Morning Becomes Electra: Thingorjus Bathed in Grecian Sunlight
Aug 30th, 2007, 07:07 AM
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Morning Becomes Electra: Thingorjus Bathed in Grecian Sunlight
Morning Becomes Electra: Thingorjus Bathed in Grecian Sunlight
This is the tale of three children kissed by the gods of Mount Olympus. There is Keithias (Keith), the Hephaestion of Thingorjus, who is favoured with dark, brooding looks and large hands (in which one can often find hand-held video games and a ringing cell phone that plays the theme from "Beaches," much to the chagrin of his husband).
Next, we have the lovely, yet slightly dizzy and vertically challenged, Muffy Drexel St. Petersburg von Hohenloewe Barstool McSwigin. Muffy is a madcap heiress who never goes anywhere without a pack of ciggies, a deck of cards, a martini, or the phone number of a good divorce attorney. She has been known to wear Laplander reindeer-milking costumes for tea with her mother at the Union League. Rumor has it that she was asked to leave Bryn Mawr in her sophomore year--and in the middle of the night.
And finally, there is moi, Thingorjus, who hasn't eaten since 1972 and wears Brioni suits to the Acme to buy skim milk for his French bulldog, Jackie O. All of Fodorville hangs off my cheekbones, sweetie darling.
These three Muses of Antigone, Sycophants of Theseus, Prayer rugs of Lexus traveled to the ancient land of Greece, specifically to the magical places of Thessaloniki, Rodos, and Athina. And this is their story....................
We all boarded the Olympic flight from JFK without incident. Muffy wore a Bless halter dress, espadrilles from her last honeymoon on the Costa Smerelda, and carried a Fauchon tote that her housekeeper, Henny, normally uses to transport empty gin bottles out to the trash so the neighbors won't see.
Keith was dressed up in cargo shorts and an LL Bean polo, forever looking like a 7th-grader at sleep-away camp.
I wore a simple outfit from Zegna and brought along my Goyard St. Louis tote full of books, Nyquil, Advil, and chocolate milk mix for my 7th-grader husband. Unfortunately, they won't allow me to bring my Holland & Holland hunting rifle onto the plane.
There was hardly anyone in Business Class, save a lone man in an ill-fitting blue suit of unsavory origin and a woman with a baby. Muffy wanted to ask this woman where she got her baby, but I was adamant that not all women where like her sister-in-law, Wanda, and bought their children on the Russian black market. "Muffy, leave that poor woman alone," I hissed.
The Champagne flowed for Muffy and me, and the chocolate milk flowed for my Keith during our nine-hour flight to Athina. The food was unmemorable. I do remember some sort of grape leaf filled with cheese. I think it is called dolmades.
Our plane landed on time and we de-boarded to retrieve our Louis Vuitton trunks and Keith's Samsonite suitcase, which was purchased at Abraham and Strauss in 1967. WORD OF WARNING: DO NOT TRY TO PULL A 100-LB TRUNK OFF OF LUGGAGE CAROUSEL AFTER DRINKING 7 GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE. I was so dizzy that I barely made it to the Aegean flight to Thessaloniki without numerous trips to the toilet.
Aegean Business Class to Thessaloniki was uneventful and very short. Unfortunately, you have to walk onto the plane from one of those buses, which is not pleasant in 105 F heat and you have plane exhaust blowing in your face. One of the FA's on the flight was very handsome and wore skin-tight blue pants. I think ALL of us liked that VERY much. "Keith, sweetie, keep your eyes on your magazine," I bellowed.
We arrived in Thessaloniki on time. (I must say I was very impressed with Aegean Air. I highly recommend them to anyone.) We got a taxi to our hotel in Thessaloniki--The Makedonia Palace. The fare was 13 euros.
The Makedonia Palace was a huge concrete-block monstrosity reminiscent of the architecture of some Soviet-satellite country. I half-expected Josef Tito to come waltzing out from the lobby. Our reception was VERY cool. You would get a better welcome at Castle Dracula, sweetie darling. We would later find out that most Thessalonians would have to look up the word "smile" in a dictionary.
