As predicted, threads about tipping eventually end up in disagreement, so it's easy to see why the uninitiated can get confused about topic.

You've been given pretty good general advice about whom to tip and whom not to tip. As for the amounts, don't stress over it.

For instance, some suggest $1/drink at a bar. If you had three drinks and tip only $2, no one is going to go ballistic. (If they do, tell them to go to hell.)

Similarly for van drivers who help you with your luggage. $1/bag? $2/bag? Anything in that neighborhood is fine.

And then there's the debate of 15-20% of the restaurant bill. Including liquor? Not including liquor? Including tax? Not including tax? You're on safe ground if you consider the whole bill. (I laugh at suggestions to not include the tax in the total. So if a bill, including $6 tax, is $100, is the tip amount going to change drastically if you subtract the $6 from the total?)

As you can see, there are ranges in "appropriate" tip amounts. I tend to go for the higher range if the service is better than average. Did the van driver carry my bags in the rain to a covered spot? Was the bartender quick to ask if I wanted another when my glass was empty, or did I have cobwebs before he/she showed up again?

If it makes you feel better, Americans feel just as confused when they enter a no-tipping culture.

The OP wanted real advice on how much to tip without looking like a cheapskate....

The word "cheap" doesn't appear here until you use it, and your comment is not about the OP but about another forum member. I called you on name-calling; that's me. You defended it and belittled me; that's you.

HTtY

your comment is not about the OP but about another forum member

I was correcting inaccurate information.

I called you on name-calling

I never called anyone here anything. I was referring to the "royal you". I thought that was clear, but I guess not.

Regardless, even if you thought I was name-calling, you should have left it at that. Instead, you chose to diverge into an unhelpful, inaccurate bit of nonsense about how a confident person can tip whatever they want. That is on you and I'm not going to apologize for pointing out your incorrect recommendation.

And, yes, ordering an expensive bottle of wine and not tipping on the cost (or tipping less than normal) is super cheap. If you can afford the wine, you can afford the tip.

Thank you for asking about tipping, that is a nice thing to research ahead of time.
Generally you have gotten good suggestions with minor differences of opinion (eg tip for food pre or post tax). I agree with please remember to tip your housekeeper daily in case she is off duty the day you check out. I also leave it on the pillow, so they know it is for them. It is amazing how many people do not tip these hard working people.

We always want extra coffee and towels in our hotel room and I don't like anyone to clean my room during a stay. I have my crap everywhere and usually clothes drying...I will find the housekeeper in the am outside my door, ask for those items and give her five. Last trip to Belfast I came back from a day out touring and she had left a bag at my door filled with goodies. We left money on the dresser with a thank you when we checked out after three nights.
Because we don't pay a living wage in the USA bartenders and servers depend on our tips as well as many others in the service industry. Very Sad....

twoflower: Some Americans, as you can see, are apologetic about the tipping culture. I'm not.

In fact, many people who rely heavily on tips make a decent wage when the tips are figured in. And I like the idea of directly rewarding a person for good service. After I graduated from college, and before I started a teaching job in September, I worked as a bartender for the summer. My weekly pay for that job, including tips, well exceeded my starting weekly pay as a teacher.

As for people who don't make a decent wage even when tips are included: Well, the world isn't a fair place, and some people are going to be in low-wage jobs, tips or no tips.

I apologize for my second and third posts on this thread. They are unkind and unnecessary. I was bored, and I went off in a direction that doesn't make me proud.

HTtY

vincenzo, more and more places pool their tips and divide among many at the end of the day. Good days and bad days. My brother owns a restaurant and bar. He is a good employer and has kids wanting to wash dishes to get their foot in the door. He opens at four so 90% of his servers work other jobs. Three are teachers. Many are ski patrol and white water guides. They do what they love, are young and educated. They need the second income though because it is a resort town. A wine sommelier comes to train them so they are knowledgeable and very good at their job. They work hard and deserve tips but they get some very slow nights so am glad they get paid a fair wage. A server in Europe is not looked at the same way many do in the US. It is a good honorable job.

This is amazing - thanks everyone! Not only do I feel my questions have been answered, but I've got answers to questions I only thought of later and wished I had asked!

The waiter service thing was obvious, but I'm glad also to have got guidelines for drinking at the bar. Now here's a question: sometimes we will go into a bar/bistro (we're fans of craft beer and are pleased to see SF has a few good places offering it) and buy drinks, unsure of whether we'll dine there or not until we've got the "feel" of the place. Back home we'll tell the bartender we may stay to dine and ask if we can open a "tab" right from the start. In a tipping world, that would mean one tip at the end on the total bill, rather than tipping separately for each order. Is that the sort of thing you would do in the US?

