Mole people in tunnels in NYC

Old Jun 15th, 2009, 04:39 AM
  #141  
 
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No. JRoth does not think that a thread about the mole people is "inane". It was the original post that indicated fear to visit the city because of the presence of mole people that is inane. Quite some time ago the Times had an article about this population group in the city - an interesting article.
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Old Jun 15th, 2009, 05:29 AM
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I have been lving underground for the past nine years and this is the craziest thing I have ever read. And when I emerged and saw what was going on, I decided to mole my way back underground. It was something like the Groundhog and his shadow but I saw people buying coffeee for $5 a cup and tourists with green things around their haeads like Statue of Liberty. People have gone mad. See you again in nine years.
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Old Jun 15th, 2009, 05:35 AM
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I saw this post and immediately thought of the Childs / Preston book Reliquary, which was mentioned above. Out of sight, out of mind, if they even exist.
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Old Jun 15th, 2009, 05:59 AM
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I've always loved this post - one of my Fodors favorites - priceless self parodies. Thanks for topping
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Old Jun 15th, 2009, 06:51 PM
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The mole people have been studied extensively by anthropologists and even sociologists. Their culture is not a simple one. They of course are divided into moles and femoles. This is where the trouble starts. As adolescents the young moles and young femoles go to live in what they euphemistically call "long houses". Actually, they are simply caves and tunnels. There they are free to explore their "young mole subculture." You can only imagine. Some anthropologists have written about their "No Mole Left Behind" program. One of their main foods is "mole' " like for example, Chicken Mple'. It is a chocolate dish w/ chilli peppers. Much like the molicans eat. Invented by the Aztecs. Or something.
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Old Jun 15th, 2009, 06:52 PM
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Oops. Forgot one thing. One anthropologist who has studied them is Bronislaw Molinowski.
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Old Jun 15th, 2009, 08:34 PM
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Sobster you forgot some important findings. Their favorite snack is S'moles. This when in the heat of the day left over chocolates melts on styrofoam peanuts. "Yummole," says their favorite cooking show hostess who also lookd like a rodent. And they are fearful of illegals called guaca-moles of taking their jobs.
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Old Jun 16th, 2009, 06:47 AM
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Dang, Sr. Adu-I wish I had thought of the guaca-mole thing!
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Old Jun 16th, 2009, 06:54 AM
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Vitamin D deficiencies aside, their skin must be wrinkle free. They could do ad work for Ole of Molay.

well, back to my caramole latte.
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Old Jun 16th, 2009, 06:59 PM
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Ya know they have "fights" down there. They're sort of like bullfights but of course there are no bulls. Other animals, yes. Anyway, when the "Human fighter" makes a particularly nice "pass" or some really nice cape work the crowd yells "!MOLE'!"
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Old Jun 16th, 2009, 07:43 PM
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I think you all are full of it and there isn't anything remoletly true about this thread. If they had a government it would have to be a molearchy which is highly doubtful and you all are making a molehill out of nothing. You must stop this moleism. Stop being so moleodic and molelaberate and stop being remoletly. Go back to watching TV with your remolte control or the thermole (a mole of a highly explosive substance) might pay you a visit.
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Old Jun 17th, 2009, 12:58 AM
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As a psuedo-scentist, I have great respect and use for moles.

As everyone knows a mole is simply a unit of measurement. Units are invented when existing units are inadequate. Yet using absolute numbers of atoms, mole-cules, and ions would be confusing, too.

The great Adam Ian Mole, a member of the Native American tribe the Semimoles, founded the pot mole, and began filling them with mole tar. He did, however, run afoul of the prudes when he created the artifical sweetener mole-asses.
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Old Jun 17th, 2009, 03:19 AM
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I am European, and with great interest, I have been reading this thread. I had not been to New York for the last 15 years, and even then, just briefly. So I do not know much about New York.

But I have carefully analyzed the posts in this thread and I have come to the conclusion that "Mole people" or "C.H.U.D." must be immigrants from Europe who have kept their native lifestyle after arriving in America.

In Europe, there has always lived a race of people who are "living in darkness, pale, sensitive to sunlight and feeding on human blood".

The ancient Greek governor Phlegon (under King Philipp of Macedonia) has written about an undead lady who regularly emerged from her grave in order to visit her fiancee at night. Philostratos wrote about "Empusa", a pale lady who used to feed on "beautiful and young" human bodies because "their blood was fresh and clean".

Many great European writers like Goethe, Byron, Hoffmann, Heine, Mérimée, Gautier, Baudelaire, Comte de Lautréamont, Gogol, Tolstoy wrote about those people whose offspring have obviously migrated over the pond to New York.

I strongly suggest that your former President, W., who has now retired, should pay a visit to the C.H.U.D. in order to improve their living conditions. They might like him.
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Old Jun 17th, 2009, 04:01 AM
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Rush Limbaugh has come forward to be the Voice of the Mole People (formerly known as Conservative Republicans)... they are a race of pasty white americans that have been forced underground and are identified by their high-pitched whining... we've come a long way since the original post in driving them away!!!!!
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Old Jun 17th, 2009, 10:44 AM
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Have been reviewing previous posts and although there appears to be some humorous content - this is a serious matter. First - the actual meaning and derivation of the word "mole". This is a distortion and adaptation of the original hebrew which transliterated is "mohel" - pronounced moyl. A mole (as spelled in this thread) or a mohel is the ritual specialist who performs the ancient Jewish rite of circumcision. Apparently a number of them have gone underground (as noted in the original post) and can be found in places like Grand Central Station. And they do have a mission. And that is to perform this ritual on unsuspecting travelers and visitors to the city. Statistics do not exist on the number of succesful performances of this ritual that have taken place -- but my advice to visitors who are not anxious to have some excess tissue removed - keep your legs crossed.
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Old Jun 17th, 2009, 11:54 AM
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Funny the moles didn't look Jewish.
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Old Jun 17th, 2009, 12:11 PM
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>>>to have some excess tissue removed
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Old Jun 18th, 2009, 07:12 AM
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How do the mole people fend themselves off against the legendary NYC tunnel alligators?

There is a wonderful / weird BBC series by Neil Gaiman called "Neverwhere" which is about the mole people living under London. If you have Netflix you can stream seasons 1 and 2.
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Old Jun 18th, 2009, 06:14 PM
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O spose someone should do the moyel thing and cut this thread OFF!
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Old Jun 18th, 2009, 07:50 PM
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I am going to eat some chips with guaca-mole.

By the way, the moyel cuts something else off not a thread on fodors.

Thanks for the laughs, guys!
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