Qwerty

Last night, we had dinner with a wealthy relative who split the bill, told us our shares, took our cash and put it all on his credit card. The total bill was $140. and he left a $10. tip. There was nothing wrong with the service and, in fact, his wife made the server do a little extra backing-and-forthing along the way.

I wish I'd found a reason to go back and leave another $10, at least, but I'm wondering what people do in this sort of circumstance.

reply

I leave a larger tip to cover the stingy person. It magnifies the person's pettiness, and they usually get the message .

cottontail

Here's what you say when you leave "Oh, I need to make a quick trip to the bathroom, be right back" Then slip the waiter some extra cash, give him a wink and he'll know that not everyone in the party is an idiot! Especially if this is a place you go to on a regular basis.

Geoff

Did you actually review the bill, or just add it up based on what he told everyone their share was? If you didn't look at the bill carefully, with a large group their may have been a tip included on the bill and the $10 was additional.

I sometimes end up as the 'splitter' on business lunches. I always avoid this issue by asking everyone to agree on the tip before I split it. That way if you felt like giving a bigger tip, you would say so to begin with. And even if not, if you knew ahead of time he was going to be stingy with the tip, offer to leave the tip in cash yourself. If it really won't work out, be the first to grab the bill and take over the splitting yourself. If it's too late and you can't manage that, leave more of a tip yourself.

MY 2 CENTS

Plus I would have told the wealthy relative I only had a credit card and would NOT give him my cash, I bet he did not have any cash himself. I hope you looked at the bill, you probably paid for his dinner as well!! I would have paid the server as described above with a big thank you if the service was great and extra $ was deserved.

ez

When in this situation, I usually insist on having the server split the bill on to two credit cards (which they will always do). That way, you can write-in whatever tip suits your fancy for your half of the dinner.

tk

I've done it all, left a tip on the table or palmed the waiter. But the best thing really is to have them separate the bill on each credit card. It is a simple way of not interupting a great dinner to figure....I have also asked the server to simply add %20 to the bill for me. That way conversation and the evening is never interupted. All I need do is take a quick look and sign. Back to the question, I have always found to confront a cheap person is fruitless. They will merely get defensive and nothing will change

gail

This happens with relatives we must dine with on regular basis - when they pick up check (we roughly alternate), they make a big play of taking check and refusing any money from us. Then they stiff the server.

We always leave extra cash on the table - we can only estimate. They go to the same restaurants over and over - I hate to imagine the retaliation possible.

Cheapness has nothing to do with level of wealth.

Marty

If it's any consolation, my daughter has worked her way through college and graduate school as a waitress and bartender in high-end or fine-dining restaurants, and she says that most professional waitpersons are used to the "stingy tipper" and that another table will usually make up for the small tip by over-tipping or tipping appropriately. If the tip is because of poor service, the wait person needs to know. Otherwise, she lets it go.

friends

Ok Ross, next time you are out with Rachel's father be careful how you slip the waiter money because you may insult your host and end up buying your own damn dinner.

XXXX

Why didn't you tell the wealthy relative he was being cheap? It seems you may be just as much as fault for not pointing it out. Wealth doesn't give you license to be rude.

Larry

Having moved from New York to Indiana about 5 years ago, I find that many people in Indiana are very poor tippers. Most believe that restaurant owners should pay waiters and waitresses more and that diners should not pay the customary 15% or 20% tip for good service.

lisa

How many of you were dining? If it were 5 or more, many restaraunts automatically include a 15% tip. If so, your relative was actually being extra generous.

If the other was a stingy tipper, I'd do what others suggest - make up the difference or give the waiter some on the sly. I'd probably leave the extra on the table so that others might get the idea that a bigger tip was in order...

x-it

I think you should mind your own business, especially since you aren't sure that 15% wasn't automatically added to the bill.

Qwerty

Thank for interesting comments.

Information: There were 4 of us, and he showed the bill to me to verify what I owed. No tip included.

Comment: the only people who ever seem this tight to me are people with plenty. Conversely, the most generous tipper I know is "making do" on $30K/yr.

dejavu

This sounds like Leslie again!

Qwerty

Hah! Now that you mention it, I remember Leslie's cheapskate new groom. He's probably a relative of the guy we were out with -- except wasn't Mr. Leslie from South America? He at least had an excuse!