Patrick's Day of Hell: Ft. Myers to New York
Jun 2nd, 2005, 05:10 AM
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Patrick's Day of Hell: Ft. Myers to New York
Wednesday, June 1, 2005
4:30 AM: Alarm goes off. Why did we think it was a good idea to take the 7:05 AM flight from Ft. Myers to New York.
5:30 AM: Halfway to Ft. Myers, we can't see through the blinding rain on the interstate. People have pulled off the side of the road. We press on.
5:50 AM: We arrive at RSW and pull into the long term (economy) lot-- the one with the sign saying "SHUTTLE TO TERMINAL". The rain has let up, but as we pull into a space near one of the shuttle shelters, the skies open up again and more blinding rain.
6:00 AM: We've been sitting in our car hoping the rain would let up, we knew we'll be drenched if we try to make a run for it to the shelter, but decide we must try anyway. We are also starting to wonder why we've not seen a shuttle bus.
6:10 AM: We've been standing soaking wet in the shuttle shelter for 10 minutes and still no sign of a bus. Our umbrellas were of no use as the rain is pouring down sideways. We decide we must head to the terminal on our own. Fortunately we're at the close end of the lot, so it's only about 100-150 yards to the terminal. We start out. There is a "river" going across the sidewalk at one point. To go around it, means stepping into virtual swampy mud. We walk through it. It is about 6 to 8 inches deep, over the tops of our shoes. We are wading through water well above our ankles.
6:20 AM: We've arrived in the terminal. I take off my Blazer and hold it out to the side. Water pours out of it. Hugo Boss somewhere across the country turns pale. My pants are soaked all the way to my waste. I remove my Ecco shoes and literally pour the water out of them and put them back on. We check in with the automatic machines and check our one large bag, which I've managed to lift above most of the water, but it is soaking wet. We shall see if Hartman rolling duffles really are waterproof. I don't want to look now.
6:30 We are through security, and I'm blissfully sipping a Starbucks. They say our plane will depart on time. We can see it sitting at the gate.
7:05 AM: Time for departure. Our American Eagle to Miami is clearly not going anywhere. Thelightning outside temporarily blinds us every 30 seconds or so.
9:00 AM: We've been told off and on that yes we will go, no we won't, maybe we will. We've already had them add us as a reservation on the 10:40 flight from Miami to LaGuardia as we've clearly missed our original 8:45 connection.
10:00 AM: They finally decide to cancel the flight. Other flights are going off but not our Eagle flight. They are going to bring in two busses and drive everyone to Miami. We're looking at arriving in Miami by bus about 1:30 in the afternoon with no assurance we will get to New York. We have them book us on another airline. They try a direct flight on Jet Blue but it is already oversold. They offer Delta flights connecting in Atlanta, but we bulk. I find a Delta Song flight leaving at 12:10 non stop Ft. Myers to JFK. They put us on that.
11:00 AM: We've reclaimed our bag, even wetter now than before -- it apparently sat on a luggage cart in the pouring rain. We've gone through security again after checking in at Delta. We were both flagged for additional security screening. When we are sitting half way, stripped (remove shoes, belts, jackets, etc) the power goes off in the airport. We are delayed while they wait for it to come back on as the machinery won't work on auxiliary power. After 15 mintues we're on our way to the gate -- plenty of time to spare.
(More to come)
4:30 AM: Alarm goes off. Why did we think it was a good idea to take the 7:05 AM flight from Ft. Myers to New York.
5:30 AM: Halfway to Ft. Myers, we can't see through the blinding rain on the interstate. People have pulled off the side of the road. We press on.
5:50 AM: We arrive at RSW and pull into the long term (economy) lot-- the one with the sign saying "SHUTTLE TO TERMINAL". The rain has let up, but as we pull into a space near one of the shuttle shelters, the skies open up again and more blinding rain.
6:00 AM: We've been sitting in our car hoping the rain would let up, we knew we'll be drenched if we try to make a run for it to the shelter, but decide we must try anyway. We are also starting to wonder why we've not seen a shuttle bus.
6:10 AM: We've been standing soaking wet in the shuttle shelter for 10 minutes and still no sign of a bus. Our umbrellas were of no use as the rain is pouring down sideways. We decide we must head to the terminal on our own. Fortunately we're at the close end of the lot, so it's only about 100-150 yards to the terminal. We start out. There is a "river" going across the sidewalk at one point. To go around it, means stepping into virtual swampy mud. We walk through it. It is about 6 to 8 inches deep, over the tops of our shoes. We are wading through water well above our ankles.
6:20 AM: We've arrived in the terminal. I take off my Blazer and hold it out to the side. Water pours out of it. Hugo Boss somewhere across the country turns pale. My pants are soaked all the way to my waste. I remove my Ecco shoes and literally pour the water out of them and put them back on. We check in with the automatic machines and check our one large bag, which I've managed to lift above most of the water, but it is soaking wet. We shall see if Hartman rolling duffles really are waterproof. I don't want to look now.
6:30 We are through security, and I'm blissfully sipping a Starbucks. They say our plane will depart on time. We can see it sitting at the gate.
