sam hempell

Time to let my ego out of its cage for its daily (some would say hourly) stretching exercises.

Statue of Liberty - Great, fantastic. Must see. Not. Who has time to wait 3 hours in line and then another 2 hours to tour? This is absurd. Buy yourself a postcard, send it to all your loser friends at home and say, "Hey, I'm writing you from the crown of Lady Liberty". Instead sneak inside an Irish pub and drink the darkest brew you can find.

Empire State Building - Its so cool to spend 2 hours in line so you can get way high up in the air and see all the.....well, you really can't see too much. Now that they've passed a law that you can't even throw things off the side so it's no fun watching people hit the sidewalk when you drop a penny on their heads. No fun. Stay away. Tourist trap to the extreme. If you want to see NY from way up, have a drink at Windows on the World. Rent King Kong instead and then sneak into an Irish pub and chat the ear off of the darkest woman in the place.

Skating? Wollman Rink is great. Good size, good music. Cheap. Skating in Rockefeller center is made decent only bc you are basically under the giant Xmas tree. But it's too small and crowded to be much fun. Think of it this way. It's like swimming in your bathtub with 3 other people with a nice view of the hills outside the windows. If that sound appetizing to you, by all means, jump in.

UN - one of the best sites to go visit if you don't go inside and wait in those tour lines. Just drive by and wave. Buy a postcard and write "I'm writing you from Boutros-Boutros' office..."

Broadway? - Perhaps the best thing about NYC is the diverse shows they have. Should definitely go. And if you are going to a matinee, go back at nightime and take some pictures. Purse snatchers and hookers have been moved from the area so it's quite clean.

Purse Snatchers and Hookers? I think 42nd St between 8th and 9th is your best shot. If you are under 18 and reading this....uhm...too late now. What the hell, kid's gotta learn sometime. Different strokes for different folks. Can we all be a little more tolerant?

Central Park Zoo? Not the best zoo in the world but what do you expect when the city itself has more dangerous people walking the sidewalks than they do animals in cages? The polar bear is awesome and you can see him from about 8 inches away. Best thing to do is not to feed the birds (those ever-crapping creatures feed more than Marlon Brando at a Shoney's buffet), but to bring peanuts and hand feed the squirrels. They will come right up to you, or sometimes up your leg if you are still enough.

Bus Tours? It sounds like a wonderful idea. Spend all that time on a plane to get here and then ride around in a bus while New Yorkers look at you asking "What a loser". Here's an idea. Call one of the car services in Manhattan (they will usually take 3-4 people max) and hire him for 3 hours. Will cost you about $75 but you can have him take you everywhere and you can pop out and take pictures and see the sites you want to see.

Circle Line Tours? Obviously, a very bad idea when it's cold but in the fall and spring, it's surprisingly not so bad (this is a positive review). My Aunt and Uncle from Georgia loved it. Of course, they think sticking a fork in the toaster and letting go before the "electricy man" shocks them is fun, so.....

Walk down 5th avenue? I like it. The stuff is expensive so you don't have to buy anything. It's still fun to look at. If you plan on shoplifting, you should wear good comfortable sneakers. I've twisted many an ankle from forgetting that simple rule!

Walking up Madison Ave? This is the toniest part of town. They have butlers who are upper middle class. It's great to walk around and pop into shops and look at the expensive townhouses. Remember sometimes these salespeople can be a little snooty, but always, always keep this in mind: They can't afford to buy anything there either. You have a better job than they do, so tell them you're looking and look slowly.

Museum of Radio and TV? Doesn't sound tasty, but there is almost never a line and you'll be surprised at how much fun it is.

Metropolitan Museum - Only the Louvre can compare. Wow. A must, must see. I think the admission is now $7 but remember this. People don't realize this but it's only a recommended price. You can walk right up, hand the guy a $5 bill and say five tickets please and he won't cast you an evil eye. The only museum you can do this to. So if you're on a tight budget do it. You can have lunch upstairs and make a day of it. Visit all the European paintings for sure.

Museum of Modern Art - Not as good, but still fantastic. Great works by Pollack, and Chuck Close and Johns. Everybody is here. Some seminal works by Matisse also. Great garden

Guggenheim - Overrated and expensive. The regular collection is pretty bare but the building's structure is very odd and a real masterpiece.

SoHo - go for Brunch and walk around. Brunch at Zoe or Quilty's and see all the art galleries and do some shopping. Definitely a must. For those not in the know, SoHo is short for South of Houston (pronounced How-Stun) because it is the area south of Houston Street which cuts across Manhattan. TriBeCa stands for Triangle Below Canal.

