We want to save money for a down payment for our first house instead of spending a lot of money on the wedding. Is Las Vegas the only option? We'll only have about 10-12 guests. Just want to have something small but still memorable. Thank you for any ideas.

$5000 for a 10-12 guests? That's $500/head! I KNOW you could do a lovely wedding for A LOT LESS unless you are considering a destination wedding and picking up the cost for everyone's travel expenses.

This HAS to be a cultural or geographic thing. Expectations must be different in my neck of the woods. I would guess that at least half of the weddings in smaller towns in my area are well within that budget, but they include church weddings with receptions in the church hall/ community room. Simple snacks, punch, cake, etc.

Even a sit-down dinner at a hotel for 10-12 guests would fall well within the budget. If you do host anything at a hotel, join the frequent guest program. Any charges results in points earned and you can use those points for a delayed honeymoon or trip.

The reason I say this may be cultural is based on my amazement to attend my first big Italian Catholic wedding in San Fran with sit-down dinner for hundreds at the Presidio. I was a bridesmaid and I honestly didn't know that anyone spent that kind of money on weddings.

There has been another thread recently discussing wedding locales and someone pointed out that if you chose a locale that is already decorated nicely, you don't have to spend much on flowers, etc.

Mami, where do you live? Where will your wedding be? What type of wedding and reception are your thinking of? I agree with the other posters. Ten to twelve guest and you want to have a deceent wedding for under $5,000.00.

As OWJ said, that is $500.00 per guest. Are you planning to pay for each guest hotel room, weekend meals etc. That would be a big difference compared to a wedding and a small reception.

If you could share your ideas, your thoughts regarding what you are paying for etc, I am sure that you will receive some good ideas here. But at this point I do think everyone is confused as to what you have in mind regarding your wedding and the wedding celebration.

I was curious how one would spend $5000 for a wedding for 10-12 guests so I googled for a wedding package in Savannah.

http://www.savannahweddings.com/wedplan.html#

For $920 you can have a romantic garden wedding in a gazebo that includes, gazebo ceremony, minister, wedding coordinator, music, wedding certificate, and memento (basic package = $395. I added upgrades of the photo and video package, classical guitarist, champagne toast, use of silk bouquet, and carraige ride through Savannah.

If you have a dinner at the Pink House for $100 per person (way high) then that total would be $1500. I would imagine that estimate could easily include a cake for less than 15.

So, you'd have another $2500 in your budget to spend on your dress and ????

I realize you probably aren't in driving distance of Savannah, GA, but I would guess you could find a small but memorable option near you.

Disclaimer - I have no connection to that website. I just googled wedding package in Savannah and that was one of the links provided.

Is the $5,000 including everything ? Dress, photographer, flowers, etc? These things can be expensive. You'll be doing good to find a dress for less than $500 (and the majority of dresses are more - even for something 'simple', plus everything else to go with it - shoes, undergarments, jewelry, and of course whatever the groom will be wearing. A photographer for 3-5 hours will run you at least another $500 (nevermind the prints you want later...), and flowers are expensive too - probably around $100 for your just your bouquet and you'll need corsages and boutineers, maybe a few decorations and floral centerpieces. And then of course there's the things like manicures, wedding hair/makeup if you go that route, etc. Not to mention the cost of your officiant/minister who charges another $200-300 or so.
And there is the cake which can be ridiculously expensive. So you see.... things add up!

I had what I thought was a fairly simple wedding (believe I am the one the pp mentioned about picking a place that's already pretty so decorations were less $$)for about 120 guests and I was shocked at how things added up quickly.

Good luck!

You should buy the house first, then have the wedding at your place. This will save you your biggest expense, the location!

Just a thought!

But... yes,you can have a great wedding on a budget I had a great wedding with 100 people for $5000.00. I've never found Vegas to have the atmosphere I was seeking for my wedding, but to each his own. I'm never sure why anyone thinks it's cheaper to go to Vegas.

You can have a wedding on the beach cheaper than vegas. I've been to many weddings here in Orange County in Dana Point at a park that overlooks the ocean. It's a gorgeous setting at sunset, and not expensive. I did the flowers( among other things) for one and we used all live plants and flowers that were used in the couples home afterward.

Most of the couples had their reception at a local restaurant with a private room.

For $5000.00 and only 12 guests you could also rent a small dinner cruise boat. I've been on several of these for weddings also and they're very memorable for the guests as well as the couple.

You can save on every aspect of your wedding if you keep to your budget. Remember, it's only one day. The one thing all my friends have agreed on is to pick the right photographer. Your pictures (video) will be the one lasting thing you take away from your moment.

Have a wonderful wedding.

