Should I cancel my NYC trip?

Dec 7th, 2005, 07:35 AM
Original Poster
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 198
Should I cancel my NYC trip?

I decided to take my bf to NYC for a romantic weekend (Sat-Sun in January) trip as his Christmas gift. I've been looking into some nice places to eat, fun things to do, etc and getting really excited to go. We don't live too far away but he's only been there once or twice, so I was looking forward to showing him around the city.

A few days ago I was stressing over what to get for some people and my bf was talking about how I tend to go overboard on gifts sometimes when I can't afford it, and mentioned that he hoped I wasnt spending a lot of money on his gift. He would rather just spend time with me and he isn't big on material things, so he encouraged me not to go overboard on his gift.

Now I think he might feel guilty that I spent a lot on his present when he knows that I don't make very much money (I was planning on using my holiday bonus to pay for it). I got a really good hotel rate online (good for NYC at least!) but it still wasn't cheap. Then there's meals, sightseeing, transportation, etc to pay for...all in all, the trip will probably cost me around $450, which I know is far more than he was planning to spend on me.

I just wanted to do something special for him and now I think I screwed up! I was so excited to go away for a weekend with him that I didn't exactly think things through very well...ugh.

I made a really cute little "invitation" to give to him on Christmas that would tell him the details of the trip. But now one of my friends suggested that I tell him before Christmas what my idea was, in case he would rather not go...I don't think he would do that, but now I'm worried! I'm thinking about just going and cancelling the whole trip now I don't know what to do!
shortcake05479 is offline  
Dec 7th, 2005, 07:50 AM
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Instead of picking up the tab for the entire weekend, how about paying for the hotel room only and going dutch the rest of the weekend?

Talk to him. Say, "How about instead of exchanging Christmas presents, let's split the cost of a trip to New York City?".

Let him know you've found a cheap motel and you are willing to foot the bill for his Christmas present.
Dec 7th, 2005, 08:02 AM
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,215
You could also say something to the effect of "since I know you're not big on material things, but want us to spend more time together, I thought of a great idea..."
KathrynT is offline  
Dec 7th, 2005, 08:04 AM
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 735
Seems to me that his comment about spending time with you and not wanting material things both mesh fine with a trip. You'll spend time together, and he doesn't have to worry about having an expensive gee gaw he doesn't like and can't take back without hurting your feelings.

PLUS, half the hotel and food, etc. will be spent on YOU anyway, so it's not like the whole $450 is his present.

Litespeed_Chick is offline  
Dec 7th, 2005, 08:19 AM
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 3,528
There are lots of ways of enjoying NY without spending tons of money. Just being there and walking around is entertainment enough. Take a ride on the Staten Island ferry at sunset for a free and excellent view of the Statute of Liberty.

Of course no one here can answer your real question. Only you know your relationship well enough to know if you have gone overboard. I guess it all depends on how stable this relationship is - have you been dating for a while? Is it serious?

I gave my then boyfriend a trip to Montreal for Christmas one year. We've been married almost 19 years now. But I was sure enough about our relationship to know that is was okay for me to spend more than him.
bennnie is offline  
Dec 7th, 2005, 08:38 AM
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 525
NO!! Don't cancel the trip! You already put a lot of time and effort into it and that is much a "labor of love" than the actual trip ...

Like many posters already said, you don't have to spend $$$ to have a great time. I mean, for goodness sakes, a slice of pizza, a beer and a walk around the village (and a stop at one of the awesome bakeries/gelato places for dessert) is a cheap and very enjoyable night out.

I think the 2 of you will have such a good time!!!
Wallace_and_Gromit is offline  
Dec 7th, 2005, 08:48 AM
Original Poster
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 198
Thank you so much for all the advice. I feel much better about the situation and I am def not going to cancel it now I think offering up the trip to him as a "lets do this instead of presents" idea is a great way to solve the problem. I'm pretty sure he hasn't bought me a gift yet because he's a last minute shopper (although if he has bought one, that might pose a problem!)

To answer your questions bennnie, we've been dating for a little over a year and we are very serious, so I'm not worried about the relationship not being stable or anything...I just don't want him to feel guilty that I went all out on a present when he can't afford to do the same for me.
shortcake05479 is offline  
Dec 7th, 2005, 10:26 AM
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 626
I agree with everyone else---don't cancel. Bring it up as an idea instead of giving gifts. As a matter of fact, my fiance and I do that quite often. I'd rather travel than add another sweater to my collection. Besides, when travelling I can buy a new sweater--best of both worlds.

This year instead of gifts my fiance and I got tickets to BB King's 80th birthday bash in Jan. We're both so excited for it. Just so we have something to open on Christmas morning we'll do stocking stuffers with a set $ value.

Have a great time. I can't wait to get back to NYC!
ethel is offline  

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