JimF

I'm curious, is it just me or do most Fodorites generally plan U.S. travel down to the microexperience?

My kids, and now the grands, (lovingly) kid me about my habit of organizing road trips to the point that -- they say -- I schedule "spontaneous moment next Tuesday at 3. Everyone must be there!"

What I admit doing is religiously planning driving routes when I have to move the troops from point A to point B, to the point of Mapquesting every leg to ensure I have a general feel for where the heck I should be heading; comparing hotels to ensure we have the best accommodations for the best price; and trying to plan the day so that we have the opportunity to do something whether we do it or not.

Now, is that obsessive? I tell them it is good planning, and it just makes sense.

Part of this is my age, of course. I am part of a generation that wants to know what's ahead to the extent possible, vs. the generation that hits the road and hopes there is a motel room available somewhere...

Now if we are going out of the country, that's another matter. I book the hotels, trains, planes, etc., but the days are left to accomplish BIG goals (one museum, or one historic site, etc.) rather than schedule the day.

Admittedly, trips can be planned to the point that they are more like a military exercise than a fun outing, but I really don't think we are to that point.

Perhaps you have encountered this sort of comment from yours. If so, I'd appreciate some advice. How do I best respond?

Thanks for any input,

Jim

mah1980

I admit to also being OCD about planning trips. The key is to be able to abandon your plans where they're not working. I like to figure out what the best restaurants and hotels are, make reservations, and hope for the best. But if it's not working, you need to know when to say when.

The reason that I plan things out so religiously is because often it is the places you go at a vacation destination that make you love it or hate it. You could be visiting the best place, but staying at an awful hotel and eating terrible food, and you would never know it.

Scarlett

I did this when we first started going to Europe. Before that, our travel mostly included 2 kids and it always seemed that we rarely planned past making reservations for getting there and having a place to stay. But we always had good times and I cannot look back and think , I should have planned it more.
Now though, I think I want to be more in control..( yes, it is all about control and I want to be sure that I do everything that I have read about and want to do.
Of course, these days, it is just the 2 of us, so there is not that much organizing to do.
We are going to Buenos Aires and I am finding reading so much about everything and the logistics are giving me a headache and I have a feeling I will just make a list of what I want to see and find a hotel I like and just see what happens when we get there
Scarlett

rapunzll

I used to plan out each and every day. I don't do it anymore when I travel in country and enjoy my trips much more than I used to.

LoveItaly

Hi JimF, when my late husband and I did road trips in the US we usually but not always had a hotel reservation for the first night. And then we just "winged it from there". And sometimes we didn't even have reservations for the first night. And the funny thing is I remember the best the trips when we didn't have reservations at all..some funny stories that had us laughing afterward. They still make me laugh to this day.

I guess because we had a business and it seemed like every moment of our working life was scheduled we mostly enjoyed our vacations unscheduled.

I do not take road trips anymore since I am on my own. But I still do not like vacations that are scheduled (no choice when it comes to airflights is there?). I like to know about sights and sites when I travel but other than knowing about times they are open..days and hours..that is about as far as I want to plan.

razzledazzle

Jim,
Since your family has already shared
that you over organize, why not invite them in to the solution ? That would be a good first step in relinquishing
some of the reins. Look at the problem together from the same side of the fence,
not oppositie sides of the fence.

R5

KarenL

My road trip up the California coast in the early 90s cured me of not planning my trips. Although it was beautiful, it was very stressful ending up in places like Santa Barbara or San Luis Obisbo (sp?) and not being able to get a hotel room because of a festival or graduation we didn't know about was happening.

Sleeping in my car is not my idea of a fun vacation!

I now book flights, hotels, cars and certain big adventures (river rafting, whale watching etc)in advance to avoid wasting precious vaction time. But each day is not planned down to the last detail.

sylvia3

I agree, a little planning makes ugly surprises a non-issue. (The last bout of driving from motel to motel because everyone in the state decided to see the fall colors at the same time cured me of worrying about being called unspontaneous.) The trips that come out great are because someone was doing a little planning and making sure things went smoothly, but some family members think that these things just happen! Just recently I was chided for suggesting that 4 adults might need advance reservations for a big show in Vegas (we'll just show up, no problem). I knew better, but went along. Ha.

highflyer

Like some others I'm the "live and learn" type.
We didn't use to plan anything except flights and somewhere to sleep and then only if we were arriving late.

Then 2 kids came along and the planning increased, partly to ensure a smoother vacation. We didn't plan down to the letter but we certainly had more than the basics booked and contingency plans....

