Do you socialize with your neighbors

Old Jun 13th, 2002, 11:36 AM
  #21  
Stephanie P.
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Are you jealous that I have neighbors that I associate with and am friendly towards? With your grade school mentality, I would see why someone would not want to talk with you.
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 11:37 AM
  #22  
scarlett
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Bunco sounds like it might have possibilities Most things are more fun with drinks,no?
Thanks x!
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 11:46 AM
  #23  
marie
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We live in a neighborhood of homes mostly build in the late 1800's. Nearly all of our homes have front porches. Most also have back porches. The unwritten rule seems to be if one is sitting on their front porch company is very welcome to "come sit a spell". Back porches are more for privacy.

We are a neighborhood of varied backgrounds, education, travel style, ages, and life experiences, -- who cares when a warm smile greets you in passing.
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 11:54 AM
  #24  
The Devil Made Me
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Yes, Stephanie. I am jealous of you. You hit the nail on the head. You got me. Oh, boy! Did you see right through me, or what?
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 12:07 PM
  #25  
Eric
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Considering this is a travel board, it would be great if future people who respond tell us the size of the their city and what State they live in.

I am starting to think that people in CT do not like their neighbors.
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 12:21 PM
  #26  
Jeanette
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Don't lump all cities together. I've lived in three different Chicago neighborhoods and have long ties that bind. Not only weddings and funerals either. In my original Ashburn (18th ward) neighborhood we were very diverse and yet did much more than just wave on occasion. We were neighbors, and as such we especially NOTICE if something is different or wrong.

I have lived in my present town for 3 years, yet the block was new and not filled until this spring. A couple of weeks ago I dropped an envelope into each mailbox, sight unseen, for the most part. Everyone is very very busy- but we had 11 families or singles show out of 17, and we are all ages. Now I notice that people are starting to carry chairs etc. to the park at the end of the lane each evening. One night last week a neighbor was visibly harried putting up a mailbox. Some block chair sitters showed up with tools and put it all together in about 5 minutes. He was east coast and had been a no show. I think he would have rather paid for the service and did buy everyone expensive pastries to "make up" for the chore-the next day.

TV, computer and video type games lead to a second hand existence. My perception was not always like it is today. I was a downtown, ride the bus, and don't speak for hours at a time person also. You don't have to gossip or be in each others pockets to spend a night a month playing bunco. And you don't have to be with cheaters/drinkers or with people who have 100% in common with you either. You can learn so much from "differences" if you just take a couple of moments to listen. Like how to make real tortillas. My older children "adopted" another set of grandparents in the one neighborhood I lived in for 22 years. They and I still see them, or talk by phone. (I've been in Book clubs, bunco, bowling, golf, and tons of kids' sports groups etc. with neighbors in every location.) It left me little time for tv and even less time for worry or brooding.

Yes, sometimes you don't want to interface with even a gesture or smile on the elevator. But don't be so eager to isolate your life away. You probably won't know until you are older that all your best assets are not in the bank, but are in the learned associations and human relationships that bring joy. If the ones you love are not close, love the ones you're with. Humans are social animals and need time for friendly contact. Americans are paying the price with depression, addictive behaviors, and impaired troubled children because of their family isolation styles.
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 12:27 PM
  #27  
r-travels
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Questions about neighborhoods and neighborliness:

Are there sidewalks on your street? Do kids walk to school? Do kids and adults walk to the store, diner, etc.? Have you a front porch?

Seems I read that walking had a lot to do with how social a neigborhood is, and that porches contributed to the overall friendliness of the area too.
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 12:32 PM
  #28  
RnR
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Well, I kinda internet with a friend, but if I had a back fence, we'd hang over it and socialize. I'd babysit their dog, and she'd check on our cats.
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 12:40 PM
  #29  
Monica
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I live in San Jose, heart of Silicon Valley, in an older neighborhood called Naglee Park. We have a neighborhood email list where you can ask questions like "where is a good shoe repair" and complain about local politics. There is a separate parents list where babysitting co-ops are formed as well as playgroups. I get together with a group of moms who have kids my daughter's age once a week--we expect them to grow up together, so we might as well get them started socializing now! A few of the people in playgroup I really like, enough to consider them true friends (which are hard to find these days). When I walk my dog I say hi to everyone, and I know my immediate neighbors by name and the ones four houses out by sight. So I don't think it's a small town or computer thing--just a neighborhood character thing. Oh, and about bunco it is a great game! I play with my friends (not neighbors) and we gossip and drink sufficient alcohol so as to have a good time but not so much that we're heading out to bars later.
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 12:46 PM
  #30  
Marge
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I really admire those that can have a great relationship with their neighbors. I live in a newer development of only 4 homes on our cul-de-sac in Montgomery County, MD. We still are only 'hi and bye' neighbors without any real relationship. We all just moved here less than 2 years ago since the builder just specializes in small number of homes. The only thing we;'ve really done is get each other's mail when we're away. HOw do you start one of these neighborhood things? like the email or social groups?
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 12:49 PM
  #31  
x
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Several years ago I won a "Backyard BBQ" complete with grill & meat. I used it for a neighborhood get-together.
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 01:07 PM
  #32  
NYGirl
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Our neighbors were hardly ever friendly until I got my dog.Now everyone says hello and wants to pet the dog.
Not sure how I feel about that
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 01:13 PM
  #33  
CocoChanel
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NYGirl: As long as they don't want to pet your monkey, you'll be O.K.
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 01:15 PM
  #34  
Buddy
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In western PA I find some neighbors are ok with being friendly and others (mostly yuppies and newly moved in people) are not. This is sad since I grew up in a neighborhood where kids ran free (causing little or no problems) and I was never afraid of any of my neighbors. The adults looked out for the kids also. Now I am lucky to see some kids since all they do is stay inside, watch tv or play playstation and get fat. I have a great relationship with my neighbors to one side and a so-so with he neighbors to my other side...but that has been their choice. I think everyone should know their neighbors because in times of need or natural disaster they may be your only friends!
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 01:15 PM
  #35  
Melissa
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Maybe it is just your particular neighborhood. I have lived in 4 neighborhoods in the same city. In the neighborhood I grew up in, everyone knew each other and ... well, we still do. We watched out for each other and would bring food over for each other and everything.

