amy

I cannot believe it is already happening but my 8 year old no longer believes I am perfect and can actually prefer her friends over me. Since this may be one of our last individual vacations without friends or relatives I want to make it special. Any ideas for a late August destination for just she and I. Preferrably close to somewhere Southwest Airlines flies. (I know this sounds broad but have already done disney, national parks, florida beaches, hilton head). Northeast or Pacific Northwest may be a nice option? Any recs on resorts or ranches?

Dee

Believe it or not, my 8-year old and I are going to Minneapolis for our end of summer trip. We're shopping at Mall of America, and doing the sights in downtown Minneapolis (Lake Calhoun, Museums, etc.). We fly out of Chicago and got a great round trip fare through ATA.

Next year I'm considering an Alaskan Cruise (we did the Caribbean last spring, and this spring we went to Atlantis in the Bahamas). We enjoyed them all and so far she hasn't gotten too tired of just the two of us. Of course, these were one week trips and she was anxious to get back to her friends!

mommy

Some other destinations may be a city stay in NYC or Chicago or even San Francisco all places with plenty of activities to filla week and stuff for children to do. for relaxinf on the beach, try South Padre Island Texas or somewhere in the Cape cod area (probably can't fly southwest there though) I have an 11 year old daughter and a 9 year old son, both brought "friends" on our trip last year to Orange Beach and Gulf shores. We are going to Beahes resort in Caribbean this year and the same friends are coming.

Mary

How about Chicago? I know Southwest flys there onto Midway, and thats closer to downtown then Ohare. Besides the lake, theres a great Aquarium, a natural history museum, that american girl store on Michigan avenue, Second city, which she may be old enough for. I took my son when he was 10 and we had a GREAT TIME.

lucy

she may prefer her friends...but keep taking her on trips. It will be the glue that binds you together when she hits her teens. My parents did this with me and I've done it with my kids. The trick is to make the trips more fun than being with her friends!
We took our two girls to Cherokee Park Ranch in Colorado. A week of you and your horse... every girls dream. the ranch also has a pool, trout pond, river rafting excursions, overnight trips, great food, and nice rooms. There are always kids, and you don't have to love horses to enjoy it. Another great, but more rustic ranch was the Flying U ranch in 70 Mile House, British Colombia. Fly into Vancouver, then take a train to their back door. it's very cheap, but if you go in June, there are lots of 7th graders having year end school trips. One daughter fell in love, the other won the talent show.
We also did an Alaska Cruise...On Holland America they have great kids/teens groups. You daughter will have a great time with new friends on the ship, then you bond on shore trips. Our girls are now 13 and 16..we went to japan last June. They grumped about missing friends, but they had a cheap costco phone card and were free to call and brag each night. They got some weird clothes and loved showing off when we returned. This year we're off to Australia.
Trust me...don't let her talk you out of going. As long as it's fun and as long as you pay, she will secretly be happy to go.

Diane

Amy---I agree with Lucy---you have to make it an annual event regardless! And I also agree with Lucy about the ranch vacation. Make sure you go to one where you can ride together---some ranches will separate kids and adults for all rides, some just have families ride together in the afternoon, some are more flexible. There are a lot of web sites that have info on ranches. It may be too late for this year, most fill up early---but you can get info for next year. Colordo Dude Ranch Association has recommended ranches.

Teresa

I agree with the Chicago suggestions. Is your daughter into American Girl dolls? My then 7-year old daughter and I spent a fabulous afternoon at the American Girl Store in downtown Chicago two summers ago. We had high tea in their really funky and totally cool tearoom (the napkin holders were black and white striped scrunchies that she could take home) and then shopped in for her doll and for her in the three-story store. She and I totally bonded while my husband and son ate at Michael Jordan's restaurant and did their bonding thing. After that we went to the Navy Pier and did touristy-type stuff...your daughter would enjoy it. Our kids are now 12 and 10 and our family still looks forward to vacations away from it all. We usually don't take their friends along (we get enough of that on soccer tournament trips, dance competition trips, etc.)--this is our family time. I think that if we reinforce our family strengths now, the teen years may be just the TINIEST bit easier. For the poster who said her family was going to Beaches this year--YOU WILL HAVE A BLAST!! We spent last Thanksgiving at Beaches Negril and we're all four still talking about that trip. Bravo to all the posters who include their children on trips--stressful as it sometimes is, I have to think they'll thank us someday.

