i'm not gay but usually travel with my best girlfriend. we've been numerous islands & no one seemed interested in whether we were or not.

My nephew and his partner have been to Turks & Caicos many times per my suggestion. NO PROBLEMS at all. In fact the reason they went there was because I told them we had met many gay couples there and they were not uncomfortable at all.

A close friend and his husband have been to St. John several times and thought it was great, and without any issues. One trip they stayed at Caneel Bay and the second they rented a villa.