kathy

It is scarey to think that people like One Visitors View and x walk around freely among us..This whole time has been so terrible for so many people, some more than others, and instead of even trying to understand or to be sypathetic, or how about just having some normal manners like normal people, these characters attack,insult and do their best to add to the pain of others.It is a good thing they live in America, where people are given the right to speak freely,even if it is hurtful,envious and ignorant.

LeighAnn

I think several people have good points here. I think Ground Zero should be viewed as what it is - a graveyard. I wouldn't take pictures of it and I wouldn't buy knock-off t-shirts from peddlers on the street. On the other hand, it reminds me somewhat of Pearl Harbor. Many people want to go there and pay their respects to the dead. 9/11 was a national tragedy, just like Pearl Harbor was. Jessica, people will visit this site for years to come. I just hope people start behaving in the same manner as they would at any cemetary.

One Visitor's View

No Phil, I am not in need of either therary or medication. My point is that every two weeks someone posts a message telling everyone here how we should act at Ground Zero. I'm assuming the users of this site are smart enough and astute enough to know how to act if they visit and do not need to be told by a third party. I visited GZ in late September and like everyone else was very humbled by the devastation. I drove through the area again this past Saturday night, and though you can get closer now than before I still saw nothing that could be construed as being disrespectful, just people milling around. I don't doubt that things happen - we are all different and have different ways of expressing our feelings, and there are those who will show no respect at all. But the fact is that people are not going to stop visiting Ground Zero and no one is going to agree with everything they see all the time. But why we, people who post on fodors.com, need to be lectured twice a month is a little mystifying.

Carol

Jessica,

My family (except for myself) all lives in the NY metro area and have gone to Ground Zero numerous times. They all talk about it in terms of going to mourn. I just pray for all that an aura of respect can be maintained for all (residents, the dead, the rescue workers, etc.) and that we Americans (and others) can maintain our dignity.

I'm sorry that you've had to deal with some creepy responses to your original post.

joan

Jessica, just remember that at every funeral, there's one or two attendees who just don't know how to act respectful. I'm sure the vast majority of the visitors to Ground Zero are filled with awe (after all, that's what brought them there in the first place) -- we're all feeling our way through this -- together. My deepest sympathies to you. Hang in there.

Wondering

One -

"Mystifying"? Aren't you being melodramatic? You imply a number of times in your last post that people who post on this site are some sort of elite group and that everyone here knows how to behave appropriately AND that they actually do so. Do you really believe that?

Kathy

Being a New Yorker, I have to say I do not understand at all people's desire to go to Ground Zero.
My heart goes out to people like Jessica who live there and have to deal with things that even I as a New Yorker do not have to deal with.
I think the people on this board who say they want to pay their respects should wait until there is a memorial like the one at Pearl Harbour.
Ground Zero is a crime scene and mass grave...what could make someone want to go there and pay repects..the only people in my opinion who should do that are those that lost loved ones in those buildings.

OPV

Sure I believe it. Don't you? "Willy" excluded, everyone here seems to have a pretty good grip on things most of the time.

AnotherJessica

Hold on a minute fodorites.

There's lot of things being said that are being blown way out of proportion here.

There's a difference between paying respects at the WTC site, just to reconcile it in your mind, and taking pictures and buying merchandise like it's an event. Like many people who are "tourists" to NYC I would want to see the site, so that I can make a physical connection to all the emotions I've felt since Sept.11. To take a minute to say a prayer for all the victims.

While the site will always be a sacred place to many Americans (yes, like a graveyard or Pearl Harbor), remember that there are NYers that see it everyday, that lost loved ones, that work around there and are trying to resume their lives as normally as possible. Be gentle when around the area. It's only been three months, wounds are still fresh.

So, instead of throwing sanctimonius trash at each other, take a minute to understand how NYers are feeling and do what is right. I know when I visit next month, I'll go to the WTC site, and pay my respects. Thank you to those who live in NYC for your opinion. I think sometimes when people are so far away from what's happened, perspective can be lost.

Phil

To AnotherJessica,

Thank you for getting it.

Kathy

AnotherJessica---You are obviously not getting my point..New Yorkers do not want to go there..All of my friends and coworkers who were here that day..have no desire to go there .We grieve every day for our city's loss and to be honest I think if I went down there I would have some kind of breakdown.MY point is we cannot understand why people who don't live here want to go there..Have you smelled the smell?? That alone is reason not to go..It smells exactly like what it is..
That people are selling tshirts to the tourists is disgusting and all the tourists who go there are just giving reason for the vendors to sell their stuff.I wish people would just stop treating it like an attraction in this city...it's not and maybe becuase you weren't here that day but to us it is a reminder of the horror of that day I cannot bear a reminder like that.
ps I know some people will read this and think I am suggesting that the rest of the country did not grieve that day but that's not what I mean...those of us who were here and are still here everyday have had a unique experience that really can only be understood by those who were here on Sept. 11- New Yorkers or not.Any of you who don't understand what I am saying here..I wish I had your ignorance..in this event ignorance is bliss.

