JJ5

Calamari, you can come to my house. Combine it with a trip to Chicago, as I'm about 45 minutes away on the train and it's my holiday. I usually have about 4 or 5 people who can't get home from their college location plus about 35 to 40 other people. This includes an ex and girlfriend if any, my significant other, three children and their spouses, 5 grandchildren, parents in their 80's, daughter's in-laws with their various new spouses and man-friends AND nieces and nephews with or without significent others plus college room mates. And on occasion their are other categories like Brothers (religious order) who don't want to fly home etc. etc. There are two or three seatings and the Trivial Pursuit games are terrific and deadly.

You may be subjected to the Bears games this year as it starts as 3pm central time. Game is held in Detroit, so you wouldn't have to contend with that traffic if coming from downtown area. If you decide on Chicago, the invitation is open and you will need a good warm coat, not just a jacket.

I don't know how strong your holiday traditions were, but this could also be an opportunity to strenghten them in a new way. Who is cooking? What will your father miss in the food choices? With a name like Calamari- food is pretty important, RIGHT!

Every holiday after big change is hard. This holiday I will be missing my brother. He's leaving for Iraq this month. At 54, he is going to mentor the Iraqi police for a year. Haven't see my mom cry in 30 years and now she's cried for about 2 straight weeks. She's 82.

Life, it's always something and you never know when your holiday will change. But the best and newest traditions have always had beginnings. Maybe you should travel and/or just have a bigger Christmas, but your mom wouldn't want you to be without traditions of some kind.

mclaurie

Will you be alone or will your DH come too? That makes a difference. And what sort of budget?

Tandoori_Girl

In New Orleans they have a tradition of deep-frying turkeys that have been injected with lots of spices. Some restaurants that are open on Thanksgiving Day offer this local delicacy and advertise it on their marquees. And where could be more fun than New Orleans?

wtggirl

I have to second New Orleans! The city is "food" destination and I can't think of a better time than Thanksgiving. As far as Chicago...I've lived there and for someone from San Diego it is not "crisp", it is friggin freezing at Thanksgiving. One other option for you would be to get on a cruise from San Diego or L.A and head to the Mexican Riviera. They always have nice Thanksgiving dinners and you will be sitting with a bunch of "new friends" yourself!

AnnaR

Calamari: my suggestion would be to think really, really hard about what you'd like to do, then do it. If you can't do that then do the closest to it.

Austin

Ummm JJ, if Calamari can't make it, can I come? I guess I'd have to bring my H and daughter. But I'll also bring lots of wine and H is a great cook. Daughter can help clean up. Nothing in this world better than Large family gatherings on holidays.

travdog

Hi Calamari...I feel for you, that's a rough situation. Depending on what type of getaway you want, you could go to Carmel (a little bit of a drive for you in SD, but you could stop on the way or fly to Monterey.) The plus here is that the restaurants are fabulous, and no cooking or clean up! If you have dogs, you can even bring them with you since its such a dog friendly place. If you want to take your mind of missing your mom, you could go to Las Vegas. Its quiet at Thanksgiving and the weather is ideal there. We went one time and stayed at the Venetian when we were having a particularly stressful time. We managed to have a good time while only thinking about our troubles briefly. Whatever you do, please don't feel guilty about wanting to be somewhere else for this holiday. You need to do what is right for you, and if you don't feel up to facing it this year, don't let that add to your stress.

Calamari

Wow, thank you everyone for your fantastic ideas and in some cases, invitations! My dad totally understands that going up to my mom's house (3 hours away) and cooking in her kitchen, using her favorite plates and making all the traditional fixings that we have always made together, will be just too darn hard for me this year. He has NO SHORTAGE of invitations from friends. DH and I have always done a charitable event around Thanksgiving and this year we will be doing a gala for the American Liver Foundation. SOME of your suggestions were so appreciated because I feel like for once I just need to take care of myself (DH & kids too) this year and now have some great ideas thanks to you. I did not realize Carmel was "dog friendly" and that would really help since we now have mom's dog. Gotta run but I have really enjoyed everyone's, well almost everyone's input. Cheers.

massteacher

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, by far. To truly celebrate it in an authentic way means turkey and all the fixings. Why not come to the area where the Thanksgiving celebration originated, Plymouth. The recreated village celebrates in a very traditional manner with appropriate foods and dress. There are many things to do in the Plymouth area with a drive to Cape Cod very doable.

