Thanks for the good wishes, stw, P_M and LoveItaly. Just wanted to let you know there's still no word. The doctor wasn't in today (or, we're guessing, yesterday). We're hoping for tomorrow!

No cell phone either. I've looked everywhere. I'm beginning to be afraid that it must've fallen out of my coat pocket. But haven't given up hope yet!

Oh Caph, guess all you got was an answering machine/voice mail or an answering service? Good grief. I think I would be camped out at the doorway to his office tomorrow morning...that is terrible!! I am so sorry, feeling stressed would not even describe me.

Now about your cell phone. Maybe you should call your carrier? If someone found your cell phone (if it in fact possibly fell out of your pocket) you do not need to receive a bill in the next month for hundreds of dollars. Please do that..I would. My hugs to you dear Caph..please post tomorrow.

Thanks for the update, CAPH, I was thinking of you all day. I'll keep an eye on the board tomorrow too. Can you feel all of the positive vibes coming your way? ((y))

I thought I'd check one more time before heading to bed...Good to hear from you Caph. I have also been thinking of you the entire day!

LoveItaly's advice is good -- call you carrier, just in case.

I always say, "No news is good news" -- I'm so sorry you have to continue waiting. I'm sending good vibes (and a great big hug) your way too! :D

Caph--I too was hoping you would have heard something. And I agree about calling your carrier about the missing phone. You don't need anymore headaches! :)

CAPH52, just a note to say that I'm thinking of you and your DH. I hope you will hear GOOD news very soon ...

CAPH---Crossing fingers, stubby toes and knotting a couple of hairs that you get the (GOOD) news tomorrow and your cell phone turns up.

BTW, stupid story: I once left mine at TJ Maxx while checking out. I called that $#@$ phone endlessly yet noone from the store answered. I finally thought to backtrack there. What a pain in the you know where.

Just read this CAPH ~ thinking of you sweetie!

[-o<

((L))

Thanks so much for all the good wishes.

The doctor finally called. Unfortunately, the news wasn't good. The p.e.t. scan wasn't normal this time (after two that were negative). And the CT scan still shows enlarged lymph nodes and an enlarged spleen.

As soon as the referrals are in place, the dr. will do a bone marrow biopsy to find out how damaged his bone marrow is and to see whether he can harvest stem cells.

The plan is to do a bone marrow transplant. But I'm not sure what the procedure is if he's not able to harvest stem cells. We'll know more about all of that next week.

I think my husband was really expecting this (although, of course, hoping for good news). I wasn't. I really thought, based on blood work, previous tests, etc. that everything was going to be okay.

I haven't been able to get ahold of our daughter. I'm so dreading having to tell her this over the phone.

I still truly believe that things work out for the best. Even when it doesn't look like it at the time. My son was reading a web site that said some doctors recommend a bone marrow transplant even if the chemo works. So this may very well save us a lot of grief down the road. Better to get it done now than to have to go back through everything six months or a year from now.

And my husband told me a week or so ago that he'd read that, with stage 4 Hodgins, even though it's 80% curable, the chemo alone only works 50 to 60% of the time. The dr. has told us from the beginning that we had two chances; the chemo and the bone marrow transplant.

So we're gonna get through this. I'll be strong for my husband and my kids.But I have to tell you, right now I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. Hard.

Sorry to ramble. And, again, thanks for all the good wishes. We need those prayers more than ever!

Oh Caph, you and your dear husband and all of your family have my prayers for sure. You are such a stong woman, I so admire you. Words cannot convey how sorry I am regarding this news. I send you so many hugs dear one. I am so sorry about the news from the doctor, words cannot express how sorry I am. I wish I was there with you..but since I am not do know I am there with you in spirit.

Oh Caph, I am so sorry!!! I will definitely keep your family in my prayers.

Caph, I don't even know what to say to you. My heart feels very heavy for you and I wish I could do something to help you.

Of course I will continue to pray for you, your DH, and children. This is a different path than which you expected to be faced with and I can feel your pain. Stay strong and keep faith that this is just a detour in your husband's recovery. I'm always here if you need to rant. My hugs to you. STW

CAPH, I'm really sorry to hear your news, and will be praying that a bone marrow transplant will work for your husband.

Lee Ann

Oh, Caph....Caph. I was so hoping for better news. It looks like this journey will continue a bit longer for you and your DH, but you have already shown us how strong you both are, and we know you'll get through this. You and your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Geez, this really does feel like a kick in the gut. :-(

CAPH sweetie, we are here for you. And LoveItaly is right, your courage is to be admired. I think you have the right attitude, hang on to that.

Prayers, hugs and strength all for you and your family.

((L)) Tiff

CAPH, I am so sorry. Do know that you have so many people saying prayers for you to have strength, for your husband to have the best outcome and your family to find goodness and togetherness during these hard times. God bless you all.

Caph...God bless you and yours, my dear. You are just such a remarkable person. I just told my DH last night I didn't think I could be as strong as you. How blessed you are to have such a community of friends her online.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
i'2((r))

Wouldn't you know I can't spell...her should be......here.

CAPH52, I'm so sorry that the news is not what you and your husband had hoped for. I will continue to pray for your husband in this battle, and please know that you have many friends on this Board who are sending good thoughts and vibrations your way! God bless you both ...

Oh, oh CAPH...I'm so sorry sweetie! Even though we've never met, I feel as we have and I'm here to listen...and if you have time, I'd like to tell you some things that may help give you faith.

Bone Marrow transplants are terrifying but the 3 people I know who have had them all said it turned out to be the BEST worst thing they ever went through--and they have all beat the odds! One former student of mine went through it after his second bout with Hodgins--must be 4 yrs ago now. Another former student went through it just last year. She's back to school looking and feeling fantastic.

My mom's cousin had one of the blood cancers back in the late 80s or early 90s. I remember being told she might not make it and was flying to Texas for treatment (blood marrow transplant at MD Anderson)...Shelby's still here and loving on her grandkids.

And one more story of hope that is going on right now though it doesn't involve bone marrow transplants. About four years ago my close friend's dad, a man in his 70s, was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia and things looked impossibly bleak. He defied the odds and got better with treatment. Two years ago in June, Mr. S's cancer came back and doctors sent him home with hospice. By the end of the summer, he started getting an appetite and perking up a bit so his wife wanted him to see the doctor and get checked out. Usually hospice patients don't go through testing but this incredible man did...Anyway, doctor's couldn't explain it but his counts came back good. He slowly recovered his strength and eventually resumed his normal life, traveling and puttering and LIVING! OWJ2 and I have an amazing birdhouse he built for us within the last 6mo.

Have faith. Rely on your family and friends, including us faceless fodorites!!

Oh and one more thing: there is a great, free website at caringbridge.org that could help you keep your loved ones informed. It allows you to write journals/updates and people can leave messages too.