7:05 AM: Time for departure. Our American Eagle to Miami is clearly not going anywhere. Thelightning outside temporarily blinds us every 30 seconds or so.
9:00 AM: We've been told off and on that yes we will go, no we won't, maybe we will. We've already had them add us as a reservation on the 10:40 flight from Miami to LaGuardia as we've clearly missed our original 8:45 connection.
10:00 AM: They finally decide to cancel the flight. Other flights are going off but not our Eagle flight. They are going to bring in two busses and drive everyone to Miami. We're looking at arriving in Miami by bus about 1:30 in the afternoon with no assurance we will get to New York. We have them book us on another airline. They try a direct flight on Jet Blue but it is already oversold. They offer Delta flights connecting in Atlanta, but we bulk. I find a Delta Song flight leaving at 12:10 non stop Ft. Myers to JFK. They put us on that.
11:00 AM: We've reclaimed our bag, even wetter now than before -- it apparently sat on a luggage cart in the pouring rain. We've gone through security again after checking in at Delta. We were both flagged for additional security screening. When we are sitting half way, stripped (remove shoes, belts, jackets, etc) the power goes off in the airport. We are delayed while they wait for it to come back on as the machinery won't work on auxiliary power. After 15 mintues we're on our way to the gate -- plenty of time to spare.
(More to come)
Jun 2nd, 2005, 05:29 AM
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12 Noon: We're at our gate, the Delta Song flight came in a few minutes late and it looks like we'll be delayed as well. We've called the owner of the apartment in New York several times to update him on our progress. He doesn't think we're coming to New York at all.
12:35 PM: Ah, we're in our seats and the plane is departing, only 25 minutes late.
1:15 PM: Delta Song food for purchase. Having canceled our lunch reservation in New York (which was to be at 1PM) my diabetes is kicking in. We order the monthly special on Song --a grilled chicken breast with sticky black rice and Asian slaw with a ginger/soy dressing. If this would have been served to me on a nice plate in a good restaurant and they had charged me $20 or so, I'd still be happy. At $8 it is clearly the best airplane food I've ever had in my life. Or was I just that hungry?
2:30 PM: I just discovered the trivia quiz you play against all the other contestants on the plane through your individual touchscreen. I'm the winner of the last round (the only full round I played) just as we touch down at JFK, right on scheduled time. . .
2:50 PM: We've landed. We're in New York. Life is good again. The weather is beautiful.
3:50 PM: We retrieve our luggage. Yes, that's right -- one hour waiting. Delta apologies three times on the loudspeaker for the delay.
3:55 PM: We are in a taxi. I call the apartment owner and tell him we should be there in an hour.
4:00 PM: We have just left the airport and the traffic has stopped. I remark that it seems awfully heavy for inbound late afternoon traffic. The taxi driver says this isn't normal. Something big must have happened. He turns on the radio to get the traffic report. Almost immediately we hear "an unbelievable jam-up on the Grand Central Parkway. A car is overturned at the Long Island Expressway".
5:00 PM. We're sitting in the taxi looking at Shea Stadium. We've gone what --6 to 10 miles in the past hour?
5:45 PM: Traffic cleared right after Shea Stadium and we arrive at our apartment at 51st between 9th and 10th. The owner is anxious. It has taken us an hour and 45 minutes to get there from JFK. The apartment is fun. The young owner who is some young computer wizard who travels constantly obviously has a flair for the dramatic. We have bright colors, some upscale decorating touches, and an entire apartment filled with hardware including tv's that do thousands of channels, controls to do any kind of sound, a computer all set up, phone for unlimited free calls anywhere in the world, and major entertainment systems in the bedroom. I'll be lucky if I can figure out how to turn any of it on.
6:15 pm: We've unpacked. Our clothes are laid out across the entire apartment -- socks, underwear scattered everywhere in the hopes it will all dry by morning. Everything is pretty wet. My blazer may never look the same.
7:15 PM: Cocktails at Sardi's and scarf down some of their horseradish cheese on Ritz crackers.
8:00 PM: Front row mezzanine seats for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Wonderful show. I had finally rented the movie just two nights before. The entire cast is wonderful, particularly the three leads. Life is really good.
11:00 Dinner at Joe Allen's. Both eating calves liver with mashed potatoes and sauteed spinach with garlic. I'm happy.
Midnight: We fall into bed -- a wonderful thing that sits nearly 3 feet off the floor. I fall asleep immediately.
LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN.
12:35 PM: Ah, we're in our seats and the plane is departing, only 25 minutes late.
1:15 PM: Delta Song food for purchase. Having canceled our lunch reservation in New York (which was to be at 1PM) my diabetes is kicking in. We order the monthly special on Song --a grilled chicken breast with sticky black rice and Asian slaw with a ginger/soy dressing. If this would have been served to me on a nice plate in a good restaurant and they had charged me $20 or so, I'd still be happy. At $8 it is clearly the best airplane food I've ever had in my life. Or was I just that hungry?
2:30 PM: I just discovered the trivia quiz you play against all the other contestants on the plane through your individual touchscreen. I'm the winner of the last round (the only full round I played) just as we touch down at JFK, right on scheduled time. . .