Also, I gather that it's OK to decline the services of a bellhop? They don't mind? (I recall a time in Bangkok Airport where kids watch the baggage carousel and when they see you reach towards a bag the dart in ahead of you and grab it, then dash out towards the exit where they demand money before releasing it to you)! I'm picking US bellhops are not that pushy or blatant! It's not that I begrudge them a tip, but if I've carted my bag halfway round the world, something inside me rebels at letting someone carry it for me in an elevator to my room. (It's like when young people give up their seat for me in a bus - a part of me appreciates their good manners, but another part of me complains "Do I really look that old?")!

Anyway, this has been an extremely helpful response, so thanks everyone. Looking forward to seeing what you think about these last few points.

two: Opening a "tab" and tipping at the end is perfectly acceptable almost everywhere in the US, and especially in places that serve dinner. Sometimes the bartender will ask if you want to start a tab. If he/she doesn't, just ask, "We're going to start a tab, OK?"

Now, for the continiuing debate about tipping culture:

fl: >>It is a good honorable job.> Good days and bad days. >A server in Europe is not looked at the same way many do in the US.

two: Opening a "tab" and tipping at the end is perfectly acceptable almost everywhere in the US, and especially in places that serve dinner. Sometimes the bartender will ask if you want to start a tab. If he/she doesn't, just ask, "We're going to start a tab, OK?"

Now, for the continiuing debate about tipping culture:

fl: >>It is a good honorable job.> Good days and bad days. >A server in Europe is not looked at the same way many do in the US.

"Also, I gather that it's OK to decline the services of a bellhop? "

Absolutely ok. Simply smile and say, "thanks but I've got this."

The only thing to bear in mind when starting a tab at a bar is that some will hold onto your credit card while the tab is open. I don't particularly find that a problem, but something to be aware of.

Good point. I think, too, some bars have a system where they swipe your card at the start, rather than holding your card. But either is OK.

Hi twoflower,

Fodor's also has a blog article about tipping in the U.S. that includes a handy guide you can print out and carry with you. Here it is:

http://www.fodors.com/news/how-to-ti...rld-10820.html

Safe and happy travels!

Emily

>

In this day and age with the advancement of rolling luggage it is NOT necessary to use a bellhop ! And, in many hotels, they don't have a bellhop but give you the usage of one of those rolling hotel carts.

When I stay in a hotel with a bellhop and they see me and they ask if I need help with my bags I politely tell them "no thank you. I've got it. But thanks, again."

>
If you open a tab they usually ask for a credit card. I have had bars not ask. But, you just never know.

When I travel and open a tab I admit that when I'm given a glass of wine I will 'sometimes' still set down $1. Like I said, frequently when I do that the bartender will give me an extra 'pour' of wine. Doesn't work so much with mixed drinks but I have seen bartenders 'buy' someone a mixed drink if they so that they are tipping. But, I also don't always do that and I never expect an extra 'pour' or glass of wine. It's just nice If / When it happens.

elizzie - I do that too - tip in cash from the start, even if I open a tab. That way the bartender knows that I am a decent tipper, so I'm more likely to get better service. I think that if you are visiting from another country, this is a good practice because it alerts the bartender that yes, you are familiar with the tipping culture and he or she is not going to get stiffed.

I think everyone else pretty well handled the first questions you had . . . I'll let you know what I do, then move on to the second set of questions.

Shuttle: since they put your bags on and take them off, I give the driver $5 for the 2 of us. We often pre-pay. Sometimes the pre-pay option also includes whether you want to leave a tip, and I never do when making the reservation (it's been known that some places don't actually give it to the driver!). I never tip until AFTER service is concluded.

Restaurants: 20% unless they are horrible (vs. can't get to you right away because they are so busy with other customers or are learning the trade), then 15%. I base it on the full bill.

Cabs: 15 - 20%.

Bars: Paying by the glass vs. opening a tab: $1 - $2, and I say that because these days it's not surprising to pay over $10 for a drink. And if me and my husband get a drink and it's over $20 (often), I pay $3 for the round. When we open a tab - here's where it gets a little tricky. First, I never hand over a debit card (after doing that once and discovering an employee copied it and went on a shopping spree with the cloned number). Second, if it is clear that we have a designated bartender (either the only person at the bar or you can see a demarcation where Bartender A is serving only stools 1, 2, and 3), I wait until the bill comes. If it's clear that more than one person might be waiting on us, we drop $1 on the counter per drink.

Bellhops: I haven't seen legit bellhops at any US airport that runs up and grabs bags off a carousel. Anyone that tries to do that is viewed as a thief and is dealt with accordingly. I have seen that in European airports, from time to time, more often at train stations, and we grab our suitcases back or say "no" really loudly. Be assertive in a situation like that.

As for at hotels, we generally politely smile and say one is not needed (they generally ask if you need help) and that's not a surprise, and it's perfectly acceptable. However, there are times when we bring so much stuff (like a beach vacation) that we welcome the help. Generally tip the bellhop $5.00 if you use him/her.