BarsonMars???

Full leather or latex, ONLY; whips and chains optional.

Come on folks! Everyone who's anyone has seen "Mars Attacks" and know what kind of evil lurks there. pure and simple evil. They will try to lure you with Mars Bars and whiskey.

What's black and white and red all over?

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.

The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars", he answered, "because I wish to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.
He asked for two million dollars. "I wish to give a million to my family, he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was Mr. Again. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewers ear, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked. Mr. Again replied, $1 million is for you, Ill keep $1 million, and we’ll give the American engineer $1 million and send him to Mars."

Does everyone know that MEn are from Mars?
Will PDQ please come forward

Johnthedork-

Whatever you do, do NOT wear your moonboots. They will laugh you off the planet.

Well, if it came to the name-calling, zephia, the answer to your old joke question is newspaper.

Didn't want to spoil your fun till reading your last post. Tsk, tsk. Not nice.

I SWEAR! Not intentional!

John the DORF, my apologies.

Faina, it's a MARTIAN newspaper, silly! (oops, there I go with the name-calling again...)

I'm sure that back in the gay 90's (not that there's anything wrong with that), it was realtively cheap to go to Mars. But everthing is much more expensive these days, and you won't get anything near what you've paid for. The canals are all dried up, and the eco-nazis are rioting for water rationing and more oxygen -- as reported by Glenn Beck in "50 Ways to Leave Your Martian".

Watch out that you don't get a room overlooking the WMD pit, it's very smelly. And be wary of timeshare aliens, they will take as much of your time as they can get!