2:50 PM: We've landed. We're in New York. Life is good again. The weather is beautiful.
3:50 PM: We retrieve our luggage. Yes, that's right -- one hour waiting. Delta apologies three times on the loudspeaker for the delay.
3:55 PM: We are in a taxi. I call the apartment owner and tell him we should be there in an hour.
4:00 PM: We have just left the airport and the traffic has stopped. I remark that it seems awfully heavy for inbound late afternoon traffic. The taxi driver says this isn't normal. Something big must have happened. He turns on the radio to get the traffic report. Almost immediately we hear "an unbelievable jam-up on the Grand Central Parkway. A car is overturned at the Long Island Expressway".
5:00 PM. We're sitting in the taxi looking at Shea Stadium. We've gone what --6 to 10 miles in the past hour?
5:45 PM: Traffic cleared right after Shea Stadium and we arrive at our apartment at 51st between 9th and 10th. The owner is anxious. It has taken us an hour and 45 minutes to get there from JFK. The apartment is fun. The young owner who is some young computer wizard who travels constantly obviously has a flair for the dramatic. We have bright colors, some upscale decorating touches, and an entire apartment filled with hardware including tv's that do thousands of channels, controls to do any kind of sound, a computer all set up, phone for unlimited free calls anywhere in the world, and major entertainment systems in the bedroom. I'll be lucky if I can figure out how to turn any of it on.
6:15 pm: We've unpacked. Our clothes are laid out across the entire apartment -- socks, underwear scattered everywhere in the hopes it will all dry by morning. Everything is pretty wet. My blazer may never look the same.
7:15 PM: Cocktails at Sardi's and scarf down some of their horseradish cheese on Ritz crackers.
8:00 PM: Front row mezzanine seats for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Wonderful show. I had finally rented the movie just two nights before. The entire cast is wonderful, particularly the three leads. Life is really good.
11:00 Dinner at Joe Allen's. Both eating calves liver with mashed potatoes and sauteed spinach with garlic. I'm happy.
Midnight: We fall into bed -- a wonderful thing that sits nearly 3 feet off the floor. I fall asleep immediately.
LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN.
Jun 2nd, 2005, 05:46 AM
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Gee Patrick, and there I was thinking it was only me that stuff like this happens to, lol. That's sunny Florida for ya, one minute blazing sunshine and the next, a pounding rain as if to punish you. At least they didn't leave you sitting on the plane for two hours -- anyway, it sounds like you managed to turn the balance of the day into a winner 
Enjoy your trip! And, by the way, welcome back to New York
Enjoy your trip! And, by the way, welcome back to New York
Jun 2nd, 2005, 05:51 AM
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Welcome home. What a day from hell you had! What else are you seeing while you are here? On Golden Pond is terrific. Steel Magnolias was awful. I LOVED Scoundrels and saw it twice. Light in the Piazza was good, but a little overrated.
Jun 2nd, 2005, 06:00 AM
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Golly, Patrick, that's a worse nightmare than what happened to you at Tavern on the Green! 
Delta Song is a cool airline, isn't it? The food is good, and they even serve their martinis in martini glasses (they are plastic, but it's the thought that counts!).
Delta Song is a cool airline, isn't it? The food is good, and they even serve their martinis in martini glasses (they are plastic, but it's the thought that counts!).
Jun 2nd, 2005, 06:14 AM
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Why are these stories so funny when you read about them happening to someone ELSE other than you? I feel for your frustration and aggravation. Just hearing "Long Island Expressway" makes me shudder!
All's well that ends well, right?
All's well that ends well, right?
Jun 2nd, 2005, 06:37 AM
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Oh, Patrick, what a trooper you are! Exactly, how much did that 1 hour and 45 minute taxi ride from JFK cost?! I'm glad the day ended on a high note. Reading your assessment I had to laugh--as other posters noted I think those things only happen to us.
"Hugo Boss somewhere across the country turns pale."
"Hugo Boss somewhere across the country turns pale."
Jun 2nd, 2005, 07:48 AM
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Ah Patrick, at least you made it to our wonderful city. I'll probably bump into you Sat. Night if you are at the theatre (even tho we won't know it). I'll be seeing Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, glad to hear you liked it.
Jun 2nd, 2005, 08:50 AM
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Hi Patrick,
Glad your trip shapped up enough that you didn't miss the performance!
You could have pretended you were in Venice, during Aqua Alta, and on the Amazing Race, trying to find the best flight to NY......
Glad your trip shapped up enough that you didn't miss the performance!
You could have pretended you were in Venice, during Aqua Alta, and on the Amazing Race, trying to find the best flight to NY......
Jun 2nd, 2005, 09:46 AM
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Patrick,
I believe you have the makings of a very funny short film here, may I have the rights?
How long are you staying? Where else have you/are you dined/dining?
Please share more on the show!
Thanks.
AL
I believe you have the makings of a very funny short film here, may I have the rights?
How long are you staying? Where else have you/are you dined/dining?
Please share more on the show!
Thanks.
AL
