ducks53

OK, assuming its not a $ matter, would you opt to stay for a wk with friends (very good ones) or at a hotel thats within a few miles? My friends are fine either way. I worry that I will wear out the welcome mat.
Also sort of like having my own space.
Whats your experience with being house guests? Thanks

doc_

Assuming money is no issue,take the Hotel. No question. Personal space and privacy is worth its weight in gold.

Johanna1

As my father just said, after my brother's family left his home after a 4-day visit, "I love them dearly, but fish and houseguests have one thing in common -- after three days, they both begin to stink."

joesorce

They're fine either way?

If they haven't INSISTED that you stay with them, they're probably praying that you choose the hotel.

BeachBoi

I only stay with friends when I am working.That way,we dont wear each other out.We come home from work,hang out,chill,go for dinner,whatevah.For vacation travel, I travel with friends and we always get along for the duration of the trip.

soccr

Why not split the difference? If they are working people, why not stay at the hotel on weeknights and with them on the weekend?

The problem with staying with friends is that both hosts and guests always feel an obligation to be more sociable with each other, spend time with each other, than you would as a hotel guest. If people have jobs, it can be exhausting to worry about crossing paths while getting ready for work or coming home exhausted -- never mind about dealing with meals. You can tell them you'd like to visit with them when you can have time together but want to stay out of their hair during the week -- it'll be MUCH easier on you as well as them.

Even if they don't work, it's worth making up some reason why you need to spend 3-4 days at the hotel (business, connect w/other friends, second honeymoon, got a freebie for FF miles -- doesn't matter what exactly) and then say you want to spend 3-4 days just with them. Everyone usually is more comfortable with that 3-day rule!

J_Correa

I'd choose the hotel. A week is a long time and as others have pointed out, your friends will feel obligated to entertain you because you are there. If you stay in a hotel, then you can come and go as you please, you can make dates to see your friends, and the rest of the time you can both go about your business.

ducks53

Thanks for all the quick replies.
They will be working for the first few days and then we have a 3 day wkend together. I think that I will just spend the 1st and last night with them.
Hey, they can come and use my hotel pool!

rb_travelerxATyahoo

Use of a pool is something I enjoy when I've had guests split their stay between my home & a hotel .... which I was going to post. I'm sure never going to be staying at a local hotel, so visiting friends at one is a good way to know what's in my neighborhood.

sgorces

Take a clue from the fact that you asked the question. You, like me, feel somewhat uncomfortable with the prospect of that much closeness. I worry about wearing out my welcome AND feeling not at home myself. The hotel is an oasis away from that discomfort. I think your friends will be left with the feeling "what a nice visit." Take the hotel.

Cassandra

Say, Ducks, not sure you're thinking about your hosts with that plan. It means that they either have to keep your dirty sheets on the beds for a week or change them twice. If I'm the hostess, I'm much rather have you there for 3 days in a row than 2 separate days separated by a week.

LN

Wise decision Ducks!!

You'll be welcome to come back again.

jor

I also have a 3 day rule when I stay with my cousin when I go skiing in the Rockies.

Spend either the first 2 or 3 days with them or the last 2 days.

rasnes5

Hotel, hotel, hotel....just turn your spare suite into a home gym-then you can offer them a bed on the Bowflex!
We have many long time friends who appreciate that we would rather spend time with them than doing laundry! If the hotel is paid by business well then even simpler-we use the pool and take them to a nifty dinner and have many home cooked dinners in-between! we all get our private space and personal downtime.
That said, we do make exeption for college nephews and their friends who are on limited $$-I have come home to delicious meals followed by sparkling
kitchens!

R5

Doylesmith

I agree with joesource. As long that they are not insistent on you staying with them, The would probably prefer you choose to stay in a hotel. You have a lot more freedom that way too. You can stay up as late as you or sleep in if you feel like it.

Miriam

DEFINITELY the hotel. In my personal experience, no matter how comfortable you are in someone's home, somehow you make a hotel room your "home" and your "space" for the time you are there. You're not on anyone's clock and if you want to be alone, you can be. If they don't mind coming to get you or you don't mind getting your own transporation to them, it's a sure bet you'll have more fun. I've done it both ways and no matter how great the company of the people, the HOTEL WINS OUT! Enjoy!

cd

ducks53
Our children live in states other then ours. One in Texas and one in Ohio. Three days is ALL we will stay in their homes. We love them to death, they are our best friends and we want it to always stay that way. We have found that 3 days is by far, without a doubt, the best amount of time for us to share the same household. I believe, IMHO, would also be the best for good friends.

ducks53

Thanks! I think its interesting that there is a consensus on 3 days.
I was going to do the day at start and end because I will arrive around dinner time and leave early in the am. Friends are near airport. With regard to sheets, they will simply leave the set on the bed in the guestroom. There is also a toddler who I adore and I love seeing him every momemt possible! But I still think its an easier visit for all to avoid a prolonged stay.

clarkgriswold

That seems really strange. I can't imagine staying with friends just one night, then leaving. Wouldn't they feel like you're saying "Thanks for the one-nighter...but now we're moving on to something better!" ?

Flyboy

Seems like we have a lot of sensible people offering good observations. I weigh in on the side of avoiding potential stress for you and your friends by making use of a hotel for the majority or all of your stay. That time when you can restore complete control; not worrying about disturbing someone at the odd hour or having the obligation to "be social" is important. It's a thoughtful gift to your friends, along with yourself.