Morning Becomes Electra: Thingorjus Bathed in Grecian Sunlight
Aug 30th, 2007, 08:04 PM
#42
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The night before we left Thessaloniki, we packed our bags and went for a swim in the fabulous pool. Actually, Keith and I packed our bags. Muffy called the front desk and asked for the "butler" to come up and pack for her. "Muffy, Muffy," I said shaking my head, "This is not the Mandarin Oriental. There is no butler service here. You are going to pack your own clothes." She looked at me the way a man looks at his wife when she asks him to do a load of wash. Absolutely helpless.
Fortunately, Muffy works well under pressure and she found a chambermaid to come and pack for her. I think it cost her a carton of Marlboro cigs and bottle of Mitsouko.( Muffy initially tried to give the maid $50, but everyone knows that American money is worth less than toilet paper in Europe right now.)
After all that packing was taken care of, we lounged by the pool and had a couple bottles of wine that we bought in town. Some woman sitting next to us told us that a famous singer was performing at the hotel that night and we should go see her. I didn't want to take this woman's advice because she was sporting a babushka over a head of curlers. What, sweetie, darling, is Ethyl coming over to help you cut coupons whilst you plot ways to get Ricky to buy you an original Don Loper??????????? Please!
But, wait, it gets worse!!! There were a bunch of vodka salesmen staying at the hotel and some were at the pool. One "Stayin' Alive" John Travolta-type was wearing red Calvin Klein underwear as his bathing suit!!!!!!!! When my Keith first saw this man he exclaimed, "I had those exact same underpants when I was in high school. My mom used to buy them for me at Sam's Club." (It took us an hour to explain what Sam's Club was to Muffy. We told her it was like K-Mart, but without the class.)
As this man emerged from the pool, his thin body dripping with water, Muffy started to sing a little ditty:
"A tiskit
A tasket
That man's got
No basket."
Oh, Muffy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Later on that night we did go to the cocktail lounge in the hotel to listen to that famous singer. I think she was Portuguese or Brazilian or even from Mozambique. She was a heavy black woman with a very powerful voice who kind of reminded me of Miriam Makeba. For the life of me I can't remember her name, but she was very good.
A few Bulgarian men tried to buy Muffy drinks, but she was way out of their league. I told one that unless he had a castle in the Loire, he could forget about even lighting Muffy's cig.
The next morning, as we prepared to leave for the airport, Keith and I saw the pool lifeguard leave Muffy's room!!!!!!! What????? He looked like he was about 19!!!!!!!!! When questioned, Muffy admitted giving him her room number when she went to get ice at the pool. She couldn't remember his name, however. She said it was something like "Devin" or "Flanders"--- the kind of name a guy who worked at Abercrombie & Fitch would have.
"But, Muffy, this is Greece. I don't think "Devin" is a Greek name," I said haltingly. "Oh, I guess you are right," she replied, "I must be thinking of the pool boy I met at Betty Ford last year. It is kind of hard to keep them all separated."
They have pool boys at Betty Ford?
Pushing Muffy and Keith into a cab, we head for the Thessaloniki Airport. The airport is very small and it takes us all of 5 minutes to check in. We continue on to the Business Class Lounge to relax and wait for our flight to Rodos. The lounge is very nice, with leather couches, a bar with wine and spirits, Internet access, and food. On her way to the bar--I am hoping just for a cup of coffee--Muffy trips on her Louboutin shoes (the tie that goes around the ankle came loose) and she goes FLYING into the bar, knocking everything over. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The FA who mans the desk comes to Muffy's aid as Keith and I look on. We know not to interfere because we have seen Muffy scrape herself off of a Paris sewer, after an all-night drinking binge, and brush herself off to go shopping at Colette.
"Muffy, darling, you have cake on your shoe," I call out. Keith says, "Cake? They have cake? Why didn't anyone tell me they have cake?"
And people wonder why I contemplate putting a cow bell around my husband's neck when he leaves the house.
To be continued................
Fortunately, Muffy works well under pressure and she found a chambermaid to come and pack for her. I think it cost her a carton of Marlboro cigs and bottle of Mitsouko.( Muffy initially tried to give the maid $50, but everyone knows that American money is worth less than toilet paper in Europe right now.)
After all that packing was taken care of, we lounged by the pool and had a couple bottles of wine that we bought in town. Some woman sitting next to us told us that a famous singer was performing at the hotel that night and we should go see her. I didn't want to take this woman's advice because she was sporting a babushka over a head of curlers. What, sweetie, darling, is Ethyl coming over to help you cut coupons whilst you plot ways to get Ricky to buy you an original Don Loper??????????? Please!
But, wait, it gets worse!!! There were a bunch of vodka salesmen staying at the hotel and some were at the pool. One "Stayin' Alive" John Travolta-type was wearing red Calvin Klein underwear as his bathing suit!!!!!!!! When my Keith first saw this man he exclaimed, "I had those exact same underpants when I was in high school. My mom used to buy them for me at Sam's Club." (It took us an hour to explain what Sam's Club was to Muffy. We told her it was like K-Mart, but without the class.)