Greenwich Village? Not bad to walk around and catch a live band. They have everything from antique bible stores to edible condom shops. Little dirtier than Soho

Upper West Side - Go to the Imax and see something in 3D. Good for the kids and the screen is huge. Just don't see the Siegfried and Roy and Across the Sea of Time. After you leave these shows, the workers outside greet with you tiny vials of acid so you can blind yourself forever.

Lincoln Center? Get tickets to an opera or the ballet. Awesome. Also around Xmas time you should visit the area. Very pretty and the Xmas tree has lighted (fake) musical instruments. The Nutcracker is overrated but still worthwhile.

Rockefeller Xmas Tree? Definitely stop by and stop by Tseucher chocolate and buy a champagne truffle. Yum Yum

There are many more things to see in the greatest city in the World (Rome is close) but I have to go now because the Donny and Marie show is coming on soon!!

Dawn

Sam, You are a pisser!

Steven Spivey

Sam a question? Have you ever thought about writing a book or at least a tour guide. I'd buy it for sure! You are one funny dude. If you are writing out of anger or whatever, keep it up. Screw those other people who don't get it and want to ban you. Rock on!!

oops

Got to go now, Sammy.Time for your nappy.

samiamnot

This is the best advice a new visitor to our fair city could get. Print it out. Read it. And if you dare to go against a single thing said here (tho I myself am not a huge Bway fan on the whole and find 5th Ave. far too crowded for fun walking) bring the printout because you'll be in a line (here known as on a line) and/or at a sub-par "attraction" and you'll need something to read.

That said, some amendments to the original post:

For a great look at Liberty, take the Staten Island Ferry. It's free. You won't have to wait.

For a great non-alcoholic view you can go up the World Trade Center. While you're there, hit the TKTS booth that no one goes to. No lines and better luck getting discount tix to the show(s) of your choice.

Yes, by all means, skate Wollman over Rockefeller, but do stop by the Rock.

I don't believe Boutsy still has an office at the UN as Kofi Annan has been the head for quite some time now. Change postcard to read, "I'm writing from the Kofmeister's quarters" instead.

Purse Snatchers and Hookers still seem to do a brisk business on the far, far West Side (11th, 12th Ave.). Not that I would know.

Central Park Zoo is nice, and fits nicely into a day of exploring...Central Park. But if your stay in the concrete jungle requires top notch animal sitings (live, not on the backs of socialites) head up to the Bronx Zoo, and if you have the stamina, hit the Botancial Gardens next door while you're at it.

Nothing wrong with a bus tour if you tend to get tired. I wouldn't hire a car service, personally. Too expensive and you just get a better view from the top of an open double-decker. If you're worried about natives looking at you and thinking "what a loser," believe me, no matter what you do there will be some who will and some who won't. Many New Yorkers can take one look at a person and deduce which neighborhood they live in - tourists are a snap to pick out. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Take some pride in your bad self.

Walking up Madison is a fab suggestion, so long as the weather allows. We do it all the time when the folks are in town. Early Sunday AM (9:00-10:00) is an excellent time, we've found, for spotting Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn/Allen.

To the museum advice given by Sam I'd add the Frick if you like your art served in small but powerful doses. High, high quality cultchah in a beautiful mansion. I'd also put in a good word for the Cooper-Hewitt, the Museum of Natural History (especially for the kiddies) and the International Center of Photography, but these are all more specialized and should really be saved for return trips (except Nat. Hist. if you're With Children). The Met, MOMA and the outside of the Gugg are plenty for one visit. And as for admission, yes the Met is pay as much as you want, but so is MOMA on Fridays from 4:30 to 8:30 and MOMA is open on Monday when the rest of the art world sleeps.

Upper West Side. I'm stumped. Does Sam live there or something? It's not a particularly necessary or rewarding destination. Lincoln Center, sure, and then you can get dinner on Columbus. Or combine Nat. Hist. Museum with some shopping. Foodies will probably want to check out Zabar's. But other than that, there's just no need. IMAX, schmimax. Sam's probably hoping someone will head up there, look lost, and be easily lured into his apartment for a look at his baby pictures and report cards.

sam hempell

Dear Sam I am not,

Good post. Didn't know the reduced price availability at the Moma. Also the Staten Island Ferry is a very cheap way to see the Statue of Liberty. I don't live on Upper West (Actually on upper east). But good post

Noah

LOL @ Sam!

