Subject: Cowboy Baptist

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of beer and sits in
the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes
them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender
approaches and tells him, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it so it
would taste better if you bought just one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
Australia, the other is in Dublin and I'm in Texas. When we all left
Wyoming, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we were
together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it
there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always
drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders only two mugs!
All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes
back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences
on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he
laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains...

"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and
obviously I had to quit drinking.

Hasn't affected my brothers though."

That's funny bb!!

I heard a good one yesterday.

Drunks in Texas

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Bandera,
Texas. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night), flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.

At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the parking lot
and started to drive slowly down the road.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud Texan. "Tonight I'm the designated
decoy."

Oh Statia, LOL. I haven't heard any good jokes in awhile. I hope others will add theirs. Thanks for the laugh!!

What did the Dalai Lama say to the hot dog vendor?

...Make me one with everything....

These are great!

This has been my favorite joke since 3rd grade (no comments please):

What did the fish say when he bumped his head against a wall?

Dam.

I didn't get the one with hot dogs

Hi Faina, I didn't get the hot dog joke at first either - think about it or reread it tomorrow - you will get it!

Bonniebroad, I sure had fun with your joke tonight. I told it to a friend/neighbor of mine who is a Baptist and never drinks. I thought
she would die laughing.

OK, I'm so bad with jokes (remembering them) that the only one i've been able to remember is:

What's ET short for?"

and if somebody asks me I'll give you the answer

Hi alya, and the answer is.....?????
Have a great weekend.

Sorry LoveItaly,

sometimes I have the attention span of a gnat!

Now remember I didn't say was a good joke, but it's the only one I can remember without screwing up the punchline.


What's ET short for?











cos he's got little legs!

Ba dum bum! Alya that was baaad

Ooh! That's bad. Here's one in a far away land, travel related, as you can see!

Moishe is driving in Jerusalem. He's late for a meeting, is looking for a parking place, and can't find one.

In desperation, he turns towards heaven and says, "God, if you find me a parking space, I promise that I'll eat only kosher, respect Shabbas, and all the holidays."

Miraculously, a place opens up just in front of him.

He turns his face up to heaven again and says, "Never mind, I just found one!"

Nice, Orcas....hehehe

Orcas, so funny! I love it!

I HAVE A HILARIOUS STORY ... but I'd better not post it here. For my buddies who usually like my jokes, e-mail me at [email protected], and I'll send you a good one!!! (It will be worth your trouble ... )

A kangaroo hops into the Rainbow Room and orders a martini.
Bartender doesn't even blink...makes the martini and says "$25".

Kangaroo pulls the money out of her pouch and pays him.

Bartender comes by trying to make small talk and sez "We don't get many kangaroos up here".

Kangaroo sez "At these prices you won't get many more".


A skelton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.


I'm in the Jehovah Witness protection program...I have to go door to door and tell people I'm not me.


Thank you...I'll be here all week....tip the help.