Vicki

Amy: I'm laughing because your 8-year old daughter will travel with you as long as you want her to go (and of course, you pay!). Our kids have traveled with us since they were babies (it is our greatest passion), and they still love it. Our daughter (18) and two sons (15) have so many great memories and still talk about some of the great things we've done and places we've seen. Age 8 is entering the crazy years with a daughter, trust me, I know! But now we are about to take our three teens on a cruise out of Florida and they can't wait. They will travel with us for a long, long time and we always have so much fun. In fact, when you get them away from their usual environment and on a trip together you see such a great side of your kids that they often don't reveal when their peers are close by! And Teresa is correct: those teen years are a breeze if you keep your family having fun together. Also, we have brought kids' friends on a couple trips and truthfully, it became a little difficult once the novelty wore off. Our teens seem to prefer just hanging out with us when we're traveling, at least that's been our experience.

Joan

Listen to those Moms of daughter with good relationships, they know what they are talking about. The trips you take now are the glue that will bind you through the years ahead (which aren't necessarily so bad either. Proud Mum of an 19 year old, we have travelled together at least every year, to Maine, the Caribbean, Scotland and all over . Now my young woman is off to Europe with a pal for 2 months before university in the fall and I will hook up with them for 1 week in Italy. She is a savvy and sophisticated traveller with a good eye for a bargain. Kate would say if she were on-line (because she has said it to me) that those trips together helped her to know the real person behind the MOM-figure we all put on at home for our kids. She saw me deal with pickpockets, persuade a snotty hotelier that we deserved a better room and negotiate lost luggage. Later she taught me to speak a little Italian, sea-kayak and flirt with waiters to get a better table.Go ANYWHERE but go together and keep going. (P.S. I took MY 85-year-old mother to Disneyworld last year-it runs in the family)

Anja

Your daughter would adore you even if you pitched a tent in your back yard and called it a vacation!

I take my girl (aged 8) camping, on kayak trips, bike rides in the neighborhood. Because I am a single mom, we relish each second together (though it gets harder the older she gets.) Take her someplace local, or someplace with a story, something connected with yourself, and she will remember it forever.

I took my daughter to NYC last year for a weekend, but it didn't compare to an afternoon hanging out in the hammock in the yard! This year I'll save my money!

Good luck, and don't worry.

~Anja

Joy

Yes, yes, yes - Amy, I know you are not perfect either but listen to all the moms who said to keep taking your daughter on trips and leave the friends behind. She has 51 weeks each year with friends and maybe only one with "just you". Amazing how close the two of you can be when there are no distractions (friends) around.

I don't have any destination suggestions for you, you've gotten a lot of good ones here, just wanted to concur with the others who encouraged you to use this bonding time alone with her. Mine is 15 and we get along very well (tho we have hit some real rough spots along the way).

Kerry

Though this is a little off the topic, I was just wondering what the proper etiquette is as far as finances when bringing a friend along. We have an only child who is 10 and have considered bringing a friend along so he will have someone to play and hang out with. We will be flying to Orlando and renting a car, and spending a week at Disneyworld. Are we expected to pay the way of the friend? Do the parents of the friend pay for his plane ticket? What about entry to all parks? We did bring the "friend" along last year, but that was a driving vacation where we rented a ondo at the beach. The child's mother gave me some money before we left to dole out to the hild eah day so he would have spending money, but we didn't ask them to pay for anything else. Obviously this is a MORE EXPENSIVE trip (disney always is) and there is the plane ticket to consider. What do you think?

Suzie

When you invite a friend to accomany you on a vacation you assume all costs. The child is your guest and that's the price you pay for taking a friend for your child. The parent didn't ask you to take the child along after all. When my friend's parents invited me to accompany them to Catalina my parents did not pay nor would my friend's parents allow them to pay. I was treated as though I was a part of the family while I vacationed with them. The guest child's parents might want to send along souvenier money but you pick up the tab for air fare, lodging and food.

Mommy

I totally disagree with suzie about paying for the friend. Unless you are rih this is not an option. My own child has accompanied others on vacations as well as us inviting our daughters friends along. in my experience, the parents of the friend usually give the child spending money for souveniors and any other extra. In addition, they pay large quantifiable costs such as the cost of the plane ticket and/or a disney parkhopper pass in Kerry's case. I do agree that the parents of the friend should not pay for lodging as the hotel room is needed regardless of the extra person. Furthermore, those inviting the friend usually over meals too. As I said I have been on both ends of this scenario every year for the past five as it is an annual event in our house. I only wish I could find a way to go not only on my own vacation but be asked along by the neighbors as well! Think about it if an adult ouple asks another couple to travel with them, most times each pays their own airfare etc.

Greg

As for a specific recommendation: If you have any inclination to go to a dude ranch, I highly recommend the Lane Guest Ranch in Estes Park, Colo.

We went there five years ago when our boys were 5 and 3, and loved it. It would be even better now that they are older.

Joyce

When we invite a child to go with us, we pay the major costs, including airfare. The child's parents usually send the child with spending money. Someone once attempted to give us the cash to cover air fare, but we figured we invited them. The family did give us a gift certificate to a nice restaurant. We are taking my daughter's long time boyfriend on a vacation with us this year---he was going to pay for some of it, but we decided to make it a graduation gift. I think that is how most people in our area do it. My husband would never think of inviting someone and having them pay their own way.

NancyK

I see alot of recs on here for "dude ranches" this might be nice for a group of teenage boys, but amy has a daughter. If her daughter is anything like mine a dude ranh wold be her absolute last choice. I don't know many little girls that like being outside and getting dirty or spending a week roughing it. My 12 yo would go bonkers if there was not a place to plug in her curling iron and she would be getting dirty and sweaty. (she's definitely at that age!) Anyway, I see you have not visited the washington D.C. area yet. This could be a fabulous trip, sightseeing and shopping with plenty to do. I would suggest a daytrip to Baltimore and another to Annapolis while there. Enjoy!

amy

thanks for all the kind responses and I will take your advice - the trips will continue. This transition into preteens is just a little scary - where did my little girl go overnight? We did the Chicago/American Girl trip over xmas and it was a blast. I work in DC occasionally and will take her with me on one of those trips. thanks for the suggestion on Lane Guest Ranch - I pulled it up and it looks great. Maybe we will combine with a Rocky Mountain National Park stop. Thanks again for all the great words of encouragement - its what I needed to hear.

juli

How about the coast of Maine? Everything from beaches to little towns to whale watching is handy. Southwest flies into Manchester, NH which is a stone's throw. My friend took her daughter on a "just us" retreat there last summer and had a ball. What a great thing to do with your daughter

Christina

I'm not sure on your budget but I can recommend very highly a ranch I went to in Durango, CO called Colorado Trails (www.coloradotrails.com). I think those who criticize dude ranch suggestions (which Amy specifically requested) may not have been to one as some are not exactly roughing it at all, they are just nice resorts with activities and pretty scenery; also, preteen girls are often horse-batty to the extreme, much more than boys. IN any case, this ranch has nice cabins (but not deluxe) and a pool, the main ranch house where meals are is just wonderful with a great view over the mountains, you can sit on the porch and read; there are manyh children's and sports activities (the evening special campfire rides are fun; the shooting I did not like, but you can boycott that). First, this is a wonderful ranch with a good riding programs and they know what they are doing (the owner when I went was the main who advised movies, including City Slickers, but I think they sold); the food is absolutely wonderful, and it's small enough that you get to know people, but not too small. Another good thing is that it is close to Durango, so you can vary your ranch activities by driving into town to shop, etc, or going up to Silverton, there is a wonderful scenic drive there. The price is now about $1500 a week per person, I think, which sounds like a lot ($200 a day) but isn't too bad when you consider that includes all meals and all riding and activities, plus the cabin. As I said, the riding is very good and they do offer extra lessons for those who want them in jumping, dressage, etc, as I recall, but anyone from beginners on up can go there. They treat their horses well and the staff were all exceptional.