PARROT HUMOR: I call for a plumber for "obvious reasons". My parrot has to know "Who" is in the house and "What" is he doing; he chirps continually (but doesn't speak a word)he's hoping this will gain him access to the man. It works, I can't stand a moment more of his 'birdie calls'. I pick him up and cradle him into my chest (his 2nd favorite perch) there he begins chewing his toe nails and peering over the plumbers head. Mean while the plumber is wondering what the heck I am doing and what's with the bird? I go in 2 - 3 times so my parrot will stay quite. Needless to say the plumber thinks I'm a nut case. Upon leaving the house, I walk the plumber to the door,(the parrot is still chewing his nails) and I say thank you. The plumber turns to walk away and the parrot begins to laugh hysterically!!! He laughs so loud @ hard that he begins to SNORT. I start laughing the plumber turns around and the parrot is silent, I look like a fool again!! I'll call a different plumber next time, I get the feeling he would'nt come back any ways.

funny Gabby thanks.
CJ I just tried to tell that joke a second time I seem to enjoy it more than the people listening to me. They tell me I wreck the punch line by laughing come on CJ give us the joke.

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I always find the onion website amusing...
www.onion.com

ttt for laughter

Experience in the doctor’s office

There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists
you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients. I know we all have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a
crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment
in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with
your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with
the doctor in private."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.The receptionist smiled smugly asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he
had taken her advice.

"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

The doctor's office erupted in laughter.

I don't think any of the above compare with the humor that resulted from the recent thread "Traveling With Plastic Sheets and Duct Tape.

Yes, we all have jor to thank for that one. It's a keeper. Thanks, jor.

I saw someone trip today. That always makes me laugh.

Hi All

The duck (sorry) duct tape thread made me laugh although Fodors took it of ( if you had'nt read it just click on my name and it should come up.)

During these times we need a laugh.

anyway thanks all I certainly rather spend an evening on here than watching constant news flashes and broadcasts about panic and terror on tv or radio. life too short anyway!

thanks all

clare

Check out www.bored.com

Our bathroom mirror.

BB

keep it coming!

http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/dah18/america/page2.html

Don't forget pages 2 & 3!

This is (supposedly) a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room service at a
hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic
Review:

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees."
Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: "Rye. Ruin sorbees. Morny! Jewish to odor sunteen??"
G: "Uh, yes, I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den - fry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry...scrambled, please."
RS: "Ow July dee baychem - crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine"
RS: "Hokay. An San toes?"
G: "What?"
RS: "San toes. July San toes?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."
RS: "Toes! Toes! Why jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.'
Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No, just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter - just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,
tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G: "You're welcome"

This happenned a few months ago (while traveling); my kids just now reminded me of it:

My daughter and I were discussing whether to prononce the word affluent - AFfluent or afFLUent. I suggested that she look it up in the dictionary when we got home.

My ten year old son said, "and then we can look up Uranus, too". He pronounced it urANus, and didn't think about how that suggestion sounded until my daughter and I burst out laughing. The background on this is that we had been discussing how to pronounce that word a few days earlier.

I think that post by Austin was derrogatory towards those who speak a different language other than English. I wonder if they make fun of us and the way we speak in their emails. It was funny though......

Jor has made me laugh today and prior 2 days with the duct tape and fruit cake posts.

S.H. was overheard saying "Is it just me, or is that M.J. one weird guy?"

Since Spring Training just started...a baseball joke:


A man moves from Scotland to the US and attends his first baseball game. After a base hit he hears the fans roaring, "Run! Run!"

The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman, catching on,  stands up and shouts along with the crowdnbsp; "R-r-r-un.  R-r-run!"

The next batter holds his swing at 3 and 2 and as the umpire calls,"Take your base", begins to walk toward 1st base.  The Scotsman stands up, yelling,  "RRRun, ya bloody bahstard, rrrun!" All the surrounding fans giggle quietly so he sits down, very much confused.

A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers, "He doesn't have to run; he got four balls."

The Scotsman stands up in disbelief and shouts, "Walk with prrrride, man! Walk with prrrride!!"