FainaAgain

I would invite your sweet niece and and adult who's traveling with her, and cancel your sister's invitation. She wanted the niece to go to the beach instead of her, right?

Or send your sister a list of nearby motels.

Why do you let your family members push you around?

girlonthego

I think you should tell your sister to tell the neice that she can come if she doesn't mind sleeping on the floor. That is if you wouldn't mind the extra kid coming. If you do, say tell her the condo is too small. Maybe she can come next time.
I also hate when people assume that my kids won't mind sleeping on the floor and I am footing the bill for the room. I don't mind them sleeping on the floor if Grandma needs a bed to sleep over, but if I am paying for a condo for a week, my kids are getting beds.

socialworker

HI--sorry I did not read all the replies. I suggest that you have a conversation w/your sister *before* you make plans together and make it clear that you are only extending the invitation to her. If your family always does this, as you say in your post, it is--unfairly--your problem to solve and that can only be done with excrutiatingly clear communication before they can do it again...Good luck.

GoTravel

I just thought of this; if your niece puts your family over the fire code limit (usually heads in beds; if there is one king, two queens, and a sleeper sofa, the fire code limit would be 8), the property management company will evict you with no refund.

Before you think that they would not notice, rental companies watch this like a hawk because so many people try and have house parties in rental units. Also, it overburdens housekeeping.

FainaAgain

And I wouldn't leave it up to your sister to explain it to your niece. Who knows what she can say to the girl!

nina

I don't see a problem here. If you truly don't want the niece there, just tell her that the place is too small for so many people and you don't want to be crowded. I would also tell my sister not to invite people to my condo without checking with me first, that's very presumptuous. Let your sister un-invite her. Why on earth would you get to be the bad guy?

If it's just the sleeping arrangements that bother you, tell her that you and your son will not give up your beds or room, and that your niece will have to sleep in the living room or in sis's room on the floor a blow-up mattress (supplied by sis or niece of course).

I wouldn't even think of giving up your son's bed to the niece, I can't imagine who would!

PS, this doesn't normally happen when people split vacation rentals. Anytime I've done it, it's with the understanding that only the immediate families of those renting will be staying there.

kgh8m

Invite your sister to think this through. It's very possible that the teenaged niece will want to do activities than the little boys and your son will not - and then who will drive her there or do those activities with her?

If it's a very small condo, you guys are going to be too close for comfort. Your sister either need to pony up for the bigger rental, or dis-invite (and apologize) to your niece.

It's not fair to make everyone cranky from a too-tight living arrangement just because your sister was trying to be nice without any forethought.

Best to handle this ASAP, before the niece gets her hopes up. She is young, and has plenty of other fun things to do this summer.

cantstayhome

Alright, it's not fair for people to blame you for your sister's lack of manners (I have 3 of them and know that it doesn't matter what you say, they still do what they want). So, I give you the benefit of the doubt that you did tell her the invitation was for her and the 2 boys, and she just chose not to hear that part or selectively remembered what she wanted. But, as the saying goes, wrong me once, shame on you, wrong me twice, shame on me! I put all my invites in e-mail now with specific details! Especially the ones to family members!

Let the niece come (I like the babysitter idea) and make the sister sleep on the floor!

moldyhotelsaregross

I loved the idea of having your sister foot the bill for the larger condo. LOL!

Neopolitan

Anonymous, I think you miss the point if you really believe the sister calling the niece is the "dirty work". The problem is that no matter who calls, the niece was invited by one sister and now will be uninvited by the "mean, nasty one".
The sister who invited her may do the call, but let's face it, the conversation will go something like this, "I'm so sorry. If it were up to me I'd love to have you there, but Aunt Susie doesn't think there's enough room and she doesn't want you to come."

No_name

I too love the idea of getting the larger condo and having your sis pay for it.

Lori

Travel only with your own immediate family, i.e. kids, spouse. Never Never include anyone else. It's pretty simple if you stick to those rules. You may have to "downgrade" your accommodations a bit but I'd prefer to have a smaller condo, less expensive hotel/whatever then a bunch of relatives sharing space with me anytime Tell the whole bunch you have changed your plans. Maybe I sound heartless but relatives and sharing accommodations are not a good mix for a fun vacation (particularly one that may be costly)

Suki

Gee, some of our best vacations have been spent sharing a beach house with friends or family. It is just the type of vacation that lends itself to a bigger crowd. A lot of people who have replied have overlooked the fact that your sister is paying for half of the condo. She isn't just a guest; I agree that inviting someone else under those circumstances would be very rude. Still if you don't want the niece because the place is too small you need to speak with your sister and explain the situation. No matter who tells her though she will know that it is coming from you. You just have to be OK with that.

socialworker

I missed the part about "splitting" the rental--i.e the paying for it part, if that is what you meant. It seems that if Sis invited niece, she is inviting her to share *her* half and not yours....It is completely appropriate for you to assume--altho from what you say, you will have to tell her clearly and not assume--that she will make any accomodations that are necessary, like an air mattress, etc.

trippinkpj

If someone in the family har an air bed (I love my Aerobeds!), that solves the problem. Since your niece is the last invitee, she would get the air bed. You son should get his bed.

Seamus

Because they can.

gail

Refer to post above on the ark I am building - you keep the sister, I get the sweet niece on the ark.

Kingfisherqueen

LOL Gail. What if my niece invites a few extra people? Will she be able to bring them along?

Wednesday

We just went through a similar thing with my mom and aunt, bottom line was that we figured out that my aunt makes us all miserable and angry because we allow her to. Once we backed off from her family, made other plans, and just see them less frequently at other family events, we are much happier. It took alot for my mom to get over her guilt and not to feel like a bad guy, but I think that is how they wanted her to feel. We don't care how we are viewed anymore and we are much more content now that we are more in control. Make the call.

Kingfisherqueen

I decided to tell sis it was okay as long as niece understood she would have to sleep on the floor. I do love my niece and would like to see her.

I'm sure sis was originally thinking "babysitter." I got an email from her this morning. It seems she just realized that a) it's beach week for graduating seniors, b) as a graduating senior, niece will not be putting changing her toddler cousin's diapers at the top of her agenda, and c) she will probably have friends with her.

If I ever lose my mind again and decide to share a rental with my family, I will be sure to have a "we must all agree BEFORE extra invitations are issued" discussion You would think it would be obvious to adults of our ages, but I guess not.

Thanks to everyone for your responses.