Moses

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not steal. When you pass on to the afterlife you will be condemned to eternity in a Motel 6 room that has been stripped of soap, shampoo, towels, bed linens, lamps, mouthwash, hand lotion, pillows, clothes hangers, mattresses, drapes, the television . . .

xxx

You gotta' love this site! I not only learned I'm not the only one who _collects_ the toiletries, but I've learned a few new places to dispose of the ones that have been sitting on the shelf for awhile. Not sure I want to try the sheets, towels or robes. LOL

Ron

No. You are the only one!

part one

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,
S. Berman
```
Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily.
I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid
````````

Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.

Please remove them.

S. Berman
`````````
Dear Mr. Berman,

My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.

Your regular maid,
Dotty
``````
Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

```````
Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 745 AM and don't get back before 530 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman
```````
Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you,

Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
`````````
Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman

part 2

``````
Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my pologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager
`````
Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman
``````
Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
``````
Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:


On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

Char

"S. Berman" (Shelley?) -- VERY funny. Where was this originally published, or did you actually think this up for this humble forum?

Me

S. Berman, what a delightful story! The irony is that in today's world there is so little face-to-face communication that the Soap Tale could actually happen. Better run, got to check my Email, voicemail, send a few memos, leave some messges, etc.

Clan of Scotland

I too just cannot contemplate - on leaving a hotel - not helping myself to all those little soaps, bottles of shampoo, sewing kits, shoe cleaners and even the shower cap (even though I never use it). In the UK you also get packets of bikkies, sugar, coffee and tea in you room. Stuffing them in my bag (in the hope that they'll restock the day after) is practically the first thing I do.
I won't kid you it all adds up and I have saved a few bob in my time!

elizabeth

I believe "S. Berman" is from Shelley Berman's very funny book "A Hotel is A Place.....". (must be 30 years old now). My favourite line from it is "A hotel is a place that charges you $250 a night....and calls you a guest"

drew

I find these items always very helpful. The soap bars are great to keep in suitcases when you put them away to keep out the damp smell. The shampoos and bath gels, I always carry in my suitcases because I always seemed to forget to bring regular shampoo. The coffee bags are great at home in emergency situations when I run out. The shoe cloths are good for polishing glasses.

angel

I take them, but usually just the ones I really want. (Sorry, Dial, no-can-do.) I also give away extras when there are food/toiletry drives in our city. My favorite was from the Madonna Inn -- Neutrogena! Now I can refill Rainbath from my gigantic jug at home.

erm

Yes definately I take the soaps and shampoos,moisturiser, but best of all I like the pens and notepads, great to have next to the phone. Really hotels/motels need to start doing small bottles of shower gel this would come in really handy.

lola

Shower caps (esp. doubled) are great for wrapping shoes, dirty clothes, wet things--I keep them in my suitcase.

Karen

Yep, I take them. I take and use the lotions and mouthwash at work; the shampoos for overnight trips; when I have enough shampoos, I take them on longer trips and toss one each day...thinking I'll have less to bring home (ha). The soaps I only take if the label has the hotel name from a special place. In China, the soaps were in plastic cases (still small size), so I couldn't resist those!

Roben

Take them and leave them in my bag, is what I do...then upon the next trip I will leave them and a few other goodies for the maid that cleans the room, i.e...snacks that haven't been opened, books that have been read..etc
I believe in supporting those who provide for me. : - }

Lori

I just got back from a trip and this post is making me so envious!

I'll take this opportunity to nominate the following hotel as having the WORST toiletries of any hotel I've ever stayed at in my lifetime:
The Days Inn in Escanaba, Michigan.
They provided the following toiletries:

1 tiny bath bar
1 tinier facial soap
1 .25 ounce packet (not even a reclosable bottle!) of shampoo

Woe is me! I paid $97 for that room!

Ginger

During Desert Storm the area churches asked for donations of soaps, lotions, toiletries, etc. so I gave a big bag of the stuff to them. I also give extras to shelters and keep some for camping trips and short vacations.

sssssss

Ok, now I'm truly curious....do people REALLY take those luxurious bath-robes? Am I missing something? I thought those were for our enjoyment while staying THERE.

yowser

"sssssss", That's right, they are for your enjoyment while there. In fact, if you take one from our hotel, your credit card will be charged $50. There's quite a difference between soaps, shampoo, shoeshine kits and robes, bedspreads, lamps etc!

mustangs81

Thanks for noticing the sign cMcDaniel. I hope it was effective.

You are certainly the expert on this thread. Hope you are doing well.