Our rooms were very nice, however. The interior of the hotel did not match the exterior at all. All of our furniture was modern and visually appealing. The bathrooms were very large, with a nice assortment of bath products--the line was called Apivita. The only complaint was that the hallways were NOT air conditioned and we were hit in the face with a blast of hot air every time we opened our door.
The restaurants in this hotel were VERY EXPENSIVE. The lounge off of the lobby charged a whopping 14 euros for a HORRID martini. I ordered one and it arrived the color of seawater and sporting a--I am gagging--a a a a LIME!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess in Thessaloniki a dry martini means LOTS AND LOTS of dry vermouth. The Bloody Marys weren't any better because tomato juice in Greece is basically red water. To make up for it, however, the restaurant where breakfast is served had the most marvelous lox/cream cheese/crusty brown bread sandwich imaginable. It was covered with chopped onion and capers and was TDF!!!!!! The breakfast buffet was also wonderful, with many hot and cold items, including waffles, eggs, and chocolate cake!! The coffee was horrible, however. Why do they serve Nescafe in hotels in Greece???????????
The marble lobby was very large, cool, and had numerous seating areas where one could read the free English-language newspapers available. There were several restaurants and gift shops located in the lobby. The swimming pool was behind the hotel, along a stretch of promenade that bordered the port of Thessaloniki. The pool was very lovely, with many lounge chairs and poolside bar service.
It was a LONG hike into the city, however, especially in the hot sun. Luckily, passing the White Tower, the first thing you see when you leave the promenade to enter the city proper is a STARBUCKS. An ice-cold frappaccino is very welcome after a walk under the gaze of a merciless sun.
Much of this area of the city is devoted to shopping. The main shopping street is called "Tsimski." Some notable shops here are Longchamp, Guy Laroche, and Lacoste. There was a jewellery store called something like "Marina" that had very beautiful things. Muffy bought some earrings for a friend. This street leads to Aristotelous Sq. where you will find all kinds of restaurants, banks, book stores, and cheap jewellery stands. We ate a place called Aristotelous here--recommended by FlannerUK--and were delighted by the mezes and fish. The white wine, served in a pitcher, was kind of watery, but very refreshing.
We shopped for sunglasses. Sweetie darling, in Greece designer SUNGLASSES are the equivalent of a Marc Jacobs' bag in Manhattan. You better work, beotch!!!!!!! Throw the attitude on Tsimski with your Ferre or Richmond aviators.
The next day we headed for the Archaeological Museum to see all the beautiful gold jewellery culled from the grave in Macedonia. It was unbelievable--rings, ram-headed bracelets, a diadem that resembled a field of gold wildflowers. It was all so beautiful that you just couldn't take your eyes off of it. I thought Muffy was going to pry open a case and shove some baubles into her antique Fortuny bag. The Derveni Crater is also on display here. It depicts a maidens dancing with a satyr and should not be missed. (Muff said that the depiction reminded her of her ex-husband, Claus, whom she divorced when she caught him in Miami with several waitresses from the IHOP.)
We got into an argument with one of the guards because she said I crawled up on top of a display case to get a better view. She spoke very good English because she understood what "ugly shrew" meant. I guess we were lucky we weren't evicted.
We liked Thessaloniki, especially the Archaeological Museum. However, we were put off by the coldness of many of the people. The only people we saw who looked remotely happy were the teens who hung out at Starbucks. Even the maids at our hotel turned their heads when they saw us walking in the hallway. I wonder why this is because it is such a sharp contrast to the rest of Greece, especially a place like Rodos.
Next, off to Rodos................ (to be continued)
This is the tale of three children kissed by the gods of Mount Olympus. There is Keithias (Keith), the Hephaestion of Thingorjus, who is favoured with dark, brooding looks and large hands (in which one can often find hand-held video games and a ringing cell phone that plays the theme from "Beaches," much to the chagrin of his husband).
Next, we have the lovely, yet slightly dizzy and vertically challenged, Muffy Drexel St. Petersburg von Hohenloewe Barstool McSwigin. Muffy is a madcap heiress who never goes anywhere without a pack of ciggies, a deck of cards, a martini, or the phone number of a good divorce attorney. She has been known to wear Laplander reindeer-milking costumes for tea with her mother at the Union League. Rumor has it that she was asked to leave Bryn Mawr in her sophomore year--and in the middle of the night.
