hannah25

Xrcizfanatic,

You can see you've landed in an opinionated bunch!

I lived in KC for 17 years, Portland 2, DC 9 and now Atlanta for 5. I didn't have a problem dating in any city, but met my husband here.

I'll say this: pick somewhere you can LIVE, not just date. Especially as folks get, ahem, older, people become tied to places for personal or professional reasons. My husband has a daughter here, and so leaving Atlanta (together that is) is not an option for at least several years. And that's okay. Prior to meeting him though I was seriously entertaining moving back to KC. I'd hate to think you'd move somewhere, meet someone, discover you actually do not like that part of the country and then find yourself (lovingly of course) "tied" to an area that you'd rather not be. That said, I'd live in any of the cities I mentioned above again.

jenzie

I wouldn't recommend San Fran for a single woman anyway. I live there and ALL the women I know can't find a decent guy that is hetero or unmarried. I'm only married because I met my man in Boston, which I love, even though it's a bit expensive. And I don't think anyone has mentioned San Diego, which is less expensive, laid back and has plenty of nice, single men...I have a friend down there who loves it. Don't go to Utah...Someone must have said that as a joke!

sunbum1944

My 29 year old daughter moved from Kansas City to San Diego a year ago.(she actually lives in Carlsbad which is a little north of SD)
she moved alone so of course there have been lots of adjustments but she is enjoying it although she has not yet met the man of her life - she is busy- took her first surfing lesson last week.
She found a house to share with 2 other people ( in fact a room may be coming avaiable soon) 2 blocks to the beach- its definately more expensive than KC where she could afford to live alone-
The thing she likes the least is the traffic of course -
I cant imagine anyone not liking SD and she has had tons of company since she moved- you can frequently get $200 + on Southwest from KC to SD .
And if you are interested in SD I could always help the 2 of you connect

aschie30

Definitely NOT Chicago. I've lived here for 11 years and the dating scene is nil. Everyone is married to their high school/college sweetie by 27. Wait until you're 40 when they're all divorced.

Two words for ya:
NEW YORK.

Stephanie

Never New York City. The men are very arrogant there and very spoiled when it comes to using women and the cost of living isn't worth it and on top of that there are 11 million people in the greater metropolitan area. You want some people around but 11 million???? Its a whole big country with many good cities so don't be limited to major east coast cities.

rj3334

New York, how can you go wrong w/ 11 million people?!

Vittrad

aschie30 - no kidding, I've lived in the city proper for 9 years now (actually I grew up here, some miles south of midway airport) and it is really depressing because I didn't marry my high school sweetheart (I believe he's a plumber somewhere on the south side) and have discovered that for a 30 year old woman, it truly is a dating wasteland.

aschie30

Vittrad- sounds like you dodged a bullet there. I'll wait until they're 40 when they've hopefully learned some lessons, but in the meantime, I'll take of relatively cheap standard of living, the great Chicago summer lifestyle (except the stifling heat), and the everchanging restaurant/bar scene (that is, until I have the opportunity to transfer to London).

mm

> I lived in KC for 17 years, Portland 2, DC 9 and now Atlanta for 5.

Hey Hannah - you keep getting run out of town?

Glad you found your Boston man. As a New Englander I know that the best and brightest and most considerate men come from here!

Modest too.




m

xrcizfanatic

Hey everyone -thanks so much for the great suggestions! O.K., I'll give you a little clarification on what I'm looking for. I am definitely interested in finding the right guy and getting married. Sure, I like to go out and socialize, but hanging out at the bars every weekend "partying" is NOT my objective (been there, done that!) I am very physically active and love the outdoors, but also appreciate culture, the arts, and great shopping. Although I have traveled fairly extensively throughout the U.S., I'm sure many of my impressions and observations from a visitor's perspective are not necessarily accurate. I have visited Chicago countless times-love it! The only downsides are the high cost of living and the hellish winters. I have been impressed with almost all the East coast cities I've visited -if cost was not an issue, I would go to NYC in a heartbeat! I have been only once to both Boston and Philly, but both seemed like great cities. I also liked the DC/Baltimore area and I've heard Baltimore is relatively inexpensive to live, compared to other nearby cities. I don't think the South is for me, although everyone seems to have great things to say about Austin -never been there, but may be worth a look! My best friend lives in Seattle and I have been there several times -it is beautiful, but again it seems very pricey (especially the housing). Maybe I'm a little spoiled having lived so cheaply here in the Midwest for so long! Again, thank for your help and any additional input is greatly appreciated!

