I'm normally here offering advice about fun things to do in Asheville, but now I need some help. We will be shlepping my elderly in-laws to Asheville for two nights soon. We are staying one night at Grove Park and one night at Pisgah Inn. The in-laws are not terribly healthy and do not walk well. They have already done the Biltmore House.

I'm at a bit of a loss what to do with them that doesn't require a lot of walking. Any ideas? I suppose we will ride them around on the Parkway some the day we stay at Pisgah Inn. Are there things to do to keep them occupied at Grove Park for a few hours while we sneak away to mountain bike? (I don't think they are the kind of people to enjoy spa treatments) They seem to be interested in historical stuff and the civil war. Thanks for any ideas.

How about the Folk Art Center or a Thomas Wolfe house tour?

When was the last time they spent the day indoors, having mattress-beating sex?

Is that THE Hector?

We'll be dining at both your restaurants. That's the only thing I know for sure!

Is the Folk Art Center in the museum on Pack Square? I've not been to the Thomas Wolfe house. Is it interesting in itself, or just because of the literary connection?

Thanks for the help.

I don't know if the Thomas Wolfe house would be such a great idea or not. An arsonist torched it in 1999 (I think) and it hasn't been rebuilt yet, mainly because the structural damage was so intense. A lot of the artifacts on display were lost, but what was left has been moved to the visitor's center next door. That's all that's open now, and it might be worth a look, but I don't know how it would compare to the house...

Downtown Asheville itself is a good place to spend time, but it's pretty hilly in places. I don't know if they would be able to visit enough shops without getting bored, without having to tackle a hill. Do you think maybe they could spend some time at Pack Place, at the art museum and mineral museum? How much time, exactly, are you hoping to have to yourself?

I don't believe you mentioned when you'll be visiting "The Land of the Sky" but if you need to occupy them on a Saturday night, Shindig on the Green is a free and has local bluegrass and clogging groups. My mother is 72 years old and enjoys it.

I've also seen a "trolley" taking tourist around town but I don't know the details. A call to the Convention and Visitors Bureau (800-257-1300) should get you additional details.

If your travels take you to Cherokee (about 1.5 hours west of Asheville), they might be able to catch a show at Harrah's or spend time on the slot machines.

Finally, someone mentioned the Folk Art Center. It is east of Asheville near the Blue Ridge Parkway.

Mike Honeycutt