I was surprised when I called a B&B in Newport, RI to ask if my young children could stay there - I expected a no. There policy is generally, no, but the owner told me if they are well behaved and don't scream a lot it would be fine. I was flattered by his exception, and we stayed there. My children did behave well, and it was a nice stay, but looking back, I wouldn't stay at a B&B again with a 5 mo. old and 3 yr. old. Though they were good, the other guests probably expected a child-free environment, and may have been a little turned off, though it wasn't evident.

No offense taken by me if someone wants a child-free environment. In addition to the aforementioned ideas, I've also seen some vacation ranches? (can't think of the appropriate term) that reserve certain months in the spring or fall where no children are allowed.

On the other hand, you could just hang-out at bars and horse races.

I wouldn't have been quite so offended if the reservations agent was polite or even remotely more reasonable in the way in which her perception of my children's behavior was presented. (They were stereotyped). After all, I am a paying guest and should be treated as though my business is appreciated. I felt that the hotel had some other purpose as children were so violently discouraged. The reference to taking one's secretaries is factual- are we not facing the fact that regardless of our morality, some people (same sex or otherwise) book hotels for whatever their purpose? If this was the perdominant attitude, I think I did the right thing booking a nicer place where the business was appreciated. Again, I think Sonoma would be a good place for childfree vacationing.....That was the question, wasn't it?

If you don't like having children's behavior stereotyped, why do you think it's OK to stereotype secretaries as some executive's bit on the side rather than professionals doing a job in an office?

Thank you, Martha. Contrary to popular belief, the majority of secretaries (executive and otherwise) do not sleep with their bosses, chase them around the desk, wear tight clothing, or get drunk at the office Christmas party. Many are actually running the nation's businesses, for not much money.

Cherie,
In the original post above you state the hotel said they would accept your children if they were quiet and didn't run the hallways. Now you they "violently discouraged" your children from staying at their hotel? Are you sure "violently" is the word to be used?

Anyway, it seems as though this has just not set well with you. That's OK. But why not contact the hotel management and lodge a formal complaint? A lot of times people feel like they've been wronged but walk away frustrated. Write, or call, the hotel management and/or owners and state how you felt and why. You may just end up with an apology. All it costs is the price of a postage stamp.

Hope it works out!

Michele

OK..one last time. I didn't say that all bosses take their secretaries to this hotel for other than business. I just think I stumbled upon a hotel that catered to non-families and wasn't able to say so for fear of discrimination, or something. I don't have an attitude other than for amusement here, and hope that no one goes away with the idea that all secretries party it up ALTHOUGH WE AREN'T NIEVE ENOUGH TO ASSUME THAT THAT DOESN'T GO ON AT ALL.
I still think the best way to keep rude reservations people in check is to buy their hotel and hire better staff. Some of us can do this. Think in larger perspective. Politeness is what all bosses want in employees; this rude person cost the hotel revenues.

Cherie:

1)MANY hotels "cater to non-families" without actually having a policy as such. Do you think management at the Bel-Air in Beverly Hills or the Four Seasons in New York want kids running around their properties? Of course they don't prohibit kids. But if there were a LOT of kids at these properties they WOULD lose business. Count on it.
2)What people do in their hotel rooms, assuming they make no noise and aren't doing anything illegal, is their business. If you talk with anyone who's been in the hotel business a while, you'll learn that 'illicit rendezvous' are a staple of business. But if YOU, as a paying guest don't know it, and thus aren't affected, what's the difference? I'm glad you're not naive about these goings on, whether it's bosses/secretaries or co-workers. (But you almost had me fooled).
3)Rude staff in any service-oriented business will drive away business. Recognize, however, that unemployment is at a 30 year low. Businesses (hotels among them) are having a very hard time attracting and holding onto well mannered, mature phone and desk attendants. I see it everywhere I travel. I've had some remarkably poor/inappropriate service during the past 2-3 years at hotels/resorts I was paying more than $400 a night at and in restaurants where per patron tips run more than $25. I almost never encountered these circumstances 10 years ago. Too, I think our society is becoming more rude in general. A sad fact.
4)If you don't get good service or if you experience legitimate problems with any business, either let the management know or keep it to yourself. You owe it to the hotel to have the opportunity either 'make it right' or condone the por service. Then you see what they're really about. It's not appropriate in my book to simply go about sniping them indefinitely when in all likelihood, the hotel management has no idea what took place to begin with. If nothing else, save future unsuspecting travellers the frustrations you had to deal with.

Thanks for the above book suggestion for childfree travel...I will definately buy it online if I can find it. We travel off season (dread the summer)and stay in B&Bs most of whom don't take small children. However that doesn't stop being forced to listen at breakfast tables about small children and their illnesses etc. The worst was the breakfast were there was only one table and the other 3 women started talking in great detail to everyone about their labor and childbirth horrors as one was preggers at the time they all met. I skipped breakfast and drank my coffee outside.

Well I see that the overbearing, self righteous parents are alive and well. They continue to harrass us with their rudeness and crass.

It seems like so many of the parents today think that it is their god given right to disrupt everybody else with their misbehaved little darlings. They also believe that they invented parenthood. Well I have 5 grown chidren that are all very productive and wonderful people. We are very close to our chidren. Even though they were well behaved, we never would take them to places that were not oriented towards children. We did something that many parents today have not heard of. We actually sacrificed our desires for our kids sake and never dreamt of imposing on others.

Now that our children are grown, we enjoy places that are not overrun with yelling screaming kids. These are very hard to find. The problem is not the kids. It is the selfish parents that have no consideration for others.