Ruth

Renee-Your priority for getting married is the color of the ocean water? So it will look good in pictures? IMO, you have your PRIORITIES mixed up! Marriage is about love and commitment! Not, how the WEDDING will look in pictures! No wonder 1/2 of all marriages end up in divorce. Anyone who is more worried about how the wedding will look in pictures instead of the MEANING and COMMITMENT of the vows, should NOT get married!

Renee

I usually don't respond to posts such as this, but I can't help it. I have to acknowledge when someone goes out of their way to give me a good laugh. Ruth, you're kidding my right? Please tell me you're kidding me? Now my wedding is doomed because I don't want to look back on my wedding pics and think, good thing I travelled 20 hours flying time round trip, spent over $10,000 so when I look back I can think, "Great, looks like I got married by Lake Michigan." You're brilliant, why didn't I think of that? Because I'm picky with my hard earned $ does not make me likely for divorce. My parents have been happily married for over 30 years, I have an idea of how to make a marriage work. I can only imagine how long a marriage would last with someone so judgemental. I'm sure you're familiar with the term "making a mountain out of a mole hill?" Good luck, with whoever you wed, they are going to need it, and a good prenup too. By the way, all I asked was suggestions for a Hawaiian resort with beautiful water as a backdrop. If all you can give me are your insults, go start a forum of your own, you obviously have the time for it. To innocent by-readers, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I've let Fodor's know about the problem with this forum, maybe if enough complain, they'll finally start utilizing their TCPIP software to contact these people about the problem.
Thanks for your time,
Renee

Renee

Hey Alex!
Good to hear from you again! Well, if it's good enough for Bill Gates, how can I possibly complain? I'll look it up on the internet and have them send me some info. Thanks for all of your gracious help and understanding.
Take care,
Renee

ScratchingMyHead

Have to agree with Ruth, anyone who is so damn picky of how their wedding pictures look is too immature to get married.

As to your hard earned $10 grand to pay for this--you would be better off to invest your money or buy a house with it . Any financial planner will tell you that. Get married in your parents backyard and SAVE your hard-earned money!

JC

Renee -

I sympathize with you. It's too bad you had to deal with that diatribe when all you're trying to do is plan a nice wedding! Anyway, I just wanted to give you what little advice I have. I agree with Alex that the Kahala Mandarin would be a wonderful place to stay and get married. They have wonderful guest rooms and a nice little gazebo where you can get married. I've stayed in many of the best hotels in Hawaii, including the Grand Wailea, Kealani and the Ritz Carlton in Kapalua, and the Mandarin Oriental is the best in terms of accomodations and service. I'm sure they can help you plan a beautiful wedding there. On the other hand, I also agree that Lanai is a definite option. I haven't stayed there yet (I will in May), but I understand that the Manale Bay and the Lodge at Koele are beautiful, uncrowded and romantic. The Kahala Mandarin, while a beautiful hotel, is in Honolulu, albeit away from the hustle & bustle, so you may not feel you have a sufficiently romantic ambiance. To further add to your confusion, though, I saw weddings at the Grand Wailea and Kealani when I stayed there. They all looked beautiful. However, if and when I ever get married, I probably will do so at the Mandarin Oriental since it's my absolute favorite hotel in the world.

Joy

There is no way that the beautiful pacific ocean could look like a lake.

Jim

Renee, I have to admit that I too thought "what a spoiled brat" when I read your original post: "but beautiful turquoise waters MUST be the backdrop." No one wants you to have anything but the most beautiful wedding but I do think you may have come across poorly!!!! I know you want everything to be beautiful but consider how it sounds to some people...

barbara

I'm a travel agent who was born in the Bahamas and love to travel in the Caribbean and Hawaii. If you can swing it, the most beautiful resort in Hawaii is the Four Seasons Hualalai on the Big Island. The island is quite starck and you could combine this with a trip to the island of Kauai..very lush. The water is quite differnt from the Bahamas- I know what you mean by it's beauty. The Ocean Club on Paradise Island and Pink Sands on HArbour Island are the 2 favorites there. I was an awful snob about Hawaii before visiting it, but I can't think of a more beautiful place overall. There's an incredible feeling- it smells wonderful, feels good (way less humid than FLorida- where I lived for many years- and the Bahamas). It would be Hawaii for my money..but know you'll be spoiled and want to return many times over.

Laurel & Greg

Hi Renee,

Congratulations!

My wife and I have been to both the Carribean (honeymoon) & Hawaii (anniversary). We did extensive research on both, but have only been to each once.

We read this conversation with interest, but we have a differing point of view. Don't misunderstand, we loved both places. But given the choice we would both go back to the Carribean first, without a second thought. And, we live in Seattle.

Why? Well, "Carribean" is not just one place. It is many countries and cultures. We visited the British Virgin Islands, and they were wonderful, clean, peaceful and relaxing (although not tropical). You might look into St. Lucia, which is our friend's favorite place (she is a travel agent). She says it's the most beautiful & tropical place she's ever seen.

For Hawaii - we stayed in Maui at the Hyatt. We loved our stay, but if we returned would go to a quieter island, maybe Hawaii or Kauai (sp?). We prefer less traffic, people, cars, etc. Maui is not as tropical as you would think, unless you go to Hana. My wife has been to Thailand - THAT is tropical.

As for the water - you live in Florida, you must know what Atlantic water is like. It is bright clear blue and beautiful in the Carribean. In Hawaii it is darker and not as clear but heavier and less salty. My wife swears by the beautiful water in the Carribean, Hawaii does not compare.