Janie

Like many of the other New Yorkers who have posted here, I too have no desire to go down to ground zero right now. Nothing can add to or diminish to my feeling of that day and the days afterwards. I do however understand that
out-of-towners, especially, feel the need to 'witness' that which may not have seemed quite real to them. I add very little to this conversation other than to repeat a hope that we all be respectful of others sensitivities. If you feel you must go downtown, do so, but please take into consideration all the "Jessica"s here, and spend a little money downtown to help the struggling local businessmen who have invested many years there, not [just] the itinerant t-shirt vendors

AnotherJessica

Kathy: In no way was I trying to disrespect what people who live in New York are going through. I never said that New Yorkers want to see the sight. What I said was that those of us who are "tourists" and want to see the WTC, and our reasonings behind that.

And when I made reference to the fact that NYers see it everyday, I was referring to people like Jessica, who live there. I consider NYC a second home.

What I was trying to do was to make some sort of a link between those of you who live there and for those of us who don't.

There is definitely a feeling of detachment that occurs from seeing something on television and being there. I cannot tell you what the air smells like. I haven't been to New York City since this time last year. And I have no idea what emotions run through people who live there, just like you have no idea what emotions go through people who don't. Like many Americans across the country, NYC holds a special place in my heart. My heart was broken on that day. I was planning on moving there before the attack and AM STILL keeping to those plans. I grieve a little everyday. The NYC I am moving to has changed. I want to go there to pay respects to the people who died and to those still working there who are dealing with death everyday.

My apologies if anything I said offended.

Melissa

I had to throw in my 2 cents because this is such a sensitive issue. I live 4,960 miles away, and by that distance, I think I am not able to fully grasp the emotion, devastation, and long-term trauma that any New Yorkers are feeling. I know that we need to be sensitive to their needs and provide as much support as possible. This is not your normal emotional/psychological trauma. New Yorkers want to get back to normal, and it's hard with thousands of tourists coming through every day, thinking that they are the ONLY ones gawking at Ground Zero. After a while, this surely must grate on New York residents, especially those who live and work in the area. Jessica was making a simple request, and I think any of you would do the same if you were in her shoes.

However, I do want to point something out to the New Yorkers on this thread. People like me who live 4,960 miles away are trying to understand your pain and trying to understand how we can best help without being intrusive. But the truth of the matter is, we DON'T understand. We don't have to put up with what you go through, on a daily basis. So please meet us halfway and understand that we are somewhat ignorant of the situation, even if our intentions are good. (I'm sure I'm not speaking for everyone, esp. the gawkers, but you can't please everyone, right?)

One Person's View

You people are starting to make me nauseous. Will you stop with the "Oh, how I feel your pain and wish I could do this and that and this and that..."

Look, it may sound cold but it's very cut and dried: Terrorists flew planes into the World Trade Center and in the process alot of people died. It is only natural that people will want to see the devastation, whether they're from Astoria, New York or Astoria, Oregon. It is the very nature of people. People are all different. There is not one correct way to act. People act in different ways. Sensitivity to one is lack of sensitivity to another. People are going to go to the site whether you like it or not, and some of them aren't going to act to your exacting standards. Some people will be downright rude. Learn to deal with it. People all over the world lost family members, people they will never see again, people they will never find. Thank God you still have an apartment to live in, unlike some of the others whose apartments have no windows and are destroyed by dust and soot. You have it easy, so get used to it and stop trying to get sympathy for yourselves. All you have to do is put up with people walking around your neighborhood, shopping in your stores, eating in your restaurants. You will get no sympathy from me. I reserve my sympathy for the families of firefighters and police, for the families of the employees of Cantor-Fitzgerald, for the child who has no father or mother, for the rescue worker who has been working 14 hour shifts every day since September 11, not for somebody claiming to be from the neighborhood who complains that people are not living up to their definition of respectful. Sorry if I sound cold, but that's just the way it goes, now, isn't it?

joan

OnePerson: You say that you reserve your sympathy for the "families of firefighters and police". You sure have a funny way of showing it... Jessica (the original poster) IS exactly that - the sister of a NYC firefighter. Don't you DARE tell her how easy she has it.