Cassandra

If you are, indeed, willing to travel to the Other Coast, consider Sturbridge Village (restored colonial village in central Mass.), with dinner at the Tavern, or Colonial Williamsburg (SE of Richmond VA). I've done both and have a preference for Wmsburg's, just because there's a little more to the restored area and a large choice of restaurants.

http://www.osv.org/ - Sturbridge
http://www.history.org/ - Wms'burg

But plan soon -- these places book up for Thanksgiving.

JJ5

Calamari, sounds like you made the best decision for all of your family.

Hope a little of your San Diego sunshine makes it way to Chicago on Nov. 25th. Don't care if it's cold, but it would be nice if we had sun shining for the travelers, instead of sleet delays.

Austin, I always have at least two turkeys and plenty of food, but could always use good wine and more light-hearted people.

pdxgirl

Calamari - it was unclear from your original post if you were planning a trip alone or with husband and kids. I'm glad to hear you are planning a family trip and I'm sure you will have a great holiday. When my Dad died and my mom started spending Thanksgiving in Phoenix with her new hubby, my DH and I starting hosting our own Thanksgiving with friends. It has become my favorite holiday because we get to do what we want (eat, drink and play charades!). This is an opportunity for you to create some new traditions with your family and I'm sure it will be a great holiday. Best wishes to you all.

Barbara

Calamari, there's always my house, a mere 20mins or so by car! I think the cruise idea is great.

paula1470

Calamari- Another place that is great during Thanksgiving is Arizona and it's not too far of a drive from San Diego. I also live in the San Diego area (North County) and I would invite you to my house but I will be in Arizona with my family. Weather is perfect there during November and you could pick anywhere between Tucson, Scottsdale, etc. I was actually thinking of getting the whole family to go up to Sedona for Thanksgiving. It is one of my favorite places-still working on that one.

Billee

Calamari,
I'm relieved to know you will not be alone for Thanksgiving and Carmel sounds wonderful. The first holiday after loosing a loved one can be difficult. I did not intend to "preach" to anyone regarding charitable work; it was something that helped keep my mind occupied the first Thanksgiving following a loss.
JJ5-What time is dinner? I will bring my crowd of 30+ and help with the cooking; but, you will have to eat cornbread dressing!

mclaurie

I too am glad you'll be with your family and that Dad is well taken care of. If you want to take the dog, I hope you realize there are a lot of websites with guides to pet friendly places. On the other hand, taking the dog does limit your options. Whatever you decide, I hope you have a great time. You could just stay home and go out for Thanksgiving meal.

JJ5

Billee, I don't think I could do 30 more. After so many years of doing this, I think I just about have it down-
but adding 30 would be a bit much.

Our main dinner is about 1:30pm with another about 4 or 5pm with another fresh turkey. A second group arrives for the later but lots stay for both.
We also have homemade lasagna or ravioli and numerous other dishes. Everything is from scratch, and nothing is from a box. We always have at least one zuchinni bake, sweet potatoes two ways, mashed potatoes. REAL GRAVY. At least four different kinds of vegtables and homemade cranberry relish that has nuts in it. We have two people who made home made pumpkin pies from the cooked down pumpkins we grow and believe me, they do not taste like Baker's Square and actual whipped cream is on top. Everyone under 10 years of age gets to peal off the crispy turkey skin and eat it while its still sizzling. We do not speak of cholesterol on this day. No carved centerpieces like Martha Stewart's for us. My stuffing isn't cornbread,I make it out of Italian bread, celery, parsley, onions and turkey stock. I like cornbread stuffing though. As you can see, we like about everything. Last year there was nothing left from two 24 lbs. turkeys down to the last brussel sprout. Also it was the first year that the woman lost the final Trivial Pursuit game.

I need not mention the wine choices, but I do admit that I have hoarded my favorite Lindemann's so that it isn't wasted on those who don't appreciate it.

gyppielou

Gyppielou's amazing new england rustic kitchen of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

travdog

Hi Calamari, If you decide to go to Carmel, try a restaurant called Grazings. Middle of town, dog friendly heated patio and they serve everything you can think of for Thanksgiving. Sounds like a lot of people (me included!) are wishing you as good of a holiday as you can have under the circumstances. Please post again after the holiday and give a review of your trip! I'm sure there are so many others out there facing their first holiday without a loved family member or friend who would benefit.

Leburta

Come to Hawaii and have Thanksgiving with us! It's always a big potluck with family and friends. Lots of food (traditional and otherwise). Your Dad will wish that he made plans to be with you in Hawaii too!