And finally, there is moi, Thingorjus, who hasn't eaten since 1972 and wears Brioni suits to the Acme to buy skim milk for his French bulldog, Jackie O. All of Fodorville hangs off my cheekbones, sweetie darling.
These three Muses of Antigone, Sycophants of Theseus, Prayer rugs of Lexus traveled to the ancient land of Greece, specifically to the magical places of Thessaloniki, Rodos, and Athina. And this is their story....................
We all boarded the Olympic flight from JFK without incident. Muffy wore a Bless halter dress, espadrilles from her last honeymoon on the Costa Smerelda, and carried a Fauchon tote that her housekeeper, Henny, normally uses to transport empty gin bottles out to the trash so the neighbors won't see.
Keith was dressed up in cargo shorts and an LL Bean polo, forever looking like a 7th-grader at sleep-away camp.
I wore a simple outfit from Zegna and brought along my Goyard St. Louis tote full of books, Nyquil, Advil, and chocolate milk mix for my 7th-grader husband. Unfortunately, they won't allow me to bring my Holland & Holland hunting rifle onto the plane.
There was hardly anyone in Business Class, save a lone man in an ill-fitting blue suit of unsavory origin and a woman with a baby. Muffy wanted to ask this woman where she got her baby, but I was adamant that not all women where like her sister-in-law, Wanda, and bought their children on the Russian black market. "Muffy, leave that poor woman alone," I hissed.
The Champagne flowed for Muffy and me, and the chocolate milk flowed for my Keith during our nine-hour flight to Athina. The food was unmemorable. I do remember some sort of grape leaf filled with cheese. I think it is called dolmades.
Our plane landed on time and we de-boarded to retrieve our Louis Vuitton trunks and Keith's Samsonite suitcase, which was purchased at Abraham and Strauss in 1967. WORD OF WARNING: DO NOT TRY TO PULL A 100-LB TRUNK OFF OF LUGGAGE CAROUSEL AFTER DRINKING 7 GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE. I was so dizzy that I barely made it to the Aegean flight to Thessaloniki without numerous trips to the toilet.
Aegean Business Class to Thessaloniki was uneventful and very short. Unfortunately, you have to walk onto the plane from one of those buses, which is not pleasant in 105 F heat and you have plane exhaust blowing in your face. One of the FA's on the flight was very handsome and wore skin-tight blue pants. I think ALL of us liked that VERY much. "Keith, sweetie, keep your eyes on your magazine," I bellowed.
We arrived in Thessaloniki on time. (I must say I was very impressed with Aegean Air. I highly recommend them to anyone.) We got a taxi to our hotel in Thessaloniki--The Makedonia Palace. The fare was 13 euros.
The Makedonia Palace was a huge concrete-block monstrosity reminiscent of the architecture of some Soviet-satellite country. I half-expected Josef Tito to come waltzing out from the lobby. Our reception was VERY cool. You would get a better welcome at Castle Dracula, sweetie darling. We would later find out that most Thessalonians would have to look up the word "smile" in a dictionary.
Our rooms were very nice, however. The interior of the hotel did not match the exterior at all. All of our furniture was modern and visually appealing. The bathrooms were very large, with a nice assortment of bath products--the line was called Apivita. The only complaint was that the hallways were NOT air conditioned and we were hit in the face with a blast of hot air every time we opened our door.
The restaurants in this hotel were VERY EXPENSIVE. The lounge off of the lobby charged a whopping 14 euros for a HORRID martini. I ordered one and it arrived the color of seawater and sporting a--I am gagging--a a a a LIME!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess in Thessaloniki a dry martini means LOTS AND LOTS of dry vermouth. The Bloody Marys weren't any better because tomato juice in Greece is basically red water. To make up for it, however, the restaurant where breakfast is served had the most marvelous lox/cream cheese/crusty brown bread sandwich imaginable. It was covered with chopped onion and capers and was TDF!!!!!! The breakfast buffet was also wonderful, with many hot and cold items, including waffles, eggs, and chocolate cake!! The coffee was horrible, however. Why do they serve Nescafe in hotels in Greece???????????
The marble lobby was very large, cool, and had numerous seating areas where one could read the free English-language newspapers available. There were several restaurants and gift shops located in the lobby. The swimming pool was behind the hotel, along a stretch of promenade that bordered the port of Thessaloniki. The pool was very lovely, with many lounge chairs and poolside bar service.