What about Chinatown?

nelly

I love your perspective...whenever I visit NY (not much anymore) I alwayslook for the "opposites"....places where the tourists usually do not go...
You didn't mention Wall Street (did you?)...subways? free lectures? walking in ethnic neighborhoods?
Just a few almost free things to do with not many tourists.

Sam Hempell

Thanks Noah and Nelly for your positive feedback. I really am trying to help people. I left a lot of things out of my original post because of time constraints.

To Noah, if you want to try Chinatown, there are some awesome restaurants of "Real" Chinese. Try Dim Sum on Sunday morning/afternoon at Golden Unicorn and Bway/catherine st. No reservation but its tasty. Also try Oriental Garden. They have live fish so very fresh. Try the drunken shrimp and the abalone. They also sell wonderful Asian pears and cheap NYC knick knacks in Chinatown and its right next to Little Italy so its a nice walk around. Beware, the restaurants in Ctown are not pretty on the inside. Joe's Shanghai is overrated but good and very cheap. Read the post about it.

Lola, NYC is the best city to walk around in with the possible exception of Rome. So much to see without having to pay a cent. The village, soho (esp the art galleries), little italy, etc. Wall Street is desolate but the canyons of buildings creates a nice effect but don't stay down there long. Try walking in the park and getting a 10-minute massage from one of those Chinese men. Pretty good. Also if you are a keen shoplifter, there are many stores where (if you have a buddy who doesn't mind coming along and faking heart attacks for distraction) you can have your way. Need any specific info, email me at my private hotmail adrs

Neal Sanders

When I’ve hosted visitors in New York, these are the sights that my guests have always found most interesting (eliminating duplicates from above posts):

The townhouse areas of the west side – Get off of the No. 1 subway at 79th Street; Broadway is the street with the median strip. Now, just start walking east along any street from 80th on north. This is the heart of Manhattan’s late 19th Century growth spurt, and it survives intact at the end of the 20th Century. Graceful buildings, human scale, with loads of trees. It’s urbanism at its best, and the reaction I usually get is, “I had no idea New York was like this.”

The townhouse areas of the east side, including Theodore Roosevelt Birthplace – (E. 20th St. between Park and Broadway) Beautiful old brownstones like those in the Turtle Bay and Gramercy Park areas of New York exist in few other cities in the U.S. They evoke an understanding of how New York came to be and how it has grown. There’s one brownstone that’s open to see: TR’s birthplace on 20th Street, which has been restored to its mid-19th century glory. The last time I was there, admission was $2.00.

Central Park – You had to be there in the late 70s to appreciate how good it is today, but to someone coming from elsewhere in the country (except maybe Chicago, Washington, or Boston), this is a park unlike any they’ve ever seen. That it gleams today is an added attraction.

A walk up Fifth Avenue – Start from the Plaza Hotel on Central Park South (60th St.) and start walking north until you get to the Metropolitan Museum of Art at 84th St. Central Park is on your left, the greatest concentration of wealth in the country is on your right. The apartment blocks are pleasing to look at; the glimpses inside are tantalizing. Along the way, you pass the Frick, mentioned above as one of the great “intense doses” of art in the city. If you’re a Winona Rider fan, the Vermeer that contributes the title of her new movie (“Girl, Interrupted”) belongs to the Frick along with two other Vermeers.

Brooklyn Heights – (No. 2 or 3 train to Clark St.) A wonderful village with a killer view of Manhattan from the Promenade. Montague Street, three blocks south of Clark, is the street with the shops, but the charm of Brooklyn Heights is in the houses, streets, parks, and people. If you find yourself singing the theme from “The Patty Duke Show,” so much the better.

Grand Central Station – (Park Ave and 42nd St.) Just go and gasp. One of the great urban places on the face of the earth.

The Battery – (No. 4 or 5 train to Bowling Green) It’s just a park, but the views are to die for; the harbor, Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island on one side; the varied façade of the financial district on the other.

The Forbes Galleries – (5th Avenue at 12th Street) The great, accessible, whimsical museum in New York. Faberge eggs, toy soldiers, toy boats, and more. Wonderfully arranged, a delight for the eye. I’d pay to get in, but it’s free.

Pierpont Morgan Library – (East 36th Street between Madison and Park) This was the private library of J.P. Morgan, and if nothing else, you get to see the inside of a genuine robber-baron-era mansion. It houses a collection of rare books and illuminated manuscripts, objets d'art, paintings and sculpture. The glass-enclosed garden court is a “wow” all by itself.