Post again if you need more advice.

I think everyone should have a wedding like the couple in Georgia planned before she took off running.
More than 600 people had been invited to Saturday's wedding bash, which was to feature 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen.
Jennifer Wilbanks & John Mason.

Thank you for replying. I'm starting to have some ideas based on your suggestions.

I live near Boston and my guests will be traveling from Texas and Wisconsin. The $5,000 budget includes everything from start to finish including dress, photos, flowers, etc. Also, I need to pick up the travel and lodging cost for about six guests.

We don't even have the location set in mind yet. I've always wanted to have a beach wedding, but have gradually given up the idea thinking it will cost more. Cypress, I wish that we lived near the Orange County to have that beach wedding you talked about!

My goal is to have a simple, happy day with the people closest to my heart and not get stressed over planning for the wedding.

Thanks again, everyone!

Mami -
I live just North of Boston (Newburyport) and my husband and I had a very nice memorable wedding for 75 guests for @ $5,000.

We wanted something special, but not expensive, as costs DO add up quickly.

I found a picture of the dress I wanted in a bridal magazine, then shopped and shopped and shopped. It was $900 in the store near where I live, and I found it for $350 elsewhere.

We hired 2 musicians - violinists - from the Berkeley college of music - $100 for the 2. We hired a soloist we had seen at a friend's wedding for @$100. A slight disappointment was that the church made us either use their organist or pay her anyway. Aside from the fact she was not great, people said the music was the best they have heard for a long time at a wedding.

A friend of ours video-taped the wedding. We scoured the earth for a photographer that was great - different - we didn't want those hokey "hike your dress" wedding shots - and she did a beautiful job and was very reasonable - I forget the cost, but much lower than anyone we spoke with. We had our pictures taken outside in a local park before the wedding so as to have the light and not make people wait.

We splurged on one limo for me and my bridesmaids. My husband wanted to drive to the church in his station wagon and I put my foot down there.

For flowers, I visited florists who were out of sight - we only wanted something simple - and found a local farm that did dried flower arrangements who agreed to go to the Flower Market in Boston, get the flowers and make everything up. I carried a bouquet of white tulips, the girls had small pastel arrangements and the guys a boutineer (?sp). She also did something for the church - white bows on every other pew with candles (we had a nighttime candlelight ceremony) and white baskets filled with azaelas for the church front.

We shopped for our invitations and found some different ones - very different and reasonable in Stratham NH.

For programs, we ordered the covers off the web - cream linen paper with pastel hearts hand-painted. and then did inserts in script on the computer and had a local printer run them off.

The guys wore nice navy suits rather than tuxes, which looked great.

Because we had only 75 people, no restaurant would let us book for a Sat., so we booked early Sun eve - wedding was at 6pm, and had a "cocktail reception" (pass around by waiters then a buffet later) at a local inn/restaurant. They did the cake also, for @ $1,000. I had checked different halls and locations and they were ridiculous.

We wanted live music but couldn't afford a band, so hired a local guitarist we had seen at a place in town. He was great.

I wanted an outdoor wedding (my boss had offered me his backyard), but with NE weather I didn't want to chance it -even with a tent. The inn was right across from the church, so people loved it.

The rest of the $$ went to bridesmaids gifts, groomsmens gifts. My mother-in-law had the rehearsal dinner at our house and she made everything. It was great - informal and fun.

I found the bridesmaids dresses at a local shop - off the shoulder, print "cocktail" length so that they could wear them again. I hate the typical bridesmaid dress "prom" look (or that was out when I got married - they've probably improved).

We also were saving for a house, so couldn't see spending more than 5k on one day, but our wedding was simple and beautiful. I was shocked on the mark-up people charge for normal items when you say it is for a wedding. We were determined not to get ripped off. We were just creative and took time to search - good luck!!

I confess that I don't understand the wedding "industry" and I applaud everyone who is offering good advice here to help yet another to couple to avoid falling into the trap of believing that it is necessary to spend many thousands of dollars. mami, you show a great sense of priorities to be making the comparison against the ability to have a down payment on your first house and I'm pausing here to give you a standing ovation! :

=D> =D> =D>

I have no doubt that you will continue to receive a lot of good suggestions from thoughtful and resourceful people here. All I can tell you is that my wife and were married by a justice of the peace for $10 almost 30 years ago. We went out for a pizza afterward and when we showed the bartender our freshly minted marriage certificate, she threw in a free pitcher of beer. That's about as humble of a beginning as people can have. On the other hand, it has lasted a lot longer than many of the far more expensive weddings that we've been to since then. So many people would be so much better off if they thought a little less about WEDDINGS and a lot more about marriage.

