snowrooster

That's right, OO. We shouldn't demean someones thread just because it isn't something we might not do personally. As long as noone is breaking the law, there is no reason to make them feel bad.

ncgrrl

Ok, I'm spending way too much time here trying to find the posts people are referring too without complete success. For my want of staying gainfully employed for the next week or two, which post is Patrick and Traveldog referring too? And Olive Oyl, which grand mal event (I can think of a few).

By the way, I'm impressed with anyone who can spell Versailles (I copied it). I will never comment on grammar and spelling because mine is lousy. I too had trouble with the Versailles (don't ya' just love copy and paste )post.

snowrooster

Side note - in Indiana there is a town spelled Versailles that is pronounced like it is spelled (versales). I always thought that was funny.

OO

Snowrooster...although you obviously are unaware of it, I wasn't even referring to that thread--it is sheer coincidence that I posted after you above! Geez! But seeing as you've brought it up, and in this vein, I'll respond--my post regarding the CC promotion had been a genuine question on my part. Absolutely genuine, and pretty damned innocuous. I could not fathom someone posting what he had. My response was neither rude nor was it mocking, it was an expression of wonder at making something like that public. I sincerely resent your tossing this out all over again, especially here! This is precisely the sort of thing that makes people question why they stay!

snowrooster

OO - I never thought you were referring to me and certainly never indcated that I did. I'm not sure what it is I "tossed out." I think my comments were pretty innocent. I was only trying to infer that your advice was indeed good and should be taken into consideration by everyone (including yourself given a questionable response to someone else I read from you last week). If you insist on bringing up specifics, I believe your comment to the original poster on the thread to which you are referring was "And you feel good about that?" If someone responded that way to one of my threads, I would indeed be offended. I'm not trying to stir up trouble, and I apologize if you took my post the wrong way.

OO

ncgirl...THE Grand Mal Event, not to get more detailed. I can only think of one of that magnitude with everyone pretty upset. We'd best drop it at that. I'm sorry--I shouldn't have been more specific and let it rest with the saw: there are two sides to every story.

ncgrrl

Well, I guess I missed the seizure because it was seized?!? I thought I spent way too much time here and knew most all the US posts, but I guess not.
Maybe I was travel(l)ing at the time it happened.

I have found when someone is rude to me is to act like Susanne Sugarbaker (from tv's "Designing Living") and start with a loud "excuse me!" It helps to use my best southern accent too.

snowrooster

ncgrrl - I'm clueless on the grand mal as well. Funny about the southern accent. Whenever Scarlett posts I hear her posts in my head w/a southern drawl just because her name is Scarlett!! I adored Suzanne Sugarbaker - the show wasn't the same without her. But I digress . . .

Patrick

OK, now I'll jump back in here. Referring to that credit card thread (the one OO said "and you feel good about that?") to was one she and I had several exchanges on. Although I had posted after the original poster but before OO, I never thought she was speaking directly to me with that line, but so what? Gee, I don't find that all that insulting and wouldn't have been bothered if she had directed it to me (since I basically agreed with the original poster, it might as well have been to me). It was a way of expressing her view. And although OO and I totally disagreed on this topic, which became even more clear as we both posted a couple of times -- it was certainly nothing to get upset over. In fact if she were in town, I'd still love to have drinks together. It's sad that sometimes people think they can't disagree without becoming bitter enemies! Regarding that post, I'm perfectly comfortable with my position, but I certainly don't fault OO for hers. Discussion (which this was) and nasty arguments that are taken to a personal level (which this wasn't) are two different issues. The basic premise of OO's post was "how can you feel comfortable doing what you're doing" and I don't know how she could have posted that thought any less kindly than she did. Being able to discuss without getting downright rude and nasty is what I mean by "let's lighten up".

Patrick

Hmmm. On that next to the last line above, strike "I don't know how she could have posted that thought any less kindly than she did". What I meant was "any kinder than she did".

OO

snowrooster. My comment, verbatim, was "Er...you are proud of that?", followed by a rather cute blinking eyed icon, . If you found that an offensive remark, it is that you misinterpreted my intent. It was a genuine question, an expression of surprise, and hardly harsh!

My comment on this thread was a general one, yours was quite specific...and quite specifically, directed at me.

This is a perfect example of intent being mis-understood. Of a poster meaning one thing, and it being interpreted entirely differently. I wasn't slamming anyone. That just is not my style.

