Re the comment that neighborhood associations are Stalinist. What an extreme view of things. I could have picked any term to define our community group, which is a loose group of neighbors and, did I mention, wonderful friends?

I am aware that in the mainland, certain developers set up strict rules, etc. But that's what you buy into.

Actually, I'm not sure that career-driven individuals are not friendly. My neighborhood is full of workaholics (I live near downtown and near many hospitals), among other professions & retirees. But maybe this area is different...or maybe after a long gruelling day at work, we crave the comfort of seeing friendly neighbors at home. Oh, we grumble about work, of course, but there is other chitchat.

ttt:good thread - wish people had named their town!

Have you noticed that the people with children are closer to their neighbors? The kids are out playing (sometimes), in school, church, soccer, etc. with others from the neighborhood, while the singles, dinks, seniors just go about with their lives.

Interesting.

nina, What do all you and your neigbors do with your kids while you're out their on your canoes, house hopping etc.?? Sounds like lots of your activities revolve around booze!

I live in Southern California (Orange County) in a smaller community and know almost all of my neighbors quite well. With this said, the primary reason I know them is through our 4 children (age 4-11)playing with the local kids up and down the street. We too enjoy block parties a couple of times a year. Older neighborhoods where the kids are grown and gone may be a completely differenty story...?? Midge

Now that we've moved to Southern California we have met many more of our neighbors due to better climate, people are outside year around more in their front yards etc, Like the previous poster, much of this stems around children playing together in the neighborhood. When we lived on the East Coast we were childless and knew no one because I worked away from the home all day. Children and pets are a great way to meet your neighbors. Sarah

No, they're snobs

TOPPERS

I don't think I want to have kids just so I can meet my neighbors!

We live in a rural community about 65 miles west of Washington D.C.and are lucky to have great neighbors.Socially we see only a few families on rare occasions, but they all are kind, considerate and supportive people. We are here for each other, caring and helpful.

We live in Southern CA. and don't socialize much with neighbors, although we do talk to a couple of them and have invited them for dinner, etc. However, we do know a lot of people in our town and socialize with many people in the area. We have met most of them from joining organizations and being active in the community and schools (even tho we don't have any children). I think you get back what you give. If you are neighborly and active and helpful people are the same way back. We have also met lots of people who have similar interests to us by joining organizations that mean a lot to us.

Becky,

Yes, Darien is a little much. My husband wouldn't even look at houses there, he grew up in Fairfield County and knows the atmosphere well. We're in Weston and it's a little more down to earth but unfortunetaly changing as housing prices keep going sky high!

Sheila, What do we do with our kids? What most people who go out to dinner or to parties do with them - hire babysitters, or is that a foreign concept to you? And yes, alcohol is served at all of our parties and wine tastings. We even purchased a community margarita machine. So what.

great topic! i just logged on and dont have the time to read the 90+ responses but do have to say that my little neighborhood in Riverside CT is very social, even for those without kids. there is a yearly block party (the kids put on a talent show) real old fashioned americana, i have had many afternoons chatting with some iced tea from several neighbors and those (like us) without kids band together for the late night backyard parties. its a really great place!

In our old neighborhood, there were some teenagers in the group of friends/neighbors that we had.They watched over the smaller children when it got late and the adults were still visiting.
However, that is one of the nice things about neighbors getting together, you are still basically at home so your kids are part of the visiting,and usually will be able to fall asleep at whichever house you are visiting.
Sheila,these aren't drunken orgies, they are neighbors getting together!

How true Jill! When we just "stop over" or throw an impromptu barbecue or pool party the kids come along with us and they all hang out together and fall asleep in whomever's family room until we carry them home. Maybe Sheila is part of some fundamentalist group that frowns on alcohol. Hey, at least we aren't driving, we can walk home or at times, one neighbor will chauffeur everyone home in a cart pulled by his John Deere!

Speaking from experience, the friendlier you are with your neighbors, the nosier they tend to be...but maybe all small towns are like that. There are advantages to knowing everyone, but what I wouldn't give for my old, anonymous "big city life."

My best girlfriend is my neighbor. We know most of our neighbors and pull the BBQ out to the front sometimes and have a neighbor cook-out. One time we sat the dining table in the middle of the front yard w/ candles and all for dinner. Loads of fun. Our East Dallas neighborhood was built in the early 20's with big front porches. It certainly encourages people to be outside and visible.

I live in a large town about 15 miles from dowtown Boston and we socialize with our neighbors. We're lucky to live on a street with a lot of little kids, so that helps.

My neighborhood is very active with summer cookouts, an annual block party, Halloween events, etc.

As a migrant to the Boston area, I can say that it is not a regional thing. I expected southern hospitality in my old neighborhood in Atlanta, but it was full of anti-social yuppies.

I grew up in midwestern suburbia, in a neighborhood where neighbors would pop by unannounced for visits whenever they felt like it and vice versa. Call me Scrooge, but to be honest, I always hated that. You'd be in the middle of a good book or a board game or a movie and all of a sudden you'd have to make conversation with the neighbors. My parents loved that openness but I always wished that people would have called first. A sense of community is important, and it's nice to be there for your neighbors in times of need and vice versa, but I also believe in respecting the privacy of others and not intruding on the little bit of leisure time that each of us has. Now that I'm an adult, I've deliberately sought out an urban community that I love but that also lets me be anonymous when I want to.

Maybe part of this also has to do with how people relax and whether you are an "I" (introvert) or an "E" (extrovert) on the Myers-Briggs test. Some people recharge their batteries by socializing; others find socializing draining. I happen to fall into the latter camp (I'm an "I"). I'm friendly to my neighbors, but that doesn't mean I want to hang out with them in my "spare time." When I come home from work at night after a 12-hour day, I like to put my feet up, drink a beer, have dinner, and read the paper. On weekends I'm lucky if I can just get my place clean, get laundry and grocery shopping done, get some exercise, pick up & drop off the dry cleaning, water the plants, catch up on some sleep, and maybe have dinner & a movie with a friend (honestly, I don't know how families with kids manage). I already feel like there aren't enough hours in the day for me to catch up with friends and family as it is, so if I have time to hang out & chat I'd rather do it with them than with the neighbors -- or go to a museum or hiking or a movie...