Children flying alone -
Aug 29th, 2005, 12:49 PM
#22
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I agree that each individual situation should be weighed on it's own merit and not all children have the same comfort level or maturity in such a situation.
My husband's daughter has been flying from Houston to St. Maarten to see us every summer since the age of six and we've never had a problem (knock on wood) with her flying as an unaccompanied minor.
Until the age of 14 one of us flew (at considerable cost for a one day turnaround) to Miami, overnighted, and met her flight the following day so that she did not have a connection without a parent.
Once she had made the route numerous times, however, we were comfortable with her being old enough to not be afraid if she ended up having to overnight in Miami due to a missed connection. Naturally, we consulted her about her own comfort in this situation.
When I contacted the airline about how this is handled, I was told that the child is put on the next available flight. If that flight isn't until the following day, the child is put in a hotel room with a flight attendant of the same sex and returned to the airport the following day. In other words, an airline employee is always with them and they are never left alone. This could be frightening for a younger child, though, which is why we flew to Miami to meet her until her teens.
I have also noticed over the years that she is never left unattended, even at the gate or in the restroom. And, they put her on the aircraft as soon as they can...even up to 45 minutes ahead of the other passengers.
I almost shudder to think that I took a bus at the age of 12, alone with only my 9 year old sister, from Dallas to Houston one time. Of course, this was in a much safer day and age.
My husband's daughter has been flying from Houston to St. Maarten to see us every summer since the age of six and we've never had a problem (knock on wood) with her flying as an unaccompanied minor.
Until the age of 14 one of us flew (at considerable cost for a one day turnaround) to Miami, overnighted, and met her flight the following day so that she did not have a connection without a parent.
Once she had made the route numerous times, however, we were comfortable with her being old enough to not be afraid if she ended up having to overnight in Miami due to a missed connection. Naturally, we consulted her about her own comfort in this situation.
When I contacted the airline about how this is handled, I was told that the child is put on the next available flight. If that flight isn't until the following day, the child is put in a hotel room with a flight attendant of the same sex and returned to the airport the following day. In other words, an airline employee is always with them and they are never left alone. This could be frightening for a younger child, though, which is why we flew to Miami to meet her until her teens.
I have also noticed over the years that she is never left unattended, even at the gate or in the restroom. And, they put her on the aircraft as soon as they can...even up to 45 minutes ahead of the other passengers.
I almost shudder to think that I took a bus at the age of 12, alone with only my 9 year old sister, from Dallas to Houston one time. Of course, this was in a much safer day and age.
Aug 29th, 2005, 03:24 PM
#24
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I was curious about the US Air policy on unaccompanied minors and found it easily on their website. It sounds reasonable to me. Here it is, in brief:
Under 5 years old: Children under 5 years old must be accompanied by an adult.
Between 5 and 14 years old: Unaccompanied children, between the ages of 5 and 14, may travel on US Airways nonstop flights for a fee. Flight connections to other airlines are not permitted.
Between the ages of 15 and 17 years old: Minors between the ages of 15 and 17 traveling alone are considered young adults and are not required to purchase unaccompanied minor services from US Airways. Upon request, unaccompanied minor services will be provided by US Airways for a fee. Flight connections to other airlines are permitted and additional fees may be required.
Under 5 years old: Children under 5 years old must be accompanied by an adult.
Between 5 and 14 years old: Unaccompanied children, between the ages of 5 and 14, may travel on US Airways nonstop flights for a fee. Flight connections to other airlines are not permitted.
Between the ages of 15 and 17 years old: Minors between the ages of 15 and 17 traveling alone are considered young adults and are not required to purchase unaccompanied minor services from US Airways. Upon request, unaccompanied minor services will be provided by US Airways for a fee. Flight connections to other airlines are permitted and additional fees may be required.
Aug 30th, 2005, 02:23 PM
#26
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I recently was seated in first class next to an unaccompanied child, she looked to be only 7 or 8, she was tiny and crumpled sadly in her seat, she didnt want to talk. When we took off she burst into tears and sobbed the whole way. I tried to comfort her the best I could, she finally told me she was leaving her dad's house to go back to her mom's and she didn't want to go. It was heartbreaking, even the flight atendants had tears in their eyes. They said they saw horrible scenes like this every day.