Anyway, this thread is a good one. People do need to express how they feel about some of what goes on here. Let's not get it deleted or halted with further discussion on the issue we are now having.

snowrooster

My opinion is that responding to someone with just "and you feel good about that?" is personal. If you wouldn't do something yourself, you can say just that - I wouldn't do that myself (and explain why) or simply not respond to the post (if you can't say something nice - especially if it doesn't lend any "travel info" to the thread). Posting a rhetorical question implying the OP has done something that should make them feel bad isn't very nice. But again, that's just my opinion.

snowrooster

OO - you said the original poster should be embarassed and was unethical. I don't know how that was misinterpretted. Again, not trying to cause trouble, but since you keep addressing me I'm just responding.

leelane911

Some people get away with a remark on this board, when another poster would say the same thing and get blasted. Some of the so-called sweet Southern belles on this board can be cutting and sarcastic. They do not get called on it because they are part of the clique. I like this mix of people though because so many do offer good travel information.

gracieb

No offense meant, but I'm going to say something here. Posts that Patrick and Snowrooster have posted THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ME have landed on my ears wrong. It has been enlightening in this thread to have Snowrooster give a possible reason (coming from a nastier thread and in a bad mood) and Patrick question himself and use an use an example from the Europe thread.

Prior to this thread I attributed MY HEARING of their posts due to differences that might include geography, temperament, sense of humor, or a multitude of other factors.

I don't remember reading anything OO has written that "landed" wrong on my ears.

Stay with me now...I'm not saying one is good and the other is bad. I'm guessing my filters are more similar to OO's than Snowrooster's and Patrick's. And WE ALL perceive things from our own filters.

That said, there are posters here who seem to delight in just being mean. I don't know a better option than ignoring them.

ncgrrl

leelane911 (and others), If I have been cutting and sarcastic towards you, I apologize. I've been on that side in my real life more often than I want to admit. However, I tend to be blunt and I know it is something that doesn't go over well in written communications (like sarcastic humor).

The southern accent (even in writing) is a double-edged sword. It can something bad seem less so, but many people think southeners are idiots.

Cassandra

Seems to me the most incendiary of posts fall into one of a hadnful of categories:

1. Putting down a poster for posting at all, or criticizing the way the post was phrased.

2. Putting down a favorite region, sight, city, event, activity, just to express distaste and question the quality of those who feel differently.

3. Adding a gratuitous political comment to an originally non-political post.

4. Posting a gratuitous political comment as if an actual thread.

5. Putting down a response to a post as itself unworthy or coming from an unworthy person.

I don't generally perceive the existence of cliques, or else I don't find them obnoxious (just tune out and go somewhere else), but the flame-artists are an abiding problem wherever they go.

I confess to letting some of those flame-artists get to me and responding when ignoring them was the better choice. Sometimes I feel their targets need either defense or solidarity. But sometimes I forget that what they REALLY want is attention, and negative attention gives them a sense of power. They criticize and put other posts down for the same reason.

Fortunately, they are the exception and they eventually burn themselves out, leaving the rest of us with an enjoyable favorite forum.

ncgrrl

you know, maybe I ought to do a better job of filtering my thoughts to paper.

It can MAKE something bad

yet another reason why I don't comment on grammar/spelling/incomplete thoughts.

snowrooster

gracieb - No offense taken. What can I say? Sometimes I think I thrive on disagreement, but lately I've been really trying to keep any disagreements from getting personal (which, as several of you pointed out to me, is just childish). This board would get kind of boring if everyone agreed on the same vacation destinations, hotels, and restaurants. A little debate is fun, as long as it doesn't go too far (in which case Fodor's will ban you, as I unfortunately found out a few weeks ago!!).

I didn't mean to start a big hulabaloo. I just found certain comments from a certain poster ironic given the only posts I had read from this indivicual went against what I felt this individual was instructing others to do. Enough said. We all have our moments and I certainly don't hold anything against this individual.

wanderluster

Indeed leelani! Southern belles here(excluding ncgirl IMO) are definitely NOT at all sweet! Not even close! ICK. And I've wondered if two of the names aren't indeed the same person.

But I'm going to take my own previous advice and continue to ignore them. They don't really give travel advice either, but are quick to point out when someone is WRONG. I actually feel sorry for people who feign authority on an internet board. Speaks volumes about their personal lives.