Now that the kids are older we're more flexible again (they can 'rough it' if they have to and so can we!) and it's fun to have greater spontaneity, plus everyone inputs their ideas.

I can see ahead when the dynamics will shift again and I'll feel more comfortable with a well planned trip. I think as you get older you're less prepared to deal with the unexpected or at least you just don't want to!

kaudrey

I am an admitted planner, but my DBF is trying to break me of the habit.

We went to Costa Rica 2 months ago with flights and a rental car, and that's it. We had a guide book and I had read things on the forum here, so I knew basically what I wanted to see - volcano, rain forest, beach. We did it on the fly and had a great time, although my friends were amazed I did it without being completely stressed out.

My trip to Spain in 2004 had every hotel booked, train schedules were downloaded, maps were printed out, museum opening days/hours were researched...you get the idea.

I think going forward it will depend on where we are traveling and what the goals of the trip are.

bennnie

For our first big vacation as a family I planned down to the nanosecond but that was because the planning was an brief escape from dealing with an illness and ultimate death in my family. The vacation went exceptionally well so I tend to follow that routine for all vacations. But admittedly as time goes on and the kids get older less planning is necessary and we are able to "wing it" more easily than when they were younger.

The good thing about planning and researching is that when you do have those "so what should we do now" moments, you will always have an suggestion ready.

TxTravelPro

Maybe it is because I travel all the time and know that I will be back to see things I may have missed but I never plan anything when we are traveling for leisure.
Nothing.
We generally have a rough idea of what we want to see.
Sometimes we do none of the items on the list.
We never do tourist stuff or take tours.
We always have a luxury hotel room and periodically decide to sleep late.
I am sure we miss some things but we always have a great, relaxing time... no matter where we go.

Kal

Alohaaaa...

"Box the compass" (ie get airfare/hotels and a driving map if you need it) then it's seat of the pants for us.

We've stumbled into a lot of things we may not have otherwise seen if we had been on the clock elsewhere.

This is one reason why we really didn't
take to cruising....too regimented.
Mahalo!
Kal

Ps....hello r5!

travel_addict

My thinking is that I want to know as much as I can about a place before I get there so I can easily be more spontaneous. The trips I haven't had time to 'research' in advance end up with a lot of wasted time trying to figure out what to do next, or where to eat. I'd rather have all the good ideas in my head before I go, and then pick from those ideas. My friends tease me as I call this "Planning for Spontanaeity".

karens

I do a ton of planning before we leave. I learned the hard way after discovering we were so close to a few amazing places, but I had no idea until after we arrived home.

That said, I don't have an hourly itinerary. I have rough plans for each day, but if we're too tired or see something else, we change. We've changed hotel reservations when we've felt like driving longer (and the town we were scheduled to stay in didn't look too great. This happened last summer driving through Merced, CA). And sometimes mother nature changes your plans - we've been majorly diverted due to mudslides outside Yellowstone and Banff and discovered some neat places along our detour.

I've heard stories that make me shudder about people "winging it". One friend couldn't stay in Ouray with her family b/c all the places were full. I love Ouray and would have hated to miss it. Plus, when it's late and I'm tired and with kids who are tired, the last thing I want to do is get back in the car and drive further along searching for a place to stay.

My mother-in-law and her "companion" make reservations, but then when they get to their destination, they drive up to other motels and "comparison-shop". To me, that is a total waste of vacation time!

Floridafran

Jim,

I think a lot depends on where you're going and what time of year. My husband and I love to vacation in our National Parks and prefer to have lodging inside the Parks whenever possible. You just can't do that spur-of-the-moment, especially when your vacation time is mid-May to mid-August. At least we couldn't. Neither of us would enjoy ourselves if we had to worry every Park if we'd luck into a cancellation for the night(s) we wanted.

Also, some activities have to be booked ahead or you're more than likely not going to be able to do them. I plan and schedule things like that, but I'm getting better about planning our hikes. I always have a few "must-dos" and like to know about others, but I no longer feel like I have to know exactly what we're going to do and when.

But I have to admit I'd love to just get in the car sometime and drive. Stopping whenever and whereever the fancy strikes us. Maybe we can when he retires from teaching and our vacation dates can be more flexible. Until then, I'll continue to plan and schedule, compare and research. Besides, for me anyway, all that trip prep is part of the fun.

Happy traveling - however you like to do it.

Fran

JimF

You folks have really helped. Scarlett, you particularly have hit a nerve -- in my case, anyway -- it IS about control.

The control I think I am seeking is not mean-spirited (do it my way or stay at home...) but it does have a strong dimension of controlling my environment, regardless of where I am.

