P_M

Last week I went to the Fodor's GTG in San Antonio and this subject came up. It seems that quite a few of us have loved ones who think that everyone you meet on the internet must be an axe murderer or a pedophile. I have now been to 4 Fodor's GTG's and every time I go, my husband gets concerened and wants me to call him as soon as I get there. Strangely, he's not concerened enough to come along....hmmm....Anyway, can anyone else relate to this? My question applies not only to Fodors, but any other web site where people can get to know each other.

Budman

When I organized my first NJ/NY GTG last October, my wife thought I was crazy -- She enjoyed every moment. Every one of the GTG's we've been at has been loads of fun -- meeting very nice people not to mention drinking lots of wine and eating wonderful food.

Statia

I have yet to meet anyone from Fodors in person, but I've certainly made some close friends with some posters here and on other message boards.

I have had people come to stay in my home whom I have met on other websites. My family thought I was nuts at first, but now they see some of the wonderful and lasting friendships I've made over the net.

I think you just get a certain feel for people and know who is and is not safe, but you do have to be careful in this day and age. It's so nice that the whole world is opened up to us with the internet and it only furthers the possibitlies of friendships.

FainaAgain

My husband was not concerned - he's used to me meeting Internet people. My adult children worried and thought it was strange, now they're used to it.

I think most of the people would think it's crazy or dangerous until they get involved in some internet-to-real-life activities.

Still I would use caution and won't invite somebody I've never seen to my house for the first meeting. Always feel safe in public places. So far, all Fodorites I've met are great people, but can't say the same about other internet "communities".

seetheworld

I spend a lot of time in my home office, and every time my sons come to see me, usually asking for food, they ask, "Fodoring, again?" And every now and again, my husband will ask me to check something out on Fodors. So they know I spend time on this board.

Fodors is the only Internet community I visit. I met my husband the old fashion way, but I know many others who have met and dated people online. I also know one couple whose marriage was ruined by an online (then off-line) affair.

Because of family commitments, I haven't been able to go to the last two NY/NJ GTG's - but I wanted to. When I mentioned this to my husband, (about going) he thought it was a crazy idea. I have some time to convince him between now and October!

I will say, that if my sons told me they were going to meet with some people from the Internet, I would freak out. There's a lot of other craziness that falls somewhere between "axe murderer" and "pedophile". Going to a public place is the safest thing to do.

There are a lot of people here who I would love to meet, but there are also others I would be afraid to meet

P_M, come to NY -- I would love to meet you!!

cigalechanta

I've met many from here and two other forums. Everyone who does come are nice. The baddies stay away. If anyone in my life thinks it's weird, they haven't said it.

dcespedes

A good friend of mine met his wife on the internet. They are two peas in a pod and have been married over 5 years so they were a good example to me that there is life beyond the on-line axe murderer. ;-) For the most part, friends seem to express their feelings the same way when I explain to them how I met so & so--a pained, winced look that fades to a frown, lol. My DH has been far more understanding.

KE1TH

A similar site to this spurred my first trip abroad. I had been talking to a couple in England (Pete and Mo)and they invited me over to visit and so I went out and got a passport and bought airplane tickets and took off (well, it took a couple of months for it all to happen). I've since travelled to many other areas of the world, but it was that initial contact with Pete and Mo in England that started it all.

Pete and Mo live in Reading, so I booked a motel in that area and took the train into London several days, but used Reading to visit western England like the Cotswolds, Stonehenge, Bath, Winchester etc. I spent a lovely afternoon with Pete and Mo and still keep in touch with them (as a matter of fact, met up with them again last year when I was in England for the second time).

I've also met up with Ben in Australia (met on the same travel forum) and had a breakfast meeting with him on Darling Harbor before he had to get to work in downtown Sydney.

None of my immediate family batted an eye..... but I've always been seen as the adventurous one.

Keith

seetheworld

I also wanted to say, that I am a very cautious person, so I would never be the one to go to the "first annual...GTG". But I feel more inclined to go to a GTG after having seen pictures of other Fodorites and knowing that everyone survived

chepar

I've only been to one Fodor's GTG so far, but I've met many people on another internet forum (sport related).

My family used to think it was strange, but have gotten used to it.

P_M

Thanks for the replies so far. I must confess that a few years ago I expressed concern when a single friend of mine started visiting the internet dating sites. But then she explained that they get to know each other first via e-mail, then the first and second dates would always involve meeting in a public place, so that made me feel a lot better.

seetheworld, I would SO love to come NY to meet you and everyone else, but as you know from the FFR&R's, I'm not able to travel right now due to my changing job situation. But who knows, if things go my way in the next several weeks, I might be able to make the trip to NY. [-o< If not this year, I will get to NY again someday.

I think that over time, more and more people will find themselves meeting new friends on the web, and opinions will change. I agree that it's still best to use caution, that's why public venues are the best place for that first-time encounter.

sunny16

I've been active online since the early 90's, so meeting people in person from online isn't new to me. I've dated people, found jobs, etc. from online connections. I'm very active on a NYC-based email list/networking group that meets in person regularly. I'm also active on a camera email list that does regional GTGs pretty regularly. DH thought the camera GTGs were a little odd at first, but he's a photographer as well and he's gotten to know the people, so now he looks forward to them. DH is no stranger to the internet himself, but he tends to be a bit more cautions than I am. We very much enjoyed the last NY/NJ GTG!

Anonymous

Most of my family thinks I'm crazy, but these GTGs are really safe -- what could hppen in a public restaurant with a group, for goodness' sake. In fact, I'm pretty sure that nobody at these GTGs even knows my real name.

Still, my teenage son warned me, "If you come home without a kidney, don't say we didn't warn you."

seetheworld

"If you come home without a kidney, don't say we didn't warn you."

ROTFLOL, anonymous!

P_M

Now that you mention it, I do have a big scar on my back since that GTG last week. decespedes, did you steal my kidney?? Or do you think it was that guy stalking you....

Fodorite018

I have not been to a Fodors GTG yet, but I plan to for a Portland one soon! Recently, dh answered the phone and told me it was one of my "axe murderer friends", lol! Yes, it was a Fodors friend He and the kids love to tease me, but I have made some wonderful online friends that have evolved into real life friendships. One lady I have run several marathons with, and we have had several come stay with us. I have also traveled to visit a large group.

I think Statia is right that you can definitely get a feel for someone whether they are normal or just too freaky to meet in real life. Of course the freaky ones I would love to see...at a good distance!

Statia

I have to say that I agree with Faina. I always meet someone in public before having them as a house guest.

dcespedes

Steal a kidney? Me?!? Did I mention my e-bay store has really taken off this week ;-) Rest assured my stalker is safe and well parked three doors down across the street...

JJ5

No, I met my guy on the internet. And we have been best friends and partners for 7 years now.

We lived 2 miles apart and met that way-it really is a small world. We both had a gauge on the page and when it came up O distance away, we were both flummouxed.

He has a good buddy from Germany now because of selling parts and other various vintage appendages to classic GM and Ford automobiles. It was also just an Internet connect, and he has come to visit.

But I have had "the warning" not kidney, but similar, from various directions.

P_M

Geez, now I have to go on ebay to buy back my own kidney. I hate it when this happens....