Aug 30th, 2005, 06:12 PM
#27
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It has been interesting reading all of your comments. I guess my main purpose of this thread is this: Children need protection and safekeeping. You accept this responsibility as their parent. I think the parents of these children would have been appalled if they had a video feed seeing their child in a wild, and kinda of crazy environment that airports (especially a Vegas airport) are. What the parents don't know won't hurt them -- but what about the child? A five year old flying alone?
Don't give in to a false sense of security by the airlines providing safe passage. I know they do their best but with staff reductions and pack planes - they really don't have the time and sometimes even the energy to monitor children -- especially during a busy flight. And what about all of the teaching them to not to talk to strangers? Here you go and put them in with a horde of strangers - airline employees included -- no wonder they are terrified and confused.
I wish that parents would really think long and hard about the situations that can and do occur, such as weather conditions or a plane malfunction which may lead to a crash landing preparation. I am so glad that I have personally never experienced that but as other posters have mentioned and my own sister has expecienced that -- it can traumatized adults (everyone freaking out). Maybe movies such as Home Alone give us the impression that children can think like adults -- but that alas, is only in the movies. Most children will react like children -- not adults.
Don't give in to a false sense of security by the airlines providing safe passage. I know they do their best but with staff reductions and pack planes - they really don't have the time and sometimes even the energy to monitor children -- especially during a busy flight. And what about all of the teaching them to not to talk to strangers? Here you go and put them in with a horde of strangers - airline employees included -- no wonder they are terrified and confused.
I wish that parents would really think long and hard about the situations that can and do occur, such as weather conditions or a plane malfunction which may lead to a crash landing preparation. I am so glad that I have personally never experienced that but as other posters have mentioned and my own sister has expecienced that -- it can traumatized adults (everyone freaking out). Maybe movies such as Home Alone give us the impression that children can think like adults -- but that alas, is only in the movies. Most children will react like children -- not adults.
Aug 30th, 2005, 07:42 PM
#28
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Began to fly my son alone just before he turned three ... basically we fibbed about his age, put him in first class and started him off on non-stops to relatives. Worked so well we followed suit with the others. Not sure how this would fly these days. Have not witnessed any ill effects with the kids.
Sep 3rd, 2005, 07:32 PM
#29
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I'm sorry....I don't care what the circumstances are....how could anyone allow a child to fly alone, direct flight or not? There are so many variables.
I've seen kids flying alone. I find myself keeping an eye on them, because I can't imagine my kid being in that position. It makes my stomach churn.
Just my opinion and 2 cents!
I've seen kids flying alone. I find myself keeping an eye on them, because I can't imagine my kid being in that position. It makes my stomach churn.
Just my opinion and 2 cents!
Sep 3rd, 2005, 07:48 PM
#30
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I forgot about this thread. I too hate to see little ones fly by themselves.
But I had a strange problem with my little "gypsey feet" daughter. By the time she was 7 years old she begged to fly across the US by herself to visit family. She begged and begged. Finally when she finished 7th grade we let her fly to a friends house in Vacouver, BC. Oh gads was I a nervous wreck. She loved it.
So the next year we let her fly to Virginia to spend a month with her brother and his wife. I was a nervous wreck again. But all went fine and she loved it.
She still complains because we made her wait until she was 12 to fly alone, LOL. But there was no way I would have allowed her to earlier then that. But obviously some children are more ready to fly on their own earlier then others. And the story about the little one crying when she had to fly home to her mother house, how terribly sad.
But I had a strange problem with my little "gypsey feet" daughter. By the time she was 7 years old she begged to fly across the US by herself to visit family. She begged and begged. Finally when she finished 7th grade we let her fly to a friends house in Vacouver, BC. Oh gads was I a nervous wreck. She loved it.
So the next year we let her fly to Virginia to spend a month with her brother and his wife. I was a nervous wreck again. But all went fine and she loved it.