I had a fairly expensive wedding which I loved but in hindsight you really get caught up in so many thins you really don't need.

A few hints: serve wine and beer only or no alcohol if you don’t drink. Have the wedding at a time of day when you can have passed hors d’oeuvres and cake (brunch ends to be less also). Have the wedding at a place that has its own garden/flowers so you need minimal flowers.

Good Luck!

Congratulations on 30 years, Flyboy! I really loved your post.

Wanderer, your wedding sounds lovely. What a wonderful job you did! I know Newburyport quite well, and am wondering which inn/restaurant accommodated you so nicely. Great idea to get your violinists at the Conservatory!

Mami... Best Wishes! I think you'll have many options. I'm wondering if the Fuller Rose Garden on Rye Beach is available for wedding ceremonies/photos. What time of year are you hoping to be married? With 10-12 guests, I'm wondering if you can book a small private room at a restaurant and call it a "family reunion" for a better rate. There are so many resorts and restaurants in the Portsmouth, NH area, or between Newburyport, Mass and York, Maine. Somebody must have a smaller function room with an ocean view! And I love the idea above of the dinner boat cruise. Good Luck with your decisions! (Please let us know what you decide.)

Lake Tahoe. It's beautiful there, with lots to do for honeymoon (or if you invite guests).

cypress:

its cheaper to go to Vegas because you can make it a wedding/honeymoon destination well under $5,000. Just for curiousity sake I did a search under those chapels, most wedding packages were $1,000 and under and that included everything except the brides grooms outfits.

Look into renting a small B&B for you and your guests. Have the wedding there with a simple reception. I've rented out a small (6 room) B&B (in ira's hometown) to house guests and host a reception for 30 and everyone enjoyed themselves - and there was NO stress on me.

Are you sure you have to pick up the travel expenses for six guests?

I too applaud your sense of priorities and resourcefulness. I think Cypress's idea of buying the house first is brilliant really!!

I seriously question the notion of your having to pick up the travel and lodging expenses for 6 people??? If you are a young couple just starting out, I think that's an outrage, I don't care who they are, grandparents, parents even. Not cool. Goes waaay above and beyond IMO. If it's absolutely necessary, maybe the other 6 people have their own resources and you'd be better off selecting a location closer to Texas and/or Wisconsin.

Have you considered eloping? You and your fiance could get married at a honeymoon location and return and have a nice celebration w/o wedding dress, music etc.

Sit down with your fiance and figure out what the most important things to you are and go from there. Lots of good luck and please keep us posted

Not to scare you Mami, but who thought their wedding was just one BIG headache and was just totally stressed out by it all?? I know I was and I couldn't wait to get on our honeymoon and just relax!! What happened to, "it's your wedding, the happiest day of your life??"

One option would be a small wedding (virtual elopement) at a honeymoon location even if it's a weekend trip to the Cape.

THEN travel to Texas and Wisconsin sometime in the next 6 months and allow family members to host a small reception or dinner in your honor for those who were "not able" to travel to Boston for the wedding.

"Not able" because I would not pay their personal travel and lodging expenses to get there.

PS- My hairdresser jokes that she had the last heterosexual wedding in P'town at City Hall! Justice of the Peace wedding with a lunch with friends afterwards.

Not a bad idea. You could spend $500 on a similar wedding and put $4500 away for the down payment on your first house.

Two words: destination wedding

Since you have people coming from long distances anyway it won't make people have to spend money to get to your wedding that normally wouldn't have to (hometown people).

Beaches, hotel, parks, B&B's, historical sites, etc. can be rented for a low fee or can be free.

We bought everything possible on Ebay--dress, petticoat, tiara, veil, gloves, necklace, earrings, shoes, guest book. We then sold most of it back on ebay, of course at a cheaper price since it was used and got a lot of our money back. We were not unhappy with one, single thing.

The dress was a $1200 Maggie Sottero that my daughter had her heart set on. It had been worn once, was in perfect condition and we got it for $500. I then sold it for $300 so we were only out $200 for a $1200 dress!

You don't have to feed everyone a meal. It's not necessary but if you want to do something, finger foods are much cheaper than a meal.

Burn your own CD with your music and have someone play it at appropriate times. You pay a DJ a lot of money to push a button on and off.

We did have a professonal photographer but I will tell you that a family friend took a lot of pictures that were as good or better than his and he has an excellent reputation.

My daughter used silk flowers and did them herself. She isn't particularly talented at it but everyone thought they were professional.

We did this in December and it worked out great. Everyone was all together for three days so we had a lot more opportunity to get to know each other's families and bond. If we had done it in our hometown, everyone would have gone home instead of hanging out together. I wouldn't take for that time.