Given your request for clear turquoise waters, the Carribean is your choice and is a closer trip for you. We have a few photos of both on our web site, you can see it here: http://www.gmon.com.

I'm sure you will enjoy whatever you choose.

- G & L.

Fred

Renee-You are a SNOB and an immature brat to boot. You are more concerned about how your wedding pictures will look than the vows, commitment, religious significance etc. I agree with scratching, get married in your parents backyard and save your 10k. With your kind of attitude and selfishness, you will end up divorced in no time. I pity the poor sucker who is marrying you! Then again, if he puts up with your nonsense he deserves what he gets!

Ron

St. Lucia?!? Renee would have to be a damn FOOL to get married there -- full of poverty and crime like MOST of the Caribbean!!

Words of Wisdom

Some comments.

1. If you are marrying someone whom you truly love and are commited to [1] and vice versa, then the details of the wedding itself should matter very little. The main priority in planning a wedding should be that all of your close friends and relatives should be able to attend and unless all of your friends and family are wealthy and have a lot of free time, then weddings in far away places are not such great ideas after all. I once heard someone say that when you have a large wedding, you are more likely to make the extra effort to make your marriage work b/c of all the people who witnessed it.

2. The N. West coast of FL is known for beautiful beaches w/ translucent emerald waters. What about having your wedding there and saving your money to be able to go to Hawaii in the future when you really need some time to get away and relax and rejuvinate your romance?

Notes:
[1] Sure it's easy when you are young and infatuated w/ someone to utter the marriage vows but how many people really think realistically about the future? How many people think about the fact that the initial romance and excitement will ware off and there will inevitably be challenges? How many people think about the fact that there will likely be times when someone young and hot will tempt them and that taking those vows meaning resisiting the tempations?

xxx

i can't help but comment on this email train...renee, if you want blue water in your wedding pictures, then you should have blue water in your wedding pictures (however, hawaii does not have the carribean-blue water you are "dreaming" of...but a much better choice for a wedding). to all the people who are negatively commenting on renee's character and decision to marry, GIVE ME A BREAK...you can hardly determine someone's character via an email. you all obviously have way too much time on your hands...she was not asking for online marriage/relationship counseling!!! renee, enjoy your wedding planning, and have a great marriage!

Granny

Oh come on xxx, Renee is more interested in how her wedding pictures will look than the significance of the wedding itself. Who the hell is she trying to impress? Her friends, co-workers? Most of these people don't give a damn! Grown, mature women should not be so damn shallow!! And, one can get great insight into one's personality by their writing style and words chosen.

Renee is a shallow, immature girl who has no business marrying anyone!

arbitrator

As well I cannot help but to respond on this post. If Renee has always wanted her dream wedding then why shouldn't she have it? In regards to Granny, it is true that the way people choose to articulate is a general reflection of their character. Keeping this in mind, your response to Renee characterizes you as a bitter person who did not always get to fulfill their dreams. It's a shame that your dreams did not come true, but don't degrade people for living out theirs.

BeenThere

To Renee's fiance-RUN LIKE HELL!!! Take it from someone who knows, girls like Renee are more in love with getting married than being with you!

MotherOfTheGroom

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a nice wedding. But, there are some girls who are so OBSESSED with weddings and all the trimmings they forget about what is really important. Like loving someone unselfishly and unconditionally, and making that commitment in front of your family and friends. There are girls who buy bride's magazines and try to manuver every boy they date in taking that walk down the aisle. Not once, did I see Renee post anything about her fiance's or his parents wishes. Don't they count?
And, what about her family who would love to be at their wedding and can't afford Hawaii or travel the distance because of age or illness? It sounds to me like she is planning this her way and to hell with everyone else. That is not the kind of attitude and selfishness to take into a marriage!!!

anne

I hope you have a lovely wedding no matter what you decide and, more importantly, I wish you much happiness in your married life. I must share a story, though, in keeping with this string of posts. We were guests at the Mauna Kea a few years ago on the Kahala coast of the Big Island. A beautiful wedding ceremony was held on the tee box of the 3rd hole of the golf course at sunset .. simply breathtaking. However, when we went over to see the manta rays after dinner, we overheard the bride expressing her disappointment that her groom planned to get up early the next morning to get a round of golf in with his buddies before they flew home. We couldn't help but think "If he wanted to get married on the golf course, this would be a clear indication of his priorities."

mokihana

My son got married a month ago on the beach at the foot of Diamond Head. There's a secluded cove near Doris Duke's old mansion. There was a drop-dead sunset in the background. Cost? Just the minister who performed the ceremony. If you've got money to burn, there's a nice resort on the island of Lana'i. It's wonderfully secluded and perfect for a honeymoon.

xxx

I've never seen such a bunch of nasty, mean-spirted, judgmental people! Renee - I'm sure you realize that these pathetic people do not know you and they're just spewing a lot of BS.

As far as Kauai vs. Maui, I would stay away from Kauai due to the rain factor. If you must have your wedding in Kauai, go for the Hyatt Regency since it's in Poipu, the sunnier part of Kauai. Avoid Hanalei Bay - although it's a beautiful area, it also tends to rain more. Your waters would be grey, not turquise, not blue. In Maui, the Grand Wailea is beautiful and much of its grounds would serve as a wonderful backdrop to your pictures. Finally, I do love the Kahala Mandarin Oriental in Oahu. That's my 2 cents worth. I hope you have a wonderful wedding, a great honeymoon, and many happy years to come.