She still complains because we made her wait until she was 12 to fly alone, LOL. But there was no way I would have allowed her to earlier then that. But obviously some children are more ready to fly on their own earlier then others. And the story about the little one crying when she had to fly home to her mother house, how terribly sad.
Sep 3rd, 2005, 10:41 PM
#31
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I believe that children cannot fly alone unless they are a certain age and the flight is non stop.
They board the flight first and get off last, accompanied by a flight attendant. They are watched by flight attendants during the flights.
In March, flying to Paris from NY, there was a little girl in front of us, flying alone to meet her grandfather in Paris. She had been in NY visiting relatives.
During the flight she got tired and started to cry. I stuck my hand between the wall and the seat and she held it. She fell asleep, I spoke to the flight attendant and he said that he was aware that she was weeping, she was tired and he knew she would fall asleep soon. She did sleep throught the whole flight and when we were getting off the plane, she was being straightened out and fluffed up ( hair) to go meet her grandparents..They met her at the gate, all happy smiles and kisses and a big thank you to the flight attendant who took care of her.
My children have flown since a very early age, with us and on their own. They are still flying too! But now I want them to take me with them!!
They board the flight first and get off last, accompanied by a flight attendant. They are watched by flight attendants during the flights.
In March, flying to Paris from NY, there was a little girl in front of us, flying alone to meet her grandfather in Paris. She had been in NY visiting relatives.
During the flight she got tired and started to cry. I stuck my hand between the wall and the seat and she held it. She fell asleep, I spoke to the flight attendant and he said that he was aware that she was weeping, she was tired and he knew she would fall asleep soon. She did sleep throught the whole flight and when we were getting off the plane, she was being straightened out and fluffed up ( hair) to go meet her grandparents..They met her at the gate, all happy smiles and kisses and a big thank you to the flight attendant who took care of her.
My children have flown since a very early age, with us and on their own. They are still flying too! But now I want them to take me with them!!
Sep 4th, 2005, 02:56 AM
#32
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Well, this thread certainly struck a chord as I put my 14 yr old DD on a plane last Friday week. SHe flew with Qantas SYD - LAX, transferred to AA & flew on to YYZ.
At no point in time was she unaccompanied, but I would not have let her transfer at T4 in LAX by herself.
She has been flying between SYD & Melbourne in Australia since she was 5 but it is a 1 hr direct flight. I don't know that I would have let her fly a non-direct flght in the States when she was younger. However it all comes down to your own personal circumstances and it is really not up to others to be judging.
A cardinal rule with Qantas is that the child cannot be seated next to a male.
At no point in time was she unaccompanied, but I would not have let her transfer at T4 in LAX by herself.
She has been flying between SYD & Melbourne in Australia since she was 5 but it is a 1 hr direct flight. I don't know that I would have let her fly a non-direct flght in the States when she was younger. However it all comes down to your own personal circumstances and it is really not up to others to be judging.
A cardinal rule with Qantas is that the child cannot be seated next to a male.
Sep 4th, 2005, 05:20 AM
#33
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Just realised that my post may not be clear - she travelled as an "unaccompanied minor" and was escorted the entire trip by airline staff. She was the first to board and last to disembark and was escorted through immigration, customs, security check points etc both in LAX and Toronto. At no point was she left alone and my brother was the only person they would deliver custody to.
Sep 4th, 2005, 05:39 AM
#34
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apparently it's a confidence issue ... if the adults possess it, they then allow kids to obtain it ... flying alone is one excellent way. Parents and others, untie thouse strings and let the kids breathe. What could happen aboard a plane ... could be too many of you are seeing the Red Eye ads, lol. Have a good day, whatever you view.
Sep 4th, 2005, 05:48 AM
#35
Personally, I would not let my 11 and 13 year olds fly alone. That is me and my comfort factor. I will wait until they are older. (mid-late teens).
I also do not have the issues that some have(divorce).
I think it is a personal family decision. I also think some children fly alone long before they should which is unfortuante for the people sitting around them.
I also do not have the issues that some have(divorce).
