Ann

20% if good service, 15% if average, 25% if great, 10% if below average.

Tip Wizard

.....tight, form fitting uniform, size 4 or less: 25%
.....tight, form fitting uniform, size 10 or up: 10%

.....evident cleavage: 30%
.....evident cleavage (gluteal) hanging over her pants: 2%

.....twinkle in her eye: 20%
.....twinkle from her gold eye tooth: 10%
.....twinkle from the iddy biddy sweata balla onna duh enda her noze: 5%

The Tip Wizard

Hmmm...seems like we have an imposteur here. But Tip Wizard has got the hang of it.

Look, I had a beastly 300 pounder mishandle the breakfast plates just yesterday. When she showed up she had a piece of my rye toast off the plate, stuck to her ample bosom (butter side down). It was not pretty. What does she do? Takes it off and puts it back on the pile.

She got $1.

Bit the bait, bite me

If Rafer didn't mean this to be a troll, too bad, it is. And Tip Wizard, I'm going to make your day by rising to your bait, you porcine moron.

What on earth do you do with male waitstaff -- by your scheme, they don't get a penny, since they aren't candidates for your sexual fantasies (or are they?).

To the extent that waitstaff can decide to work at a place like Hooters, I figure they deserve sewerscum like you. But to the extent that a female may decide to make money by bringing people food and beverage in a restaurant, she deserves to be tipped based on how she does her job. Her job is not to be gaped at and judged as if in a beauty pageant.

You don't know how lucky you are you can't hear what she's thinking, too. She may be smiling at you, trough-breath, but she's thinking what an utterly repulsive jerk you are and counting the minutes until you leave. She probably washes off the money you leave for her.

Tip Wizard's

.....and if she's less than a size 4, tight fitting uniform, hint of cleavage, sweet smile AND writes her phone number on the back of the check: she gets an all expenses paid VIP tour of the Wizard's pad, and an opportunity to massage away any post-meal muscle tension the Wizard may be experiencing.

If she's good at it, she may be serving breakfast the next day.....tip? Ohhh yeaaahhh.

The Tip Wizard

Porcine moron??? Now that's not a very nice thing to call The Tip Wizard now, is it?

There are no set rules for your p.c. term "male waitstaff". If he does what he's supposed to do, he gets somewhere between 15 and 20%, 15% for adequate and less than that depending on how bad he is.

You can call me anything you want, but the fact remains that service will not get better until people stop tipping on obligation and start tipping based on ability. If the waitress/waiter know they're getting at least 15% no matter what they do, what incentive is there for them to do anything other than an average or below average job?

L

Hey, Ess, not sure I understand your comment. Yep, I tip generously in most instances (17%-25%) ... I know too many kids who need that tip for their livelihood.

The Outback ... no, I'm afraid I'm not acquainted wit the blooming onion crowd, but even there I'd never do less than 15% of net.

Thus I'd never walk w/o leaving a tip, unless it's pretty bad ... and I've had a few of those, in Paris and San Fran, where I made a decision not to tip one penny on bills that exceeded $450. I even noted on my charge slip that the service was horrible, I spoke to the staff and management, I wrote letters to Zagats ... I posted nasty comments on the restaurants' websites.

And since you might be in SF sometime, let me for the 100th time post the name of that particular crappy place: Hawthorne Lane. You'll see it as one of the city's finest, or so they claim.

So, I do hope I'm being responsive to your comment. Ciao, of course.

curious

We always tip 20%, including the wine cost. Until I read this thread it never occurred to me not to include it. If the service was lousy we'll tip 15%. I have to say though we were out with another couple and the service was horrendous. The husband wanted to leave 10% so we went back and forth discussing it and he finally convinced us by saying that with service that bad (It was almost nonexistent), that the waiter should feel lucky to get anything. We agreed so for the first time ever left 10%. I practically ran out of that restaurant because I felt so cheap, but I guess the guy really didn't deserve more.

Ess

Ok, L. Ciao to you, too.