My son is now 10--but very "petite". He and I travel a lot alone together by air and on the road, and he's very well-behaved, and knows how to be careful. Usually we can use "family" bathrooms in large airports or other large public places...but sometimes, that's not an option.

I'm very nervous about sending him alone into large men's restrooms in public places. There are so many stories....men's bathrooms (with apologies to most men!) just aren't always the safest places for unaccompanied boys. (I don't worry as much when he waits for me--I'm not a neurotic worrywart!)

And, of course, he's getting a bit old to go into the women's bathroom with me, even though he is very conscientious about other people's privacy.

Does anyone--esp. any single moms with boys-- have suggestions of how to handle the problem? It's just the next two years or so, 'til he gets a bit bigger, a bit more confident in himself, and is a less tempting target. I know the problem never really goes away, but hopefully our children gain more skill as they mature in knowing who to avoid and how to avoid them.

Thanks.

oops. Very sorry folks. I posted a few days ago, and when I checked back, I didn't see that post...I was having computer problems, so blamed it on my computer.....but now I see it....thanks EVERYONE!

just so this doesn't cause confusion - here is a link to momtravels original post

http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...1&tid=34734524

btw - momtravel's original post has now been closed and you can't post there anymore.

momtravel - I hope you got reassurance regarding your son and the Mens' bathroom.

You certainly raised some controversy

Just want to clarify. You want him to continue using the women's bathroom for "the next two years or so, 'til he get a little bigger, a little more confident in himself..."? He's 10 now. He'll be ready around 12 or so?

Speaking as a mother of three boys and a grandmother of six, your 10 year old, regardless of his size, is of an age when he needs to use the men's restroom. Mentally, he is a growing 10 year old. It's time to start loosening those aprons strings.

Your best bet is to stand in the hall out side the RR so that you can see who goes in and out. Young boys have gotten into trouble with preverts in the restrooms at schools and even churches. You certainly don't expect to escort him there do you?

momtravel - Forgetting all the people who are certain they know what is best for your son and that you couldn't possibly, even though you're his mother and have known him personally his whole life . . .

A really great book you might like to read about protecting our children is called "Protecting the Gift". It's written by Gavin deBecker, and discusses how to best teach children (and moms) to trust their instincts in judging people when they are in a situation that requires it. It's not too late to start instilling these skills in your son, so that you can feel better about his safety when he is in a situation where you're not there to help out.

A twelve year old in the ladies room? I'd call security.

Mom, give up on it and stop smothering him.

Agree with you GoTravel that 10-12 yr. olds shouldn't be in women's public restrooms, but drop the "smothering" cliche, for pete's sake -- give a mom advice, not knee-jerk anti-mommism.

hi momtravel, There are 82 replies on your first posting which Fodor's editors have now closed to new additions (that's why it is further down the list and you might not have seen it).

i'm not sure how helpful the replies will be to you, but the majority of the posters agreed, as you also say above, that of course he's getting a bit old to go into the women's bathroom, and have given various suggestions of how to best deal with the situation.

momtravel - if you click on your name up where it reads "Welcome momtravel" you will see on the left a list of all threads that you have participated in.

In fact, if you click on the name on an individual post on the line where it reads "Author: xxxxxxxx" you will see the threads that member has posted to.

Re: this topic: this horse is dead. We've beaten it to death. Kudos to "jlm_mi" for actually providing a resource, the book "Protecting the Gift" written by Gavin deBecker; the rest of us have merely given opinions.