It was a LONG hike into the city, however, especially in the hot sun. Luckily, passing the White Tower, the first thing you see when you leave the promenade to enter the city proper is a STARBUCKS. An ice-cold frappaccino is very welcome after a walk under the gaze of a merciless sun.
Much of this area of the city is devoted to shopping. The main shopping street is called "Tsimski." Some notable shops here are Longchamp, Guy Laroche, and Lacoste. There was a jewellery store called something like "Marina" that had very beautiful things. Muffy bought some earrings for a friend. This street leads to Aristotelous Sq. where you will find all kinds of restaurants, banks, book stores, and cheap jewellery stands. We ate a place called Aristotelous here--recommended by FlannerUK--and were delighted by the mezes and fish. The white wine, served in a pitcher, was kind of watery, but very refreshing.
We shopped for sunglasses. Sweetie darling, in Greece designer SUNGLASSES are the equivalent of a Marc Jacobs' bag in Manhattan. You better work, beotch!!!!!!! Throw the attitude on Tsimski with your Ferre or Richmond aviators.
The next day we headed for the Archaeological Museum to see all the beautiful gold jewellery culled from the grave in Macedonia. It was unbelievable--rings, ram-headed bracelets, a diadem that resembled a field of gold wildflowers. It was all so beautiful that you just couldn't take your eyes off of it. I thought Muffy was going to pry open a case and shove some baubles into her antique Fortuny bag. The Derveni Crater is also on display here. It depicts a maidens dancing with a satyr and should not be missed. (Muff said that the depiction reminded her of her ex-husband, Claus, whom she divorced when she caught him in Miami with several waitresses from the IHOP.)
We got into an argument with one of the guards because she said I crawled up on top of a display case to get a better view. She spoke very good English because she understood what "ugly shrew" meant. I guess we were lucky we weren't evicted.
We liked Thessaloniki, especially the Archaeological Museum. However, we were put off by the coldness of many of the people. The only people we saw who looked remotely happy were the teens who hung out at Starbucks. Even the maids at our hotel turned their heads when they saw us walking in the hallway. I wonder why this is because it is such a sharp contrast to the rest of Greece, especially a place like Rodos.
Next, off to Rodos................ (to be continued)
Aug 30th, 2007, 07:21 AM
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MM, I know you've had a rough year with horrible personal tragedy. But I think this post shows the old (and I mean that in the kind way) Thingorjus is back in full regalia and rare form. The meds must be working.
Great post. Anxious for more.
Great post. Anxious for more.
Aug 30th, 2007, 07:39 AM
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I believe that's "Mourning Becomes Electra," sweetie darling. I sat through an absolutely interminable version of it in San Francisco one week.
Did I recognize an allusion to "Absolutely Fabulous"?
I see you're back in form again. What a great trip report!
Did I recognize an allusion to "Absolutely Fabulous"?
I see you're back in form again. What a great trip report!
Aug 30th, 2007, 09:36 AM
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Um, hello???? Of course I know that Eugene O'Neill's play is entitled "Mourning Becomes Electra." I do have an English degree from Dartmouth. Blimey.
Stop being a retired English teacher for one moment, Peg.
I was making an allusion to the "morning light" bathing my gorgeous face.
More to come later on. I don't have time to write this minute as I am simply swamped with work.
I do actually have a job, sweetie darling.
Thingorjus
Ciao
Stop being a retired English teacher for one moment, Peg.
I was making an allusion to the "morning light" bathing my gorgeous face.
More to come later on. I don't have time to write this minute as I am simply swamped with work.
I do actually have a job, sweetie darling.
Thingorjus
Ciao
Aug 30th, 2007, 09:59 AM
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A job??? A real job with regular people? That spoils my whole illusion about you. I thought you were only decorative? Sigh. Anyway, keep the report coming, it is better than a Danielle Steele novel!!!
LOL
Aug 30th, 2007, 11:36 AM
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We have a new champion! Best trip report ever. I'm the sort of Philistine who hauls his empty gin bottles to the curb in a paper sack, but it's good to see that somewhere in the world standards are being upheld. I can't wait to read more!