Stephanie

rj:

i'd rather pick quality over quantity of people, 11 million is way too many people. when you have that many the quality of life goes down, you lose your identity as well as your privacy, because no matter where you are there is someone around the corner, not something i am fond of.

Andrew

I respectfully disagree with BTilke about Portland and single men. There are plenty of good single guys here (including me!). Actually Portland (including Vancouver, WA) is kind of a weird place to be single. Hard to explain what I mean. There are plenty of singles and plenty of places to meet people here but there's something a bit odd about the singles culture. Portland has traditionally been kind of a "family town" with cliques based on growing up here, but the place has been growing like gangbusters in the last 20 years so that is changing, yet it still isn't particularly easy to meet people. Most of my single friends here complain about the singles "scene" and the difficulty in meeting people. Most of my friends use the internet to meet people to date.

Maybe there's something about dashing through the rain that makes people a little less social? Not sure, but I probably wouldn't recommend Portland as a place to come if you are "single and looking."

Andrew

atlswan

I've always been a cheerleader for my town, Atlanta. But I have to admit that when I was single, the available females seemed to far outnumber the available men. I can remember volunteering at Hands on Atlanta and the women outnumbered the men there, too. I'm not much into the club scene so maybe I was in the wrong places. I ended up meeting my husband at work.

While Boston is costly, I would think it would be a great, lively place for a single lady. But I've never lived there so I can't speak with authority.

leahinsc

You know I went through this myself several years ago. I know there are even websites or reference books where you can look up male vs female ratios but that can be deceptive. I think you have been given some great suggestions but the most important things are: where can you be happy in your job? how far do you want to be from your family so it doesn't cost them/you too much to visit?
YOu could be in the biggest best city with tons of available men but if you aren't getting out and meeting them it won't do you any good. I've lived in 2 smaller cities where people both said "good luck meeting men - there aren't any" In Columbia, SC I met someone the first week I lived there and dated them for 3 years. In Asheville NC it was a little more difficult - I dated quite a bit but ended up meeting my husband on-line (match.com). The quiet ones are out there - they just don't hang out in bars! So maybe if you like KC try match and see if there is a male in your position - I bet there is!

newgirl

I'm in the process of making a similar decision myself and got word of this forum through a great book called Making It In the City, a girls' guide to starting life on your own in a ridiculously expensive city you can't afford. It helped me a lot!
I'm now torn between Chicago and Atlanta and I'm going to visit both to check them out. Both seem to offer a lot without costing too much. But seriously, I highly recommend this book as you sound a lot like me!!!

xrcizfanatic

newgirl -sounds like a great book! I will definitely buy a copy of it today-thanks!

newgirl

Keep us posted on your decision! (may help me too...)

Ms_Jingles

From my experiences, you have to live in an area where people share similar values and beliefs as you do. I think this is why the majority of people continue to live where they were born and raised -- and to be near family. Stay in Kansas City!! You like it there. It's hard for me to believe you can't find a single guy in a population of 500,000.

L84SKY

San Diego is an ideal place for someone who is physically active. Many single people of all ages live here.
Tucson AZ has not been mentioned. It's a beautiful city with a very interesting art community. Of course, it gets a little hot during the summer but it's very affordable and growing. Each time I visit Tucson I'm surprised at how friendly people are there.

Tammyi007

Hi, Xrcifanatic!

I, too am in my mind-thirties and a single female (now - was married once (29-31)). I've lived in NYC for 14years, and while I love much of what the big apple offers, I am at this point contemplating a move, myself. What the others said about being lost in a city this big is so very true (and that said by someone considered a social butterfly and very involved in a variety of activities)...and I feel the good men are few and far between. The 'game' here is more about accumulation of women, and as much as the women are waiting until they are older to get married (career first, etc), the men are far worse. And that includes men on Match. If they live in NYC, they are generally NOT looking to settle down. I am taking the kind advice herein from your replies, as I think it's time we both found a new home. Best of luck to you, and happiness always!

-T