As this man emerged from the pool, his thin body dripping with water, Muffy started to sing a little ditty:
"A tiskit
A tasket
That man's got
No basket."
Oh, Muffy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Later on that night we did go to the cocktail lounge in the hotel to listen to that famous singer. I think she was Portuguese or Brazilian or even from Mozambique. She was a heavy black woman with a very powerful voice who kind of reminded me of Miriam Makeba. For the life of me I can't remember her name, but she was very good.
A few Bulgarian men tried to buy Muffy drinks, but she was way out of their league. I told one that unless he had a castle in the Loire, he could forget about even lighting Muffy's cig.
The next morning, as we prepared to leave for the airport, Keith and I saw the pool lifeguard leave Muffy's room!!!!!!! What????? He looked like he was about 19!!!!!!!!! When questioned, Muffy admitted giving him her room number when she went to get ice at the pool. She couldn't remember his name, however. She said it was something like "Devin" or "Flanders"--- the kind of name a guy who worked at Abercrombie & Fitch would have.
"But, Muffy, this is Greece. I don't think "Devin" is a Greek name," I said haltingly. "Oh, I guess you are right," she replied, "I must be thinking of the pool boy I met at Betty Ford last year. It is kind of hard to keep them all separated."
They have pool boys at Betty Ford?
Pushing Muffy and Keith into a cab, we head for the Thessaloniki Airport. The airport is very small and it takes us all of 5 minutes to check in. We continue on to the Business Class Lounge to relax and wait for our flight to Rodos. The lounge is very nice, with leather couches, a bar with wine and spirits, Internet access, and food. On her way to the bar--I am hoping just for a cup of coffee--Muffy trips on her Louboutin shoes (the tie that goes around the ankle came loose) and she goes FLYING into the bar, knocking everything over. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The FA who mans the desk comes to Muffy's aid as Keith and I look on. We know not to interfere because we have seen Muffy scrape herself off of a Paris sewer, after an all-night drinking binge, and brush herself off to go shopping at Colette.
"Muffy, darling, you have cake on your shoe," I call out. Keith says, "Cake? They have cake? Why didn't anyone tell me they have cake?"
And people wonder why I contemplate putting a cow bell around my husband's neck when he leaves the house.
To be continued................
Aug 30th, 2007, 08:43 PM
#43
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I see the resemblance to Noel and Evelyn. But I've always pictured you more like Eve Arden in "Our Miss Brooks".
You're not wearing Eve's bun and bangs hairdo,however, as a flirty flip is more your style. Oh,did you know the bun and bangs was so popular at one time, it became a party game on Fire Island?
The resemblance to Eve is in the arched eyebrow, followed by a tart little comment, and a long, withering, glance which you have honed to perfection.
We await your every word.
You're not wearing Eve's bun and bangs hairdo,however, as a flirty flip is more your style. Oh,did you know the bun and bangs was so popular at one time, it became a party game on Fire Island?
The resemblance to Eve is in the arched eyebrow, followed by a tart little comment, and a long, withering, glance which you have honed to perfection.
We await your every word.
Aug 31st, 2007, 12:38 AM
#45
"Pool boys at Betty Ford?" My, my, dirty secrets are being dished out right and left. Keep up the high-fashioned smut!
Burning questions:
Why did Muffy really fall? Did she notice a filled "basket"?
Was there really any cake for poor Keith?
Will Ralph Fiennes and Muffy join the mile high club together?
Will they ever make it to Rhodos?
Burning questions:
Why did Muffy really fall? Did she notice a filled "basket"?
Was there really any cake for poor Keith?
Will Ralph Fiennes and Muffy join the mile high club together?
Will they ever make it to Rhodos?
Aug 31st, 2007, 03:30 AM
#47
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Hi,
Great report. Did you like Thessaloniki? I have been to Greece serveral times and have not thought about going to Thessaloniki. Despite the martini's is it worth a "look see"? I love Rhodos and am looking forward to hear about your adventures.
yipper
Great report. Did you like Thessaloniki? I have been to Greece serveral times and have not thought about going to Thessaloniki. Despite the martini's is it worth a "look see"? I love Rhodos and am looking forward to hear about your adventures.
yipper
Aug 31st, 2007, 05:50 AM
#53
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"When questioned, Muffy admitted giving him her room number when she went to get ice at the pool."
Hmmmm. So carrying out that Eugene O'Neill theme started in the first post, should this episode be called
"The Ice Man Cometh?"
Hmmmm. So carrying out that Eugene O'Neill theme started in the first post, should this episode be called
"The Ice Man Cometh?"
Aug 31st, 2007, 06:28 AM
#56
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thingorgus!
you are the funniest writer!
you must tell us what you have published!
if not get busy - we are all lovin' your writing.
i want to know more about you, your life, your family.
i can see you doing a movie on your travels.
LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!
you are the funniest writer!
you must tell us what you have published!
if not get busy - we are all lovin' your writing.
i want to know more about you, your life, your family.
i can see you doing a movie on your travels.
LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!
