JJ5

Thankyou so much for remembering and letting me know about the Amano, kybourbon. Actually I ran into an entire case at this little neighborhood wine shop by our train station and bought it a couple of months ago. He is trying to get more for me and hasn't yet. That will hold me for quite a while as I have others, but I felt super lucky to have a supply.

But I do appreciate the FYI.

And in Chicago if you call it soda where I come from, they might even give you an ice cream drink in certain shops or places like Steak & Shake. We all call it pop in my environs.

Cassandra

I enjoy the ins and outs of things like what you call carbonated beverages and whether your tea will arrive with or without sweetening. They don't imply anything about how smart or stupid or good or bad the people of the area are.

Things like the "rules" bother me much more, because it's always a double-edged sword. A lot of Southerners take pride in keeping things simple, downhome, unpretentious; but they get incensed when they think Northerners assume Southerners are simple, homespun, and unsophisticated. Whoever wrote those rules not only had a lot of hostility upfront regarding Northern visitors, but he/she would also be very annoyed to be up North and hear the Yankees talking about those gravel roads, pickups with gun-racks, and greens and grits.

Both Northerners and Southerners notice the differences and assume what's different is proof of something wrong with the "other" people and the environment. It's human nature BUT nothing entrenches those stereotypes like turning them into a joke, even at one's own expense. You can't have it both ways.

Seamus

C'mon, Cassandra (apt screen name!) - lighten up! One can, in fact, have it both ways - respect and humor are not mutually exclusive. It IS human nature to notice difference - probably vestigial from the days when the world outside the cave was a place truly unpredictable and full of potentially dangerous things. Today our spheres of operation have broadened enormously and as we travel we try to celebrate differences in the name of diversity, and a bit of humor (without fishing for deep, dark implications) goes a long way toward easing the inevitable social friction. In Freudian terms, "it's just a cigar."
Peace out, y'all!

rockhopper7

>It's human nature BUT nothing entrenches those stereotypes like turning them into a joke, even at one's own expense. <

Someone started a "deliberately bad advice" thread on the Europe forum which has predictably devolved into another round of stupid things Americans do in Europe. Cassandra seems to have no problem pandering those negative stereotypes.

Cassandra

There is virtually zero parallel between this thread and that -- none (at least as I review that thread) of the bits of ironic and misleading advice are based in the idea that a culture or nationality is inferior or bizarre. Dissecting humor always kills it but the point of that thread is the trouble tourists can get into if they are clueless enough to follow obviously crazy advice.

Here is my post there, fyi: Airport security agents everywhere have very boring days and love a good sense of humor. Always joke with them.

People in weddings in European churches just love to have tourists take photos of them during the ceremony; be sure to use a flash to get the proper lighting.

Most restaurants will be glad to bring you American-style ketchup, but you may have to tip them an extra Vermont quarter if they do.

(And unfortunately, I saw this actually happen) : if 4 of you are traveling together, you can tell the B&B only two will be sleeping in the room and the other 2 will be camping in the car. Then in the morning, you can all 4 take turns using the hall shower and making a picnic out of the food put out for breakfast.

Another post says: Waiters in Italy are notoriously slow in bringing the cheque. Don't fall for this ploy -- they're just trying to get you to order more vino. If your waiter isn't johnny-on-the-spot with your cheque the minute you finish your tiramisu, grab his attention with a few snaps of your fingers and don't leave him a tip.

In that case, the point is the necessary knowledge that Italian waiters do not bring the check until asked, not -- clearly -- a stereotype of what Italians are like.

I don't think that thread panders and recommend it for some good giggles if you want someone to "lighten up."

soccr

I think Rockhopper's point is that the whole "bad advice" thread makes fun of American tourists -- presumably by other American tourists who know better.

But in fairness nothing about that thread implies that it's always or only American tourists who can be clueless enough to follow lousy advice -- I've seen poor "guest" behavior from just about any nationality, myself.

And most of the bad advice on that thread (it is pretty funny) is so far into the realms of the utterly absurd that it really doesn't read like the "rules" here which do seem to have a grudge behind them.

rockhopper7

The point of the "bad advice" thread is the trouble tourists can get into if they are clueless enough to follow obviously crazy advice? I don't think so.

Most of it is just another rehash of the stereotypical dumb American abroad jokes.

Samuel Clemens has nothing to worry about.

snowrooster

This has been buggin' me for a year at least . . .

What is the other meaning of "Bless Your Heart?"

I've seen it mentioned here before that it has a "hidden meaning" and I've always wondered what it was! Will somebody clue me in???????

Cassandra

Rockhopper may be the one wno needs to lighten up.

But yes, please, what is the "other" meaning of "Bless Your Heart" -- I've been wondering about that for a while. Is it that said one way, "bless your heart" means "well, thank you, you're a nice person for doing/saying that," and said in another context it means, "oh, dear, dear, dear, you really are kind of simpleminded aren't you?"

jorr

About half of the OP's rules also apply in rural Minnesota. I live on a "gravel road". BTW, We are also northerners. We call anything from Maine to Georgia the East Coast. Florida is Florida. the "South" is Florida to Texas, not just the S.E. states. I lived in the South for several years. San Antonio. One thing that I did observe about the south is that they don't want to here about the north. Also, Texans consider any state from Washington to Maine as being The North, and Canadians are from another continent almost. Many don't have a clue about Canada.

snowrooster

Agreed. A lot of things on the list refer to rural living rather than southern living. Someone who lives in rural Indiana (which is not the south) would have a lot more in common with these points than a city dweller in Atlanta, New Orleans, Savannah, etc.