I think it is a personal family decision. I also think some children fly alone long before they should which is unfortuante for the people sitting around them.
Sep 4th, 2005, 07:37 AM
#36
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What if there's a storm or mechanical problem and the plane gets diverted to land in another city?
Returning from Vegas a few years ago, our flight out of Vegas was late because of mechanical problems. We were going to change planes in Newark, but by the time we arrived, the plane that was "supposedly" waiting for our late arrival had left for Buffalo already, so we had to spend the night in Newark.
In a circumstance like that, what happens to the child?
I can loosen my apron strings without sending my kid thousands of miles away from home hoping that a stranger is looking after him.
To each his own!
Returning from Vegas a few years ago, our flight out of Vegas was late because of mechanical problems. We were going to change planes in Newark, but by the time we arrived, the plane that was "supposedly" waiting for our late arrival had left for Buffalo already, so we had to spend the night in Newark.
In a circumstance like that, what happens to the child?
I can loosen my apron strings without sending my kid thousands of miles away from home hoping that a stranger is looking after him.
To each his own!
Sep 4th, 2005, 11:40 AM
#37
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My daughter has been flying between the east and west coasts since she was 3 weeks old. About the age of 6 or 7 we put her on her first flight alone. Obviously, when an adult could accompany her, they did, but many times it was not feasible. I was a single mother who had to work and there were court-ordered visits that had to be fulfilled. She was never allowed to be booked on a non-stop flight. This was a rule of the airlines for children under 12; perhaps they have changed that now? She had to be delivered to her escort, a flight attendant, and she was only released to an authrorized person who could produce ID.
She always loved to fly alone, and had special treatment: was put in first class, got ice cream and other treats, was even asked by the FAs to help hand out peanuts, etc. Had there at any point been any indication that she was unhappy, uncomfortable or unsafe, the trips would have been stopped. In fact, she loved to travel so much that we soon allowed her visit grandparents and other family members who are spread out across the country. My nephew is now flying alone and always arrives excitedly full of stories of what happened on his flight. Recently he was allowed to make annoucements for the FAs over the speakers.
Do you really think the airlines are going to intenionally allow an unaccompanied minor to be placed in harm's way? They take great care and we pay extra for it. Sure, things can happen, but they can happen anyplace. School is much more dangerous than flying, in my opinion. Parents have to put their faith in school teachers, bus drivers and other school employees everyday. These are all essentially strangers. Children heading to school are abducted, school buses break down and are in accidents. Kids can be hit by cars, treatened by bullies, bit by dogs, offered drugs and exposed to all kinds of other potential dangers. And yet, everyday millions of school children leave their homes alone and get on school busses, or ride their bikes to class. Perhaps we should all home school?
I take great offense to those who try to tell me that I should subscribe to their boilerplate rules for parenting. Not every child is the same, nor is every parenting situation. I allowed my child to travel alone and it was not traumatic or poor parenting. I encouraged her from a young age to be independent and confident and to take on the world. I sent her to Montesori school at the age of 3. I suppose I shoud be chastised for that as well. I personally do not believe that a child should be so overly protected from life experiences that they emerge from school unaware of the world around them, as so many young adults seem to be now-a-days. My definition of good parenting includes knowing your child and their limitations, and teaching them to function in the world. Every child is unique and only their individual parents will know (or should know) when their child is ready for things like travelling alone. My daughter is a very well-adjusted young wonan now, who just finished her masters degree in foreign policy at the age of 22 and is working on her doctorate. Thank God she was able to survive my neglectful and abusive parenting methods!
She always loved to fly alone, and had special treatment: was put in first class, got ice cream and other treats, was even asked by the FAs to help hand out peanuts, etc. Had there at any point been any indication that she was unhappy, uncomfortable or unsafe, the trips would have been stopped. In fact, she loved to travel so much that we soon allowed her visit grandparents and other family members who are spread out across the country. My nephew is now flying alone and always arrives excitedly full of stories of what happened on his flight. Recently he was allowed to make annoucements for the FAs over the speakers.