In my 2nd and 3rd neighborhoods, the people were polite (I guess) but not as friendly or open. I guess in a crisis, we would be able to run to each other, but I'm not sure.

My current neighborhood is a mixed bag of professions & backgrounds, but everyone is so nice. And when we go on vacation we often leave our keys with our neighbors so they can come to our homes to water the plants, check our mail, etc. That's the level of trust we have with each other.

But this is all in the same city, yet the kind of people in each neighborhood has been so different!
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 01:17 PM
  #36  
Ted Kaczynski
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Don't like neighbors much. Never did.
Ted
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 01:30 PM
  #37  
ilisa
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We live in MD outside of Washington. We don't really socialize with our neighbors except for the ones on one side of us. They are the best neighbors anyone can ask for. For example, when I had my son, the woman took the day off to watch our daughter (who was born an hour and a half before her daughter). I will truly miss them when we move. Except for them, I would be hard pressed to tell you the names of the other people in the neighborhood.
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 02:05 PM
  #38  
Neighbor
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I see a trend. Neighbors that are career type yuppies are less interested in being friendly and people who are in the Washington suburbs are also less friendly. Am I wrong?
 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 02:16 PM
  #39  
Jeanette
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Marge, since you asked- I'll just tell you what I have done. It is easiest to do the first get together in warm weather, but I did hear of a block Christmas passing punch bowl sing that worked too. You can start small or go larger if you have more strength in experiencing rejection. YOU CAN NOT TAKE REJECTION PERSONALLY.

Plan a get together. Make it short and sweet and open. Mine was just for the women this first time, as we had fewer houses than would warrant a block party and yet there were women in every one. I made it a seasoning tidbit party. I made the invitations at a time in the evening. I told them to come hungry for a get-to know-your-neighbor gathering and that they did not need to bring anything. I put down my phone #. The last line read: RSVP-or come down at the last minute if you are not busy and have had no time to reply. THIS was risky as I might have had no one or 20. I have a big family and lots of people at work. I could have given the tid-bits etc. away. You have to take some risks. The shock was that I had 4 voice-mails in the week before, asking if they could bring something. I am busy and didn't even get to answer these and yet they came.

You will find that some never come or reply. I have one "right-next" door neighbor who never, ever walks out of the house. (Drives out and in only.) But she introduced herself to me when I moved in by saying. "Don't worry about me planting any trees, as you will never see me outside or planting anything." Never have since then. Send the invites to these kind also. After some months or years, you can start a bunco club or whatever. Most people I have seen who really started much life-long socializing etc., have formed bonds as their children played sports or became good friends with each other. BUT NOT ALWAYS.

After this first get together party, people DID start to stop and say hello. By the way, we have sidewalks but almost all the porches are in the back. Our lives are car bound. We walk only to the park nearby. There are no stores within any walking distances in my new neighborhood. In my middle city neighborhood we sat on front stoops and in gangways. There is always somewhere that friends can respect and look out for each other by talking for a minute or an hour without explanation. Of course there are some prices to pay, as I love privacy at times like everyone else. That's what walled gardens or small back yard areas can be for. The younger couples have taken the ball now in my neighborhood and are running with it, so to speak. They have started a huge garage sale for next month and are car pooling to the Catholic school etc. But we are also quite diverse and I am learning some Middle Eastern dishes now too. Also have a older bachelor down the street getting some decent hot food coming his way.

 
Old Jun 13th, 2002, 02:32 PM
  #40  
Monica
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Marge: I'm not sure how the email list in my neighborhood got started, that was before my time (the person who sold me the house told us about it). I know what I would do to start one, though. Go to Yahoo Groups and set up a group. Then print flyers and leave them in everyone's mailbox about how to subscribe to the list. Mention the list to everyone you see around. Once it hits critical mass (like 20 or so people on it) it becomes so useful for contractor recommendations, restaurant recommendations, answers to stupid house questions, etc., that you'll wonder how you did without it. And to Neighbor, my neighborhood is almost 100% "career-type yuppies" (hey, it's the Silicon Valley!) and we're still friendly.
 

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