Anyone on the "bless your heart" thing?

ncgrrl

Since I brought up "Bless your heart."

Sometimes a person is in trouble and could use extra blessings. (meaining #1)

Sometimes a person is very troubling and the person saying "bless your heart" learned from a young age to not use 'bad' language. So the person in trouble will get 'blessed out'. (meaing #2).

So, even though the phrase is the same, it has two, completely opposite meanings.

snowrooster

Goodness, I turns out I didn't know either meaning!! When I've heard it used it has always been said like a compliment for doing something nice for someone else. Like if you help someone who needs a hand another person would say, "well bless your heart." The things we all learn on Fodors!!

ncgrrl

Well, we're up to 3 meanings now.

Please feel free to add more.

GoTravel

To me, "Bless Your Heart" means:

You are completely insane and have no idea of what you've just done or are about to do.

Example: Someone says to me, "I'm going sky diving!".

I say,"Bless your heart honey".

Meaning, "Are you out of what passes for your mind????".

JJ5

I've always taken the double meaning to be as Go just said. A dubious negative connotation coupled with a positive and mannerly audio result. Always with the undertone of being "above" the matter or activity of yours being discussed.

Kind of like when you look at a little girl playing makeup that has it all over the places make up isn't supposed to appear- and the grandmother says, "Well, aren't YOU the glamour girl."

And I disagree about several politically correct guidelines discussed here. I respect their opinion and it is the one taught today BUT humor breaks barriers and you CAN have it two ways. Shakespeare knew it for sure.

A stereotype is not particularly a bad thing and has gotten a hell of a beat up meaning in the last 20 years. Lions have teeth, claw, fur but they are not kitty cats. If we don't know about "lion-ness" we don't understand that. We all have to interpret our world through sterotypes. If an infant does not learn that essence, it does not survive because it has to re-know each situation as it occurs.

Jokes about and comparing the we/ them are break downs of many of the negatives we have about each other- regardless of the tone, sometimes even the "mean" ones. You can't block out what you get to know. And then you do get to KNOW the other as people, individuals when they start to communicate after the fact of the joke.

Thanks again, Seamus.

LBhhunter

As a real Southern girl from Mississippi, I loved your “when visiting the South” rules, Seamus! I live on the Mississippi Gulf Coast now, but was raised in a rural community just north of here, dairy farming country. I have also lived briefly over the years in Tewksbury, MA, San Francisco, CA, and San Antonio TX. So I have been exposed to several U.S. cultures.

May I add a couple of comments? A friend from “up north” visiting me remarked that this would never happen there: In downtown traffic, when cars are bumper to bumper, invariably someone will stop and wave to let you in line if you are on a side street trying to get on the main street.

Also, down here, if you order a poboy or a hamburger in a restaurant, the first question will be “Would you like that dressed?” Meaning adding lettuce, tomato, and usually pickles.

One lady from my home town epitomizes the Southern woman of a “certain age”. When someone, usually not from there originally, asks her a rude or a very personal question, instead of giving a rude answer or ignoring the person, she smiles sweetly and says slowly and kindly, “Why, Honey, I just think I don’t want to answer that.” And then she goes on like it never happened. Men age always open the door for ladies of any age, regardless of whether they know them, and would never dream it might offend someone.

Children in small towns under twelve and sometimes older, address all adults as “Miss” or “Mister” when using their first name. My mother, a well known lady in town, was “Miss Betty” to everyone, young and old. Children also will never be heard answering a question with “Yeah”, or even “Yes or No”. It’s always a polite “No ma’am” or “Yes sir”. My grown son, now a successful business man in Atlanta, still pulls out my chair, calls me “Mother” instead of “Mom”, and says “Yes, ma’am” when answering a question I might ask. I am always “jolted” when I hear a child being rude to their parents! Or hear profanity from teenagers. Down here, I’m sure all teenagers do those things, but you won’t hear them saying “ugly words” in front of adults!

Personally, I love being from here and living here. We also happen to have many educated, refined and cultured residents, but I’m sure people from “up north” who have never been here think all of us are like the stereotypes on TV and in the movies. We’ve learned to live with it.

Anyway, thanks for letting me put in my two cents worth. I ran across this site by accident and loved reading the posts.

LBhhunter

Sorry, I had "men of a certain age" and decided to delete the "of a certain age" since almost all men any age open doors. But I accidentally left in the "age", which didn't make sense.

CAPH52

"In downtown traffic, when cars are bumper to bumper, invariably someone will stop and wave to let you in line if you are on a side street trying to get on the main street." That's pretty much expected here in the Chicago suburbs. To the point where people get a bit miffed if they're not let in.

julie_Colorado

this is very funny... and so very true. I took I40 west... never looked back - never came back.