The New York City Public Library – (5th Avenue at 41st St.) No one has built a public space like this for 75 years; today it is restored to its full glory. The reading room alone is worth a visit

Bloomingdales – (59th and Lexington Ave.) There’s nothing like it back home, even if there’s a Bloomingdale’s back home. This is the original shopping as theater, and nobody does it better, even after 20 years.

Any other contributors?

samiamnot

Neal-some more excellent advice. I pity the fools who don't read this thread before going to New York. Here are a few more ideas:

The Brooklyn Bridge. A walk across it (preferably at sunset) combines nicely with the trip to Brooklyn Heights, a stroll in the Wall Street vicinity, or a shopping spree at South Street Seaport (tho I'd add the caveat that the Seaport, while it has quaint cobblestones and some pretty buildings and tall ships, is really just a mall and should not be high on any tourist's list).

For the people like Neal's friends who like surprising architecture in neighborhood strolls, head to Greenwich Village and check out everything from elegant townhouses to tiny woodframe shacks to Tudor extravaganzas on Charles, Bedford, Grove, Commerce, Perry, and all those other cute streets (also Washington Square Park, with the arch, and Washington Mews one block north).

As a former Columbia student, I'll put in a good word for the marvelous McKim, Mead & White campus, and note that you can get a great view from the top of the Riverside Church bell tower (just don't be there when the bells are ringing).

And finally, museum-wise, The Cloisters are more than worth the trek up to the tippy top of Manhattan. You'll feel like you're in a medieval European monastery because you are. There are several objects of art which you will remember studying in school, including the famous Unicorn Tapestries. The herb gardens are lovely. The view up the Hudson is always gorgeous but in fall foliage season it's breathtaking. A great place around Christmas time too.

kim

Not exactly a sight, but can anyone tell me if the Nuyorican still exists and still does the poetry slams on Friday nights? Went about 5 years ago and it was one of the most entertaining evenings (mornings? it didn't start until about midnight) that I had!

michele

Gald to see someone mentioned the
Cloisters. How about St. John's cathedral uptown..very inspiring.

Sam, are you a native New Yorker ( just curious)? Is John's Pizza in the village
(Bleeker and 7th??) still around?

Grew-up in the area and lived in "THE CITY" ( as New Yorkers refer to Manhattan) for three years, but I haven't been back in about ten years. I enjoy your opinions.Even if you are not a native you've absorbed some NOO YAWK attitude.

Sam Hempell

I am 30 and moved to NY only 8 years ago. However, it only took me about 8 days to realize that this is the best city in the world.

Michele is there anything I can do for you while you are here?

John

Stumbled across this post! Thought it called it like it REALLY is!
Bring it to the top and see what happens!!

JOHN

Meg

Sam - you are TOO much! I'm planning a theatre week-end this fall.

What are your suggestions for the best shows? We like musicals - have enjoyed RENT, Miss Saigon, Les Mis on past trips - did not like Cats.... What are your suggestions for hotels in the theatre district? On my last two trips, I stayed at The Belvedere (was pleased with room and rate and location) and The Fitzpatrick (was not so pleased with room). Please keep up your distinct brand of advice - I get it and appreciate it. Thanks.

ach

Thanks everybody!

I'll be in the city for several days next month - it's not my first trip - and I don't intend to stand in lines...

Kelly

Meg,

My husband and I go to the theatre often and our favorite musicals are Cabaret and Chicago. If you want a comedy, "I love you,you're perfect, now change" is quite entertaining and Blue Man Group Tubes is fun as well. As for a hotel in the Times Square area, I would recommend the Marriott Marquis or the Time, although both are pricey (as are most hotels in NY). Hope this helps.

Meg

Thanks, Kelly. We've never seen Cabaret on Broadway - that's an excellent suggestion as well as Chicago. A friend of mine recently asked me about The Blue Man Group, but I had no info.

The Marriott is too big for us. Any small hotel recs? What about The Time - not familiar with it. Thanks again.

Roger

Very entertaining post. Anything us natives can do to keep people from wasting their valuable time in our wonderful city on the Planet Hollywoods, etc. is a good thing. Feel like I need to come to the defense of the Upper West Side, my home for the last 10 years. The 79th Street Boat Basin is a worthy stop in addition to brunch at Barney Greengrass (tourists have the benefit of being able to go during the week).