Do you really think the airlines are going to intenionally allow an unaccompanied minor to be placed in harm's way? They take great care and we pay extra for it. Sure, things can happen, but they can happen anyplace. School is much more dangerous than flying, in my opinion. Parents have to put their faith in school teachers, bus drivers and other school employees everyday. These are all essentially strangers. Children heading to school are abducted, school buses break down and are in accidents. Kids can be hit by cars, treatened by bullies, bit by dogs, offered drugs and exposed to all kinds of other potential dangers. And yet, everyday millions of school children leave their homes alone and get on school busses, or ride their bikes to class. Perhaps we should all home school?
I take great offense to those who try to tell me that I should subscribe to their boilerplate rules for parenting. Not every child is the same, nor is every parenting situation. I allowed my child to travel alone and it was not traumatic or poor parenting. I encouraged her from a young age to be independent and confident and to take on the world. I sent her to Montesori school at the age of 3. I suppose I shoud be chastised for that as well. I personally do not believe that a child should be so overly protected from life experiences that they emerge from school unaware of the world around them, as so many young adults seem to be now-a-days. My definition of good parenting includes knowing your child and their limitations, and teaching them to function in the world. Every child is unique and only their individual parents will know (or should know) when their child is ready for things like travelling alone. My daughter is a very well-adjusted young wonan now, who just finished her masters degree in foreign policy at the age of 22 and is working on her doctorate. Thank God she was able to survive my neglectful and abusive parenting methods!
Sep 4th, 2005, 11:51 AM
#38
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My own kids have flown so much that they are more savvy travelers than 90% of my coworkers or neighbors or friends. Even the youngest of my kids know to be prepared with all necessary ID, funds, and electronics.
What I worry about instead are the fragile elderly who are generally much more trusting but less capable of handling danger.
What I worry about instead are the fragile elderly who are generally much more trusting but less capable of handling danger.
Sep 4th, 2005, 12:04 PM
#39
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I'd also like to add that we insist that everyone in our travel party - adult and child - have all necessary information and travel skills in case someone gets separated from the group. This probably came from watching the Home Alone movies
So my kids trained to travel solo even while traveling in a group. I always had my kids get the airline gate maps or train stop maps and tell ME where we needed to go. That is why I am comfortable.
My youngest went recently on a school trip to NYC and came home appalled that some of the kids didn't know anything about how to travel. She said they all ought to start reading Fodors to catchup!
So my kids trained to travel solo even while traveling in a group. I always had my kids get the airline gate maps or train stop maps and tell ME where we needed to go. That is why I am comfortable.
My youngest went recently on a school trip to NYC and came home appalled that some of the kids didn't know anything about how to travel. She said they all ought to start reading Fodors to catchup!
Sep 4th, 2005, 12:10 PM
#40
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"here today"...
Thanks for a wonderful post. Your comments about the dangers that exist, even at close to home schools, certainly are important.
What still upsets me, is why the women/mothers of our country are so quick to judge each other.
And I'll bet that every one of the opinions posted here came from a woman.
We have done battle with each other over so many issues. Working moms/stay at home moms, public school/private school/home school.
There's always a subtle reference to *tolerance*, usually veiled in such comments as "of course I'm lucky enough to be able to stay home", "that may be OK for some, but my children know my rules", "my DH would never lose his temper with me" and the least subtle..."of course there is no divorce in my family".
Well, my sisters, we never know what the future will hold. So "never say never" and try to be more understanding.
Marion
Thanks for a wonderful post. Your comments about the dangers that exist, even at close to home schools, certainly are important.
What still upsets me, is why the women/mothers of our country are so quick to judge each other.
And I'll bet that every one of the opinions posted here came from a woman.
We have done battle with each other over so many issues. Working moms/stay at home moms, public school/private school/home school.
There's always a subtle reference to *tolerance*, usually veiled in such comments as "of course I'm lucky enough to be able to stay home", "that may be OK for some, but my children know my rules", "my DH would never lose his temper with me" and the least subtle..."of course there is no divorce in my family".
Well, my sisters, we never know what the future will hold. So "never say never" and try to be more understanding.
Marion