By this I mean I plan to the nth so that all goes well, and I know what is supposed to be happening. HOWEVER, and this is the AHA moment for me, when things do not go as they should, I subconsciously think I have lost control.

THAT'S why good vacations are affected or ruined by one mishap! The guidance I am absorbing here is to plan to a sensible point, and then back off, leaving ample time for all kinds of things to screw up. And when it happens -- and it will -- I can handle it without souring the venture.

Man...I talk big now, but wonder if I can REALLY do this...

Thanks, everyone!

Jim

Chele60

I think it depends on the type of vacation, time of year, and destination. When I went to Spain, I planned/booked the rental, hotels, tickets to the Alhambra, etc. It was far too important to "wing it" and end up not having the full experience.

A lot of road trips can be done with a map and general knowledge of where one is going. However, this can backfire as well. When I went to San Fran with my BF a couple of years ago, I found out very quickly he never plans for anythings. Unfortunately, we played the "what-do-you-want-to-do-I-don't-know-what's-there-to-do" game for most of the first day. All the while he searching through brochures. And wasting all that time. It drives me crazy, and a lot of people who "wing it" do this. I prefer to plan a bit and have knowledge beforehand, so I can hit the ground running, if need be.

On our trips, my BF complains that I "over plan", but he always comes home raving about what a wonderful time he's had. Go figure....

Lexma90

For the most part, I enjoy planning trips almost as much as going on them! My family makes fun of my prior planning and researching of trips (ok, I admit that the color-coded map of about 90 restaurants all over Paris was a bit much - but I didn't want to be one street away from the perfect pastry, and then miss it), but then turns to me when they want to benefit from a great Indian restaurant at lunchtime, or what the hours are for that museum that we decided to go to, or the easiest way to get from point A to point B!

I like the phrase "planning for spontaneity;" that's what I do. I find great-sounding hotels - on this last trip, it was a misture of a beautiful B&B, a family-oriented motel with a fantastic kids pool, and a one-bedroom suite in New York City. They've all worked out, except for that one horrid place in the early days of the internet - that's the one my family remembers, not all the great places! And for dinner, we book special places ahead of time, and have ideas on the rest. For example, when in Rockport, Massachusetts recently, before we went, I came up with 3 restauarant possibilities, and we could then easily check out in person.

As for activities, I book in advance when necessary, and then have possibilities in advance for most of the rest. And I'll try to organize locations of activities, so we groud activities that are located together. Final decisions are made when we're there, and are based on weather and changes of mind. But it's easier to make decisions if you have the necessary information already at hand.

sludick

Lexma90, I'm with you. I feel as though I'm already on vacation when I am busy planning them -- sometimes 2 years in advance! Really, it's a hobby, and I enjoy every moment of it.

And sometimes my family accuse me of lacking spontaniety, of overplanning. Yet, who do they and our friends turn to when they need directions, or suggestions on things to do, places to stay or eat, etc? You guessed it, the rabid planner.

In fact, among our circle of friends, our vacations are legendary. Mostly because we come home with wonderful experiences to share, vs. horror stories of what went wrong. Our best friends are coming with us on vacation this fall, and they ask me often what new "additions" I have made to the vacation plan. We have 4 more months to go.

I do think there is a problem with overplanning, and this is something I think can ruin a vacation, if you don't control it. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Try not to share the minute details of your planning with others. It's not as exciting to hear someone talk about it as it was to actually plan it. Plan in detail, divulge in outline.

2. Don't try to make everyone else comply with YOUR plan. The immediate response is rebellion, and nobody will have a good time. Engage them on what they may like to see, do, eat, etc., and it will be everyone's plan.

3. Let it seem spontaneous. Let them think this is effortless (even though you spent countless hours/days/ weeks/months arranging it). They will appreciate how smooth and effortless things (appear) to go, and not know the difference if things don't go exactly as planned.

4. When things don't go exactly as you planned, don't have a cow. I'm not talking about big disasters here. But I found that it can be disappointing to have something veer off from how you envisioned it, and it's tempting to let it spoil your attitude. Don't. This is when you can feel spontaneous and flexible.

5. Accumulate a semi-secret file of AAA route maps, alternate routes, ferry schedules, restaurant recommendations, things to do, etc. One really good thing to put in your file is some research on things you expect to see, places you'll be, etc. If I don't have something handy when asked, they're disappointed.

6. Don't plan everything. Leave time unscheduled, even if it kills you. And then if the family turns to you for ideas, bring out your "file."