I will be going to N.M. for some very much needed R&R. I plan on flying into Albuquerque(10/16 for 12 days), then exploring Santa Fe, and Taos. Any suggestions on lodging, activities, spas. First time visitor to N.M.

ABQ is unattractive and dull in my biased opinion. Santa Fe and Taos and Los Alamos and Bandelier and Four Corners are wonderful, absolutely exceptional places to get away from the world, de-stress, and enjoy some very special scenery.
Be aware that it'll be cold at night. But daytime temps should be pleasant.
What kind of lodging do you seek?

In Taos and Santa Fe I was thinking of a B&B. Since I'm flying into Albuquerque I'll probably get a room in "Old Town".
Any suggestions?

My advice is negotiate hard for everything to get the best prices, the occupancy rates are down right now but nobody wants to budge much on the prices. I would suggest Bandolier National Monument near Los Alamos as a sight to see.

In old town, try the Sheraton. While in Albquerque, you can take the Sandia Peak Tramway to the top of the Sandia Mountains. There you can eat, or do a little hiking if you like. Since you are at the top, trails are fairly easy.(Remember, you're at about 11,000 ft so it can get a little chilly). I'd check, but sometimes the ski lift is running and you can take a little ride. The restaurant at the top is a little expensive and not all that great, so I don't suggest eating dinner there. The Fire House (think that's the name) is